Suddenly Single: To rebound or not to rebound?
Submitted by Lisa Steadman on November 8, 2010 - 7:00 am
Considering a post-breakup rebound? Before you break out the new lingerie, consider the consequences.
Rebounding can be confusing, stressful, and downright sad. It can also send you running back to your ex.
Then again, it can make you feel sexy and desired, which may help you heal.
If you decide to rock your recovery with a rebound, proceed with caution, keeping your mind open to ALL possible outcomes, including the pitfalls.
For tips on how to celebrate being single and ready to mingle this holiday season and into 2011, enroll in my 30 Day Get Out There Challenge for Singles.
You can also pick up one of my 3 books, depending on where you are on the journey way from Mr. Wrong and towards Mr. Right:
It’s A Breakup Not A Breakdown: Get over the big one and change your life – for good!
If He’s Not The One, Who Is?: What Went Wrong – and What It Takes to Find Mr. Right
“Help! How do I date and have sex after 40?”
Submitted by Lisa Steadman on November 6, 2010 - 7:00 am
Are you new to the dating scene in your 40s and 50s? Do you feel like you have no clue how to meet men, date, and handle sex with someone new?
You’re not alone. But you do need to wise up quickly.
Here’s how:
- Trust your gut and intuition
- Don’t jump into sex before you know if your partner is being monogamous
- Be willing to have those tough conversations before getting intimate
- Protect your health at all costs (always practice safe sex!)
Embarking on new dating adventures can be scary at first, but they can also be fabulous! When in doubt, enlist the help of your Woohoo Crew. And share your success and questions here on the blog.
For more tips on how to celebrate being single and ready to mingle this holiday season and into 2011, enroll in my 30 Day Get Out There Challenge for Singles.
You can also pick up one of my 3 books, depending on where you are on the journey way from Mr. Wrong and towards Mr. Right:
It’s A Breakup Not A Breakdown: Get over the big one and change your life – for good!
If He’s Not The One, Who Is?: What Went Wrong – and What It Takes to Find Mr. Right
The Do’s and Don’ts of Dating During the Holidays
Submitted by Lisa Steadman on November 2, 2010 - 7:00 am
So you didn’t meet someone special this year. Before you throw in the towel, give yourself another chance to get love right in 2010 by putting your best foot forward and dating like a pro. Here are some do’s and don’t for rocking your dating life this holiday season…
Don’t: Misrepresent yourself just to get a date
While online dating is a valuable resource for the savvy single, there are people out there who misrepresent themselves. Don’t be one of them, especially during the holiday season. You don’t need to find love THAT badly.
And just as your online dating profile should accurately represent who you really are, your in-person encounters should be equally authentic. Don’t pretend to be something or someone you’re not to try and impress a potential partner. You’re fabulous just as you are and if somebody else can’t see that, it’s their loss. Besides, a relationship founded on lies and/or insincerities will quickly crumble.
Do: Be clear AND realistic about what you want
The most successful daters are those who not only know exactly what they want, but are realistic about themselves and what they’re looking for. Make a list of the qualities and traits you’re looking for in your perfect partner. Then look at that list and ask yourself how realistic it is. For example, is finding someone who makes great money more important than finding someone who lives within his means? Or if you think you want to meet someone who’s highly educated with multiple degrees, is that as important as finding someone with one degree but amazing life experiences that have helped shape and educate him? Make your list and as you continue dating, tweak the list to make it as clear and realistic as possible.
During the holidays, expectations can be a real bitch — for both men AND women. So instead of stressing about whether or not your coffee date will turn into your New Year’s Eve kiss, just enjoy getting to know someone casually this holiday season.
Don’t: Get stuck in a rut
Getting stuck in a dating rut or dry spell doesn’t have to be part of the single gal’s experience, especially not during the holiday season. Taking time away from the dating scene to breathe and reboot is one thing (and oh-so-necessary now and then). But getting stuck in a dating rut where you’re either not meeting anyone or only meeting the same type of guy over and over again is a thing of the past. And just because the holidays are around the corner DOESN’T mean you have to put finding love on hiatus. Remember, relax, have fun, and keep your expectations in check.
Do: Put yourself in target rich environments (often!)
The best way to avoid a dating rut is to get out there on a regular basis. And the holidays are the perfect time to do this! From office holiday parties to singles mixers to friends getting together, there are plenty of chances to rock your dating life during the holidays. Take advantage of all the fun festivities and put yourself in target rich environments as often as possible.
What’s a target rich environment? It’s any location where savvy and successful single men can be found in abundance. For the best results, choose a target rich environment based on your own interests. Don’t think sports bar (unless you’re a die-hard sports fan yourself), but instead think bookstore or singles event or museum fundraiser or political rally. Once you’re in your target rich environment, don’t forget to smile and circulate!
Tis the season to have fun, flirt, and be your fabulous single self. So why not rock your dating life and see what happens?
Are you scared to be single?
Submitted by Lisa Steadman on August 12, 2010 - 7:15 am
When it comes to being single, what scares you the most…
Standing on your own two feet?
Not having a date on Saturday night?
Never dating again?
Never meeting your perfect partner, falling in love, and experiencing your very own version of happily ever after?
All of the above?
The truth is, you ARE worthy of love, warts and all. Your happily ever after still exists. It’s just up to you to redefine it. In the meantime, it’s okay to be scared to be single. It may be new and unfamiliar territory, but guess what? As uncomfortable as it can sometimes feel, being single is also a gift and a blessing. And in time, you may just discover that you actually enjoy being single.
So how do you change how you feel about being single?
First, you admit that you still want to find love. That’s natural, normal, and biological.
Second, you surrender to NOT knowing when it will show up.
Then, you start creating a life YOU love, complete with taking full responsibility for your emotional well being, your financial fitness, and any other baggage that may be weighing you down.
And then you put yourself in target rich environments several times a week.
And celebrate fabulous YOU! In doing so, you’ll ease up on the self-imposed and societal pressure to couple up and instead live and love your life today.
If you’re ready to do what it takes to find Mr. Right, enroll in my FREE 30 Day Get Out There Challenge.
And be sure to pick up my man-ifesto for meeting Mr. Right: If He’s Not The One, Who Is?: What Went Wrong – and What It Takes to Find Mr. Right, available on Amazon and in bookstores.
For added support, join my Facebook Fan page here:
http://www.facebook.com/LisaSteadmanFans
Feeling lost when it comes to love?
Submitted by Lisa Steadman on August 10, 2010 - 7:03 am
Now that you know the signs you’re hung up on What could have been, how to STOP feeling like a failure at love, and how to END your suffering for wasting too much time with Mr. Wrong, it’s time to get some serious clarity.
It’s time to stop feeling lost when it comes to finding Mr. Right.
Let’s get your internal compass working again!
First, let’s determine where you got lost in the first place.
If you spent most of your last relationship catering to your ex’s every need, don’t beat yourself up for being too accommodating. Celebrate the fact that you’ve got a lot of love to give. Moving forward, why not put all of that amazing love and attention on your own interests, your own needs, your own self nurturing? That way, you’ll never again get lost in a relationship, living solely for the purpose of helping your partner get everything they want and need, all the while feeling suffocated, isolated, and/or under-appreciated.
Truthfully, in a healthy and happy relationship, wants and needs are a two-way street. You take care of yourself AND your partner, and vice versa.
Starting right now, ask yourself what it would FEEL like to get your needs met.
Imagine how your life would improve if Mr. Right was there for you.
It’s possible. First, you have to connect to how healthy and happy love looks and feels. Define it. Meditate on it. Journal about it.
CONNECT to it regularly so you’ll be able to recognize it when it shows up in your life.
Then when it shows up and you recognize it, don’t run the other way. Celebrate the fact that you’re a powerful manifester.
And embrace the fact that you are not lost nor are you a loser at love. You are right on time for YOUR happily ever after.
Stay tuned for more tips on how to set yourself free from dating drama and disappointment.
And if you’re REALLY ready to do what it takes to find Mr. Right, enroll in my FREE 30 Day Get Out There Challenge.
Pick up my man-ifesto for meeting Mr. Right: If He’s Not The One, Who Is?: What Went Wrong – and What It Takes to Find Mr. Right, available on Amazon and in bookstores.
For added support, join my Facebook Fan page here:
http://www.facebook.com/LisaSteadmanFans
Love that! In the meantime, focus all that love and attention on Y-O-U.
Feel like you wasted years with Mr. Wrong?
Submitted by Lisa Steadman on August 8, 2010 - 7:55 am
Be honest…
When you look in the rearview mirror of your last relationship, do you:
A. Kick yourself for staying too long
B. Feel like you wasted weeks, months, years of your life that you’ll never get back
C. Worry that your ex still has time to get everything he wants, but it’s too late for you
D. All of the above
Whether you chose A., B., C., or D., the good news is that it’s never too late to be true to yourself.
Did you stay longer than you should have in the wrong relationship? Maybe. But you probably still had lessons to learn. Can you recoup those so-called wasted weeks, months, years? Not literally, but cosmically, yes.
How?
By learning your lessons, promising to never again repeat patterns and habits that no longer work for you, and by remaining consistently committed to your amazing future. If you commit to your successful future, you will never again waste time on the wrong guy.
First, you must commit to doing the following:
1. Make your list of relationship wants, needs, and requirements so you’re crystal clear about what you do and don’t want
2. Become a red flag specialist who never again ignores all the signs that Mr. Wrong is NOT The One
3. Trust that Mr. Right is out there for you and don’t get unnecessarily sidelined by men who don’t match his description
4. Create a life you love so that you’re not waiting around for some guy to rescue you
5. Let go of unhealthy baggage that’s stifling you and keeping Mr. Right away
Can you see how getting hung up on the time you may have wasted with Mr. Wrong only keeps you stuck? Give yourself permission to set yourself free and move on — for good!
Stay tuned for more tips on how to set yourself free from dating drama and disappointment.
If you’re ready to do what it takes to find Mr. Right, enroll in my FREE 30 Day Get Out There Challenge.
And be sure to pick up my man-ifesto for meeting Mr. Right: If He’s Not The One, Who Is?: What Went Wrong – and What It Takes to Find Mr. Right, available on Amazon and in bookstores.
For added support, join my Facebook Fan page here:
http://www.facebook.com/LisaSteadmanFans
Do you feel like a failure at love?
Submitted by Lisa Steadman on August 6, 2010 - 6:47 am
One of the biggest signs that you’re not yet ready to find Mr. Right is that you’re stuck in the trap of “What could have been.” Specifically, you’ve fallen into the nasty trap of believing your ex was The One, and without him, you’re doomed.
Sound familiar?
Here’s another common trap I see women fall into…
They feel like a bit, fat failure at love.
When you look back at past relationships and see that the only two common denominators are you and the fact that the relationship ended, it’s easy to fall into the false assumption that you must be a failure at love. And while it’s true that you participated in each and every one of those past relationships, it’s also true that there was something about each of those relationships that worked for you at the time. On some level (emotionally, spiritually, sexually, etc.), you got something out of it. And you stayed because that need was being fulfilled.
The truth is, you are not a failure at love.
If you apply the lessons you’re learning from past relationships to your future, you’ll never again repeat those same issues, patterns, and mistakes. In fact, if you apply the Goldilocks principle to your next relationship, learning from what did and didn’t work in the past, you may even get it “just right” next time!
The key is to learn from the past, make the decision to stop repeating the same mistakes over and over in relationship after relationship, and choose better next time.
How can you learn from past relationship mistakes and STOP feeling like a failure at love?
Stay tuned for more tips on how to set yourself free from dating drama and disappointment.
And if you’re REALLY ready to do what it takes to find Mr. Right, enroll in my FREE 30 Day Get Out There Challenge.
Pick up my man-ifesto for meeting Mr. Right: If He’s Not The One, Who Is?: What Went Wrong – and What It Takes to Find Mr. Right, available on Amazon and in bookstores.
For added support, join my Facebook Fan page here:
http://www.facebook.com/LisaSteadmanFans
Signs you’re hung up on “What could have been”
Submitted by Lisa Steadman on August 3, 2010 - 7:36 am
Last week, I announced that I was going to start sharing valuable tips and tools so you could let go of Mr. Wrong and do what it takes to find Mr. Right.
To be honest, I see way too many beautiful, smart, successful women getting and staying hung up on a guy who’s not good for them. And while the occasional run in with Mr. Wrong is normal during a single gal’s journey, getting stuck in a bad relationship or in a never ending loop of loving one Mr. Wrong after another can lead to massive heartbreak, disappointment, loss, and serious financial and emotional debt.
Trust me, I’ve been there.
And I’ve worked with enough women who are starting over yet again after Mr. Wrong wronged them that I want to help you change your fate.
Over the next 3 weeks, I’ll share top 5 traps I see women get stuck in. I’ll also share how you can get un-stuck from these traps so you can find out what it takes to meet Mr. Right.
Even if you’re not quite ready to manifest Mr. Right, you can take at least 1 step today to let go of your love for Mr. Wrong and/or your addiction to bad love.
First, I need you to be honest.
Do you think your ex was The One?
Are you paralyzed by the fear that you don’t have what it takes to get love right?
Do you spend countless nights lying awake, obsessing about how much time you’ve wasted in relationship after relationship that just never worked out?
I get it. I’ve been there. And as someone who once got love wrong every time until she woke up, wised up, and discovered what it takes to find Mr. Right, I want to share with you how being hung up on “What could have been” is sabotaging your chances of finding love.
If you’re haunted by the disappointment you feel at what your future could have looked like but never quite materialized, STOP.
You’re not alone. I’ve been there. And so have so many other smart, successful, amazing women just like you.
As women, we’re biologically and socially wired to want certain things: a home, someone to love, possibly a family. When a relationship ends, it’s like a part of our soul dies. The disappointment in ourselves and our inability to make love work can stifle any hopes of letting go and moving on to a more hopeful future.
But guess what?
It’s time to turn down the volume on that pain and disappointment.
It’s time to accept that for whatever reason, things didn’t work out with Mr. Wrong. You did your very best. In fact, I know you did more than your share to ensure relationship success. You don’t have to know why the relationship ended in order to move on. But you do have to give yourself permission to stop looking over your shoulder, stop obsessing about “What could’ve been,” and instead reacquaint yourself with your present circumstances, freeing yourself up to walk step by step into that magnificent future.
Today, I invite you to ask yourself: How am I hung up on “What could have been?”
And then, give yourself permission to let go of your fantasies about the past and step into the reality that Mr. Wrong wasn’t The One. You are not a failure at love. There’s STILL time for you to get love right.
You just have to get un-stuck first.
Can you see how being stuck in the trap of “What could have been” is holding you back? If so, give yourself permission to set yourself free and move on.
Stay tuned for more tips on how to set yourself free from dating drama and disappointment.
If you’re ready to do what it takes to find Mr. Right, enroll in my FREE 30 Day Get Out There Challenge.
And be sure to pick up my man-ifesto for meeting Mr. Right: If He’s Not The One, Who Is?: What Went Wrong – and What It Takes to Find Mr. Right, available on Amazon and in bookstores.
For added support, join my Facebook Fan page here:
http://www.facebook.com/LisaSteadmanFans
Back By Popular Demand: Ask Lisa ANYTHING!
Submitted by Lisa Steadman on July 6, 2010 - 5:42 pm
Back By Popular Demand: Ask Lisa Steadman
FREE call with best selling author, internationally renowned
relationship expert, and CEO of Woohoo, Inc.
Tuesday, July 13 @ 6pm Pacific | 9pm Eastern
If you could ask me anything about where YOU are on the journey away from Mr. Wrong and into the arms of Mr. Right, what would it be?
Join my FREE call where I’ll answer YOUR burning relationship questions on Tuesday, July 13.
Click here to register for the call.
Eris Huemer on 30 Of the Best Places to Meet Men
Submitted by Lisa Steadman on June 25, 2010 - 6:00 am
Here’s another gem of brilliance from my friend and dating coach Eris Huemer. 30 best places to meet men? Sounds like another 30 day challenge to me! 
You might be asking, “Where are all of the single fish in the sea?’
One of the Greatest Relationship Secrets that you must know now is: EVERYWHERE!
One of the greatest relationship myths is that “All the good guys are taken.”
In fact, the fact is that 44% of adult Americans are single, which means there are over 100 million unattached men and women. So, there have got to be some good – even GREAT – men out there.
So, the burning question on your lips right now is, “Where do I find these men?”
The answer is – OUTSIDE!
Yes, I said OUTSIDE. And, he’s looking for you.
That means he’s not in your home or hiding under your bed. And, he probably won’t be the mailman knocking on your door tomorrow morning. He’s out in the world, living his life, hunting for you.
That means that you need to start going out and about if you want to find your man.
As you probably know, attracting a relationship can be enjoyable but sometimes challenging. That’s why, if you want to attract the relationship that you want and deserve, you have to go where people gather.
But, before you start your quest you must know these 2 things:
1. What kind of a mate do you want to attract in your life? Write a list and be specific.
2. What hobbies do you enjoy? What hobbies do you want your mate to enjoy?
Write these things down and then begin to take on the perspective of men are everywhere. Remember the song “It’s raining men! Hallelujah!” Well, sing it and believe it.
After all, it’s all about perspective.
If you believe that all of the good men are taken. Then, you will attract all of the good men who are taken.
If you know that there are plenty of single, great fish in the sea, then that’s what you will attract.
Which perspective would you like to try on?
If you are ready to go out and attract the relationship that you want and deserve, I have scouted 30 of the top locations men can be found…
The Internet
Volunteering
The Apple store
A Fortune 500 or tech company
The weight room in the gym
A political rally or campaign
Sports Bar on a Sunday or Monday night
A volleyball league
A rock-climbing center
A steak house
Seminars
Business conferences
Baseball Diamonds
Restaurant Bar
Hotel Lounge
Polo Games
Golf Tournaments
Networking Events
Home Depot/Lowes
Singles groups
Grocery Store
Gas Station
Gallery Openings
Book Store
Best Buy
Airport
Work Functions
The Mall
Museums
The Beach
And the list goes on…
Do you get my drift? Men are everywhere.
There are many great men looking to attract the women of their dreams. I suggest that you go fishing and catch your mate.
Let me know how it goes. And keep rocking Lisa’s 30 Day Get Out There Challenge!
About The Expert
Eris Huemer, M.A., is an internationally sought after relationship counselor and coach, author, speaker and CEO of SIRE Enterprises, who specializes in doing Love Makeovers with singles and couples. She can be found at http://loveeris.com/
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