Congratulations on your breakup. Nobody ever says that, do they? But they should. Let me say it again. Congratulations on your breakup! See, I added an exclamation point this time because it really is big. All breakups are significant in some way because of what they ultimately teach us about ourselves. And the Big Breakup is especially significant. If you’re going through it, then you know what I’m talking about. The relationship was big. The breakup was definitely big. The resulting pain is big. Maybe even the relief is big. And I’ve got news for you — the movin’ on is really B-I-G.
(From the book’s introduction)
On Ex Etiquette: “Because there are just too many emotions swirling around in your post-breakup head, you should avoid seeing your ex in person at all costs. If you see your ex too soon, you run the risk of suffering potentially bad consequences, including any or all of the following:
1. Losing face by crying hysterically
2. Waking up beside him the next morning and realizing you just had sex with your ex
3. Getting arrested for assault and battery
Let’s face it: None of these situations is ideal. So if you can, avoid seeing your ex until your emotions are more stable. Only you can determine when that will be (and it’s okay to say never!).”
On The Post-Breakup Slump: “Interspersed between all of these difficult emotions, you may also be feeling a little bit relieved. There may even be moments when you feel manic elation about your sudden freedom from a relationship that just wasn’t working anymore. You may be prone to fits of laughter followed by a torrent of tears. Moments later, you might experience strong surges of panic, isolation, loneliness, and despair. Don’t worry — you’re not crazy…It’s called the Post-Breakup Slump. And before you can move on from your breakup, you must first celebrate your slump.”
On The Single Stigma: “Once upon a time, single women everywhere were afraid that being single too long meant they just might be single forever. But today, that’s just an antiquated notion in need of a major rewrite. If for some reason you cling to the idea that being single is a punishment you’re not sure you can bear, it’s time to once again reboot your brain. The truth is, being single is not a life sentence. It’s a state of mind. And it can be an amazing one if you apply your own personal flair to it. Exactly how do you do that? By being the star of your own life story. By not waiting for some guy to come along and complete/fix/save you. By tweaking how you look at your life. Instead of viewing your single status as something you have to make the best of, why not look at your life as something to holistically make the most of under any circumstance, whether you’re single, dating, married, or whatever? By putting the focus of your life on you — figuring out who you are, and what you want — you take the pressure off of waiting for some external force to fix everything. After all, you’re magnificent! Not because you’re single or in spite of being single, but just because you are. It’s about time you really believed it. And you can start by celebrating your current life and the many amazing adventures that are just around the corner. That’s what Part Two of this book is all about (We’re gonna have so much fun!).”
On Your Search for The One: “If you’re obsessively looking for The One, you won’t find him. And if you think the universe is mocking you by sending youon yet another bad date with some dork or jerk or clueless cad, you just might be on to something. While the universe is notorious for rewarding our hard work, it’s also known for having a wicked sense of humor, especially when it comes to our pursuit of love. Look too hard and you won’t find it. Invest too much of your energy, and all you’ll have to show for your efforts is a string of disappointing dates and a major dose of frustration.
But don’t give up hope.That’s the worst thing you could do. You just have to temper your expectations. Take some of that focus off your search, and invest it back into living and loving your life. The universe likes that (and so do guys!). By showing the universe (and men) that you’re open to love but not chasing it like a heat-seeking missile, you’re embracing your life in the now while remaining open to the possibilities.”
On Falling In Love Again: “The truth is that nobody’s perfect. There is no prince. Like it or not, nobody’s coming along to rescue you or take you away from your everyday grind. That’s why it’s so important to create a life that you live and love on your own terms — so that when your perfect partner does come along and his front tooth is crooked, or he’s shorter than you imagined, or his student loan debt is as staggering as yours is, you’ll still recognize him for the amazing individual that he is. You’ll still give him the time of day because you know that while he’s far from perfect, he’s pretty perfect for you.”
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