It’s over. Not only is your relationship in the rear view mirror, but your breakup’s settling into the dust, too. And yet here you are, thinking about your ex. Wondering if you gave up too quickly. Asking yourself if it’s too late to make the relationship work.
What follows are the top 4 reasons you should get back together with your ex (At your own risk!)…
1. Because This Time It Could Really Work
All those things that DIDN’T work in your relationship before – whether it was cheating, opposing values, dishonesty, lack of respect, not wanting the same things out of life, money woes, differing views on politics, religion, children, etc? If you give it one more shot with your ex, those relationship obstacles might magically disappear and you two could actually make a GO of this Happily Ever After thing once and for all. If you find yourself saying, Maybe – just maybe – things will be different this time, you’re not alone. Smart, successful, amazing individuals just like you tell themselves this lie all the time so they can reconnect with their ex. My question to YOU is this: Is your ex saying the same thing? Are you in agreement about what needs to change in the relationship before you give it another go? Is the answer’s yes, Game ON. If the answer’s I don’t knowor No, Game OVER.
2. Because You Won’t Have to Become Your Best Self
In the wrong relationship, you don’t have to work on yourself. You get to spend so much time riding the roller coaster of emotional drama or stuck in the rock bottom of mediocrity. And there’s freedom there. You don’t have to take responsibility for yourself or your life. You don’t have to follow your dreams or evolve into the amazing human being you know deep down you’re meant to become. That’s the beauty of going back to your ex. No personal growth. But what if – and I’m just playing devils advocate here – what if you DID decide to grow? What if you gave yourself permission to become your best self? Would your ex be capable of celebrating, supporting, and nurturing that version of you? Think about it this way: In the wrong relationship, you don’t get to be who you know you’re meant to become. In the right one, you get seen, celebrated, loved, accepted, and supported for becoming just that. Which road would you rather travel?
3. Because Settling For So-So Is Far Better Than Working On Yourself
I get it. Being single can sometimes suck. Especially as you watch all your girlfriends settle down, get married, and live a life that feels out of reach. But guess what sucks even more than being temporarily alone? Being lonely in a relationship with the wrong person – forever. Sure, you can make the case that settling for a mediocre relationship means you’ll most likely meet those life milestones of Marriage, Baby, Now What? But I gotta tell you – those milestones are only meaningful with the right person. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, had I married and had a child with any other man I’d dated or been in a relationship with prior to meeting The Hubs, I’d either be divorced or in jail for murder. In this moment, which would you prefer – settling for so-so, or holding out for something and someone that/who might actually rock your socks off AND be your rock?
4. Because It’s Better To Risk Nothing Than Get What You REALLY Want
The disappointment that accompanies the demise of a relationship can be paralyzing.
It’s not just that you loved your ex and the life you had together. It’s that the version of Happily Ever After that you constructed in your head and heart is forever gone. And you’re forced to mourn the loss alone. This, by far, is the most compelling reason women especially want to get back with their ex. And while I think there’s nothing more exciting than for an individual to walk away from the wrong relationship (whether they got dumped or did the dumping) so they can get ready for the right one, I get that the risk of believing someone better is out there may feel far too risky. But here’s the thing all major thought leaders and successful love stories will tell you: Without great risk, there is no great reward. I don’t know about you, but I think you’re worthy of gambling on. I’m betting if you DON’T get back with your ex, you WILL eventually find the most amazing love of your life. But again – I said eventually. And I know that’s a word you may not yet be ready to bet on. Which is WHY you’re thinking about or have already gone back to your ex. Today, I invite you to step into possibility with me so that you just might see how amazing your future looks, if only you bet on yourself and do the self work necessary to become who you really want to be.
So there you have it. Four compelling reasons to get back with your ex and the reality checks that accompany each one. Which now begs one more question – when it comes to getting back with your ex, are you saying Game ON or Game OVER?