Single and 30? Welcome to The New Flirty, a.k.a. a new decade of dating in your 30s… with experience. Whereas you might have been willing to put up with bad boy behavior just because he’s cute in your 20s, as a 30something you’ve earned the right to be more discerning with who you date and how long you date them. If you’re ready to make 30 the New Flirty, keep reading. What follows are 4 success secrets to love your Single & Ready To Mingle status.
1. Happily Ever After Is Not A Competition
As you enter your 30s, some of your friends may be getting engaged, married, even having children. If you’re still single, it’s important to remember this. The fact that your friends are Consciously Coupling is NOT proof there’s something wrong with you because you’re still single. The reality is, you just happen to find yourself in different relationship stages at the same age. And while settling down in your 30s can be fabulous, so can being single. After all, without the financial responsibilities of saving for a wedding or baby, you get to focus your financial independence on Becoming YOU. You also get to put your energies towards your career and become a superstar of your own design. By living and loving your life as it is right now, you become a magnet for opportunities and people who find all that magnetism quite attractive including fellow singles who love their lives. (Note to self: Keep your eyes OPEN!)
2. Date Smarter, Not Harder
By the time you’re in your 30s, you most likely have an entire decade of dating/relationship experience under your belt – the good, the bad, and even the ugly. If you learn from past experiences, you can dedicate your 30s to enjoying more fun and success in your love life – not to mention more confidence and clarity. First, get clear about what didn’t work in past relationships. Done with dating drama? Good. Otherwise you’re doomed to repeat!. What would you do differently next time? Pay attention to red flags, ask more clearly for your needs to be met, etc. Then, get clear about the qualities and experiences from past relationships you’d like to experience with someone new. For example, was your ex kind-hearted but lazy? Add kind hearted to your Wish List but skip the lazy. By learning lessons from your 20s, you’re all the more likely to date smarter (not harder) in your 30s and attract someone with the qualities you appreciate – with fewer of the ones you don’t.
3. Put Yourself Out There
Between work commitments and friends coupling up, meeting like-minded singles may not be as common an occurrence as it was in your 20s. But that doesn’t mean being single in your 30s equals endless boring nights scrolling through On Demand movies you’ve already watched. It just means you may need to make more of a conscious effort to put yourself in target rich environments regularly. Start by defining your version of target rich. If you’re into sports, live sporting events, sports bars, and/or joining The Sierra Club will put you in target rich environments with like-minded cuties. If art’s your thing, museum galas, art gallery events, and art classes might be the right place to meet someone special. And if you’re a movie buff, instead of sneaking into the theater by yourself at the last minute, why not explore film buff events in your area like outdoor movie screenings, film festivals, and/or movie screenings followed by a mixer or live Q&A with the filmmakers? The more regularly you rub elbows with like-minded singles, the easier it is to expand that social circle and attract someone who could just be great relationship material. Maximize your online dating efforts by signing up for a dating site.
4. Work On Yourself
Your 30s is the ultimate decade for self improvement. The more you work on yourself, the more you become a really cool catch. And the more you become that cool catch, the more likely you are to be caught by someone cool. Start by making a list of 3 things you’d like to improve about yourself and your life. From Lose weight to Get in shape to Pay off debt to Go back to school to Buy my first home, by identifying what you’d first like to work on, and then creating a realistic action plan, you set yourself up for success – and personal fulfillment. (And just think – your perfect Someone Special may be out there right now, doing his/her best to become Catch-Worthy, too. Isn’t that work the effort?)
So there you have it. Four key ways to make 30 The New Flirty. When you commit to living and loving your life – regardless of your age or relationship stage – you ultimately fall in love with who you are and where you are. What comes next? You just might get caught by a real catch.
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