Do you feel like a failure at love?
Submitted by Lisa Steadman on August 6, 2010 - 6:47 am
One of the biggest signs that you’re not yet ready to find Mr. Right is that you’re stuck in the trap of “What could have been.” Specifically, you’ve fallen into the nasty trap of believing your ex was The One, and without him, you’re doomed.
Sound familiar?
Here’s another common trap I see women fall into…
They feel like a bit, fat failure at love.
When you look back at past relationships and see that the only two common denominators are you and the fact that the relationship ended, it’s easy to fall into the false assumption that you must be a failure at love. And while it’s true that you participated in each and every one of those past relationships, it’s also true that there was something about each of those relationships that worked for you at the time. On some level (emotionally, spiritually, sexually, etc.), you got something out of it. And you stayed because that need was being fulfilled.
The truth is, you are not a failure at love.
If you apply the lessons you’re learning from past relationships to your future, you’ll never again repeat those same issues, patterns, and mistakes. In fact, if you apply the Goldilocks principle to your next relationship, learning from what did and didn’t work in the past, you may even get it “just right” next time!
The key is to learn from the past, make the decision to stop repeating the same mistakes over and over in relationship after relationship, and choose better next time.
How can you learn from past relationship mistakes and STOP feeling like a failure at love?
Stay tuned for more tips on how to set yourself free from dating drama and disappointment.
And if you’re REALLY ready to do what it takes to find Mr. Right, enroll in my FREE 30 Day Get Out There Challenge.
Pick up my man-ifesto for meeting Mr. Right: If He’s Not The One, Who Is?: What Went Wrong – and What It Takes to Find Mr. Right, available on Amazon and in bookstores.
For added support, join my Facebook Fan page here:
http://www.facebook.com/LisaSteadmanFans
Relationship Red Flags: Three things you must know by Jennifer Gauvain, MSW, LCSW
Submitted by Lisa Steadman on June 26, 2010 - 6:56 am
Earlier in my 30 Day Get Out There Challenge, I introduced you to Jennifer Gauvain, co-author of the fabulous new book How Not to Marry the Wrong Guy: Is He the One or Should You Run? I’m thrilled to share Jennifer’s amazing insight into relationship red flags and how to stop ignoring them.
As you continue dating and meeting men during and after Lisa’s 30 Day Challenge, I want you to keep something in mind. When it comes to relationship red flags, there are three things you must know:
1. You can’t ignore them.
2. They are different for everyone.
3. Your gut feelings help you recognize them.
Let’s be honest. We all know what red flags in relationships are. They are seriously unappealing or problematic actions, attitudes and behaviors exhibited by your partner. We’ve seen countless articles detailing red flag after red flag. The problem is that while we recognize them, we often choose to ignore them.
My friend Jincey dated a guy who was 38 years old and lived with his mother. “I knew that was a red flag, but I ignored it,” she says. “One night, not too long after we started dating, we went back to his mom’s house to watch TV. He stripped down totally naked and sat on the couch. His mom brought us snacks and he just sat there. She cleaned up and ignored the fact he was naked. He must have done it all the time!” So what’s wrong with watching TV naked? Jincey said the real problem was his child-like dependence on his mother. Guess what? She married him anyway and it didn’t end well. “He could barely take care of himself and was terrible with money. He had a hard time keeping a job. He was sweet, but so irresponsible. He didn’t want a wife, he wanted another mommy.”
She would have saved herself a lot of heartache—and money—if she had paid attention to the irresponsibility red flag that was flying from the very beginning. “I just wanted the relationship to work out,” says Jincey. “I was tired of being alone.”
The other often misunderstood fact about red flags is that they are different for everyone. Jealousy, meanness, and avoidance are common red flags. And while it’s important to be aware of these red flags, a one-size-fits-all list doesn’t address your gut feelings. A-life-of the-party-girl may see extreme shyness as a red flag in a potential mate. Or a sports fanatic female may be turned off by a guy who dislikes sports. Or….maybe she won’t. Everyone’s different. So how do you know what a red flag is for you? Your gut will tell you. Or that little voice in your head will start to speak up and point out a potential problem in your relationship.
Katie, a 27 year old teacher, confesses that she is stuck in a relationship with the wrong guy. He’s a nice guy, but there are several red flags that are stirring up her gut feelings. “He sees the world as a sea of options, and has a hard time deciding what he wants to do,” she says. “Then, when he decides on something, he has a hard time sticking with it. That’s a red flag to me. And my gut questions his ability to help any family we might have someday. He also seems to care more about his adventures and his life than he does my own. It makes me think that he won’t be there for the important milestones in my life.”
Katie’s inner wisdom recognizes these red flags. Let’s hope she find the courage to take action. Here are some things to think about to make sure you can recognize red flags, and more importantly, not ignore them:
• When his behavior bothers you, pay attention. Is the little voice in your head trying to warn you about something? Don’t look the other way! Think about the behavior that concerns you and reflect on it.
• Ask yourself if you are changing your behavior in response to your boyfriend or partner’s behavior. Are you walking on egg shells? Are you avoiding difficult conversations? If you do try to talk about something, how does he react?
• Fast forward ten years. How will this particular behavior or attitude play out in the future? Will he be a good dad? A good friend? A solid employee? A reliable husband?
When it comes to red flags, what you see now is what you get later. Once you train yourself to recognize—and act on—the red flags in your relationships, you are on your way to a happier, more satisfying life. The choice is yours!
About The Expert
Jennifer Gauvain is the co-author of How Not to Marry the Wrong Guy: Is He the One or Should You Run? (Broadway/Random House, May 2010). She is a marriage and family therapist with clients around the country. For more information visit her website at coldfeetpress.com.
Eris Huemer on 30 Of the Best Places to Meet Men
Submitted by Lisa Steadman on June 25, 2010 - 6:00 am
Here’s another gem of brilliance from my friend and dating coach Eris Huemer. 30 best places to meet men? Sounds like another 30 day challenge to me! 
You might be asking, “Where are all of the single fish in the sea?’
One of the Greatest Relationship Secrets that you must know now is: EVERYWHERE!
One of the greatest relationship myths is that “All the good guys are taken.”
In fact, the fact is that 44% of adult Americans are single, which means there are over 100 million unattached men and women. So, there have got to be some good – even GREAT – men out there.
So, the burning question on your lips right now is, “Where do I find these men?”
The answer is – OUTSIDE!
Yes, I said OUTSIDE. And, he’s looking for you.
That means he’s not in your home or hiding under your bed. And, he probably won’t be the mailman knocking on your door tomorrow morning. He’s out in the world, living his life, hunting for you.
That means that you need to start going out and about if you want to find your man.
As you probably know, attracting a relationship can be enjoyable but sometimes challenging. That’s why, if you want to attract the relationship that you want and deserve, you have to go where people gather.
But, before you start your quest you must know these 2 things:
1. What kind of a mate do you want to attract in your life? Write a list and be specific.
2. What hobbies do you enjoy? What hobbies do you want your mate to enjoy?
Write these things down and then begin to take on the perspective of men are everywhere. Remember the song “It’s raining men! Hallelujah!” Well, sing it and believe it.
After all, it’s all about perspective.
If you believe that all of the good men are taken. Then, you will attract all of the good men who are taken.
If you know that there are plenty of single, great fish in the sea, then that’s what you will attract.
Which perspective would you like to try on?
If you are ready to go out and attract the relationship that you want and deserve, I have scouted 30 of the top locations men can be found…
The Internet
Volunteering
The Apple store
A Fortune 500 or tech company
The weight room in the gym
A political rally or campaign
Sports Bar on a Sunday or Monday night
A volleyball league
A rock-climbing center
A steak house
Seminars
Business conferences
Baseball Diamonds
Restaurant Bar
Hotel Lounge
Polo Games
Golf Tournaments
Networking Events
Home Depot/Lowes
Singles groups
Grocery Store
Gas Station
Gallery Openings
Book Store
Best Buy
Airport
Work Functions
The Mall
Museums
The Beach
And the list goes on…
Do you get my drift? Men are everywhere.
There are many great men looking to attract the women of their dreams. I suggest that you go fishing and catch your mate.
Let me know how it goes. And keep rocking Lisa’s 30 Day Get Out There Challenge!
About The Expert
Eris Huemer, M.A., is an internationally sought after relationship counselor and coach, author, speaker and CEO of SIRE Enterprises, who specializes in doing Love Makeovers with singles and couples. She can be found at http://loveeris.com/
First Decide Whether You Like Him by Bobbi Palmer
Submitted by Lisa Steadman on June 19, 2010 - 9:55 am
OK, I loved Bobbi Palmer’s advice so much that I asked her to dole out some more nuggets of dating wisdom! This time, she’s putting her own spin on my Become The Chooser video. Enjoy!
It’s pathetic how easily I can find my self acting like the insecure kid I was in high school. These days it doesn’t come up too much, but can happen when I meet someone I especially like and admire, and get the sense they don’t return the feeling. I can get to feeling so hurt and undeserving that I turn into a withdrawn ball of mush.
Sometimes it’s hard to ignore these feelings; real or not. Whether you’re 18 or over 58 rejection feels like crap. Over the years it’s caused me real pain. But there’s a difference between when it happened in high school and when it happens now. Now I’ve learned some life skills that help me through it. I have a conscious conversation with myself that goes something like this:
Stop! You’re acting like a high school girl. That woman has shown no clear signs that she doesn’t like or respect you. It’s all in your head. You’re being insecure. Just be your terrific self. There’s no reason she shouldn’t like you.
I try to drop myself back in reality, and be kind to myself. It almost always works.
This was definitely a pattern for me as I started dating and looking for love. When I’d meet a single man it only took me about 5 minutes to start trying to figure out if he liked me. Until I had that answer — or at least thought I had the answer — I was stuck in my head. The chatter was often overwhelming, and not just during the date. It lasted well after it was over. Looking back, I’m sure it affected how I acted when I met men, and it probably cost me some good dating action.
Once I learned the “be real and be nice to yourself” self-talk tool it helped me a lot when I was dating. It would lower the voice of that chatter. But it wasn’t until I got the following brilliant nugget from my super talented therapist that my dating and love life really changed:
First, decide whether you like him.
What a concept! Do you like him? Is this a man you feel good being with? Does he seem to have the qualities you are looking for in a close companion or potential husband?
I never considered that question because I was so wrapped up in whether he liked me. Do I like him? Once I learned to ask this first, it turned out that I didn’t even need to have that whole other conversation with myself. Because if the answer was “no” the rest didn’t matter.
It took me a lot of time and money to learn this. It’s pretty simple, isn’t it? It honestly changed the way I looked at men and, surprisingly, it changed the way I thought about myself. Asking and answering this first kept me from wasting time and energy wondering if I was liked by someone I didn’t even like. More importantly, it forced me to think of myself first. What do I want? Does this man seem worthy of me? These were questions I hadn’t been asking myself. And they are the most important questions.
During Lisa’s 30 Day Get Out There Challenge, try it. Next time you go on a date or just meet an available man, ask yourself: Do I like him? Let me know if it changes your dating experiences like it did mine.
About The Expert
Bobbi Palmer is a dating and relationship coach, speaker, blogger, and author helping smart, independent women find meaningful love while enjoying the dating along the way. (She should know…she followed her own advice and married the man of her dreams at 47!) You can read her blog and take her Man-O-Meter Test at http://datelikeagrownup.com.
Eris Huemer on “Are All Men Jerks?”
Submitted by Lisa Steadman on June 16, 2010 - 6:00 am
Are you at the point in your life where you say to yourself, “All Men Are Jerks!”?
One of the things that I hear my women clients (and gay male friends) say over and over again when they first come to me is:
“Where have all of the good men gone?”
Or, “All of the good guys are taken!”
Do you have a history of dating the same “Mr. Wrongs” over and over again?
Do you seem to repeat the same issues in relationships time and time again?
If so, then it’s easy to believe that ALL MEN ARE JERKS.
The truth is that all men are NOT TAKEN and NOT EVERY ONE IS A JERK.
As you continue rocking Lisa’s 30 Day Get Out There Challenge, I invite you to change your beliefs about men.
Of course there are some situations where the man is not on his “best behavior.” So, why were you with him in the first place? And even more importantly – why did you stay?
The question for you is: what are you doing in your relationships that attract the same men and situations over and over again? What is it in you that you need to heal? See, it’s not all about him and what he is doing or has done.
IT REALLY IS ALL ABOUT YOU.
Thinking that all men are jerks is a limiting belief on love.
More limiting beliefs about love are:
* All men cheat. They can’t be trusted.
* All good men are taken/married.
* I don’t deserve love.
* There is no love for me.
* I am unlovable.
* I don’t deserve to be loved.
* Love doesn’t really exist or last.
* Who would want me? I’m too old, fat, unattractive…
* I’m too busy to date.
* Love is pain, so I don’t want it
I suggest that you change your negative thinking and know that there are great guys (and girls) out there. Shift your Limited Beliefs on love to Unlimited Beliefs about the Abundance of love.
A few common examples are:
* There are faithful and committed men. They can be trusted.
* There are many available men.
* I deserve love.
* I have so much to offer a mate!
* Men are constantly asking me out on a date.
* It’s never too late for love.
* There is such thing as love and I embrace it in my life.
* There is enough time in the day for me to date.
* Love is joyful because I get to grow and become more of my best self.
* I create love in my life everyday.
* I am always connected to a power that is greater than me (whatever it is me) to attract me to the relationship of my highest & best good.
Now it’s your turn.
What are your new Unlimiting Beliefs about the Abundance of love?
So, the answer to the first question is: The good men have gone nowhere.
Its up to you to get yourself out there and find him!
About The Expert
Eris Huemer, M.A., is an internationally sought after relationship counselor and coach, author, speaker and CEO of SIRE Enterprises, who specializes in doing Love Makeovers with singles and couples. She can be found at http://loveeris.com/
Marni Battista on How to Have Great Conversation on Your Next Date
Submitted by Lisa Steadman on June 13, 2010 - 6:18 am
Typically, when men are with men, they will discuss what they are making, fixing or achieving. Remember, while men are clearly no longer living in caves bringing back the kill, they are still stimulated by discussing topics related to competition, adventure, and achievement. As a result, men typically enjoy discussing sports, video games, fast cars, and those things that have an element of danger. It is in talking about these things that they are able to raise levels of a chemical in their brain called dopamine. When men experience appropriate dopamine levels they are fulfilled, have energy, and need to spend less time in the “man cave.” In addition, men are traditionally more focused on the bottom line, in that they want to know how to resolve a situation. As a result, they are less interested in the complexity of a situation, and only want to know the essential information. Thus, men would most likely synthesize the incident, break it into small pieces, and then focus on a possible resolution.
Conversely, in a similar situation, a group of women might spend hours discussing the details and complexity of a scenario. Women will breakdown how it happened, crave elaborate details about who was involved and what each person was possibly thinking, and then begin to discuss a myriad of possible solutions, elaborating on the pros and cons of each possibility. According to Georgetown University Professor of Linguistics, Deborah Tannen, men and women’s differing approaches to conversation begin in childhood. Tannen states that as children, girls on the playground will choose to sit in small groups and talk whereas boys choose to play in larger activity-based groups. In addition, Tannen points out that men typically use conversation to show or maintain status. Women, however, want to remain the same during conversation and use words such as “maybe we could,” or “is there any way we could,” as to not appear to aggressive.
That said, how does this effect conversation on a date? Here are a few guidelines:
1. Engage men by asking them about things that get them excited. Does he like motorcycles? Drive one? Hope to race one someday? What cool adventures has he had? Get him to tell you about the trip he took with his buddies to Pakistan. Or how he went fishing in the snake river. Did he risk life and limb hiking in the Grand Canyon during an unexpected snowstorm. Watch as his eyes light up, recounting the details of his adventure. What’s more, you get to see what things get him excited. Don’t dive into the details though, pressing him for specifics. Ask how it turned out, allowing him to get to the exciting finale without too much delay.
2. As a women, make an effort to bring your feminine energy to the date. Stay away from a typically male conversation style in which you appear to “one-up” your date. He went to Pakistan? Don’t then, tell the story of how you went to Morocco and suffered far more than he did, enduring sweltering heat and far more horrid conditions. Instead, tell the story, focus on why it was memorable. Let him know that you enjoy adventure. Share details, but don’t linger too long. Remember, men can get lost in detail. Keep him interested. Move to the resolution of the story efficiently.
3. Mix up the type of dates you plan. While sitting in a restaurant conversing is quite comfortable and best matches the conversational style of a woman, remember that men like activity. Go bowling. Take a hike. Drive the bumper cars. Provide opportunities for the man to engage in conversation while he is active. It will raise his dopamine levels, thus keeping him interested and focused on you.
4. Ask questions. Women love to be with men who are interested in details, activelisteners and don’t always try to “fix” a problem or situation she is describing. Because men are solution-oriented, however, they often want to cut to the chase, provide the solution and be heroic (Heroics raise men’s dopamine levels, making them feel good, but it mostly just makes a woman feel like you want her to stop talking if she hasn’t asked you for your opinion yet.) Part of listening is merely being a receptive container for the other person’s thoughts and feelings. Believing that is your job to provide a ”fix” can often a disservice to the person who is talking. Just listen. Be present and ask questions when appropriate. Be compassionate and empathetic. If she asks for advice, lend your opinion. If she doesn’t ask, then ask her directly if she wants your take on the situation. If not, be supportive. Give a hug if appropriate, and let her know you care.
It is imperative to remember that men and women’s conversational styles are different. Be confident, and most importantly, don’t personalize each thing that your date says. Instead, a date is the perfect opportunity to practice engaging in “curious conversation,” an interaction in which listening is often more important than talking.
See if you can use some of these conversation tools during Lisa’s 30 Day Challenge. Good luck!
About The Expert
Marni Battista is the founder of DatingWithDignity.com. She gives advice, tips and scripts nearly every day on her website, teaches workshops, holds AMAZING, powerful group coaching classes, hosts mixers and works with clients one-on-one.
Day 12: How to believe good men are out there
Submitted by Lisa Steadman on June 12, 2010 - 7:02 am
Be honest — do you believe there are no good men left?
If so, you will be RIGHT.
You’ll also be ALONE.
If you want to meet someone special, you have to believe he exists.
You need to open your mind to the idea that good men ARE out there.
And to start, pay attention to the good men in your every day life. The ones who compliment you, support you, inspire you, or even just open the door for you!
By SEEING the good men in the world, you’ll shift your thinking, get out of your own way, and start to celebrate good men. In doing so, you’re more likely to attract one.
Now, once you start celebrating and attracting good men, you need to know what to do next.
First, make sure you always leave the house feeling cute, desirable, and sassy. That way, when a cutie’s checking you out, you can confidently strike up a conversation, practice your flirting techniques, and become the chooser in your love life.
Oh, and don’t forget to HAVE FUN!
For more tips like this, check out my 30 Day Get Out There Challenge.
Ten Can’t Miss Flirting Moves from Dr. Diana Kirschner
Submitted by Lisa Steadman on June 11, 2010 - 6:37 am
OK, Ladies. Ready to revv up your flirting skills during my 30 Day Get Out There Challenge? My friend Dr. Diana Kirschner has 10 key flirting moves to implement TODAY. Which ones work for you?
Flirting is phenomenal! It is a playful, fun activity that helps you feel more attractive and boosts your flirtee’s self esteem. Flirting can be a complete encounter; it doesn’t mean you have to go any farther. As long as you are in a safe public place, a little flirting is a fun, uplifting activity. Within a relationship, flirting is very important: it gives your date or partner clear “go” signals that indicate you find him attractive.
Flirting is especially important to practice if you are shy or nervous with men or typically caught in a deadly dating pattern I call “Just Buddies.” In this all-too-common pattern you have guy friends at work or outside, watch sports with them, play video or other games with them, but create no romantic connections. Then you wonder why none of these men are into you.
Dylan, a brilliant, hard-working engineer, whose gorgeous bod was permanently camouflaged in pantsuits or sweats, talks about her Just Buddies pattern:
I work with a lot of guys and I love sports, so we wind up going out after work to sports bars, kicking back a few drinks and doing the guy thing together. I’m the one they tell all their girl problems to. It’s all great, except for Rob, who I think I’ve been in love with for the past year. He just got engaged! After working with one of your Love in 90 Days Mentors, I realized that I’m afraid to be more of a woman with a guy. Truth is, I don’t really know how to flirt and have never asked anyone for help.
Dylan worked with her Love Mentor and got over her deadly dating pattern by dressing in more feminine clothes and by flirting. She is now having an incredible time dating terrific guys.
Like Dylan, many of us simply feel like we don’t know how to flirt. We see our girlfriends doing it, starting spirited connections with men and leaving us in the dust. But the truth is that flirting is a skill that can be learned! If flirting doesn’t come naturally, try it first on men who are not threatening to you like Dylan did with her game night friends. But make sure you eventually build up to the hotties.
If you are nervous, blushing or shy, let it be. This kind of energy is particularly endearing and attractive. And surprisingly enough, if you are very attractive, flirting is especially important! The good men are often quite intimidated by a beautiful woman, and you have to be very clear in signaling your interest.
So here are 10 key flirting moves adapted from my bestselling dating advice book, Love in 90 Days: The Essential Guide to Finding Your Own True Love:
- Make eye contact and smile. If he makes lingering or repeated eye contact back, he is probably interested.
- Ask for help as you adjust your shoe, lean on his arm and adjust it.
- Look at him, look away, then look back.
- While sitting, cross your legs and jiggle your foot in his direction.
- Touch him lightly on the arm, shoulder or neck.
- Touch your lips, neck or chest.
- Brush your hand through your hair.
- Play with your hair, clothing or an object.
- Whisper in his ear.
- Give him a mini-massage.
Pick two or three of these simple flirting acts and try them out. You will be amazed at how easy they are to do. Then try a few more. Over time you can become accomplished at flirting whenever you want to, no matter how attractive a hottie is! Learn more about busting through shyness and finding, attracting and dating terrific guys in Love in 90 Days: The Essential Guide to Finding Your Own True Love.
About The Expert
Psychologist Dr. Diana Kirschner, is a frequent guest on the Today Show, successfully ran the 90 Day Love Challenge on the Fox Morning Show and is the star of a PBS TV Special based on her bestselling dating advice book, Love in 90 Days. She has helped thousands of single women find lasting love. Get Dr. Diana’s Dating Tips & Relationship Advice Newsletter ($59 value) FREE at www.lovein90days.com
Day 8: Are you hung up on your ex?
Submitted by Lisa Steadman on June 8, 2010 - 7:44 pm
Be honest — Are you hung up on your ex?
If you secretly believe your ex was The One, that your chance at getting love right went out the window when your last relationship did, or that you’ll never meet anyone better than your ex, you’ll be right.
You’ll also be miserable and alone.
If you really want to rock my 30 Day Get Out There Challenge, today’s the day to break free from the belief that your ex was The One and instead embrace the fact that your happily ever after future still exists. With someone else. In your FUTURE.
Once your ex is off his pedestal, you are free to meet someone new. Someone better suited for you. Even if you haven’t met him yet, he is out there. It’s up to you to do the work to find him.
And remember, this should be FUN! Start implementing my daily video tips and the other advice posted on my blog during the challenge. And report your progress.
For additional support breaking free from limiting beliefs about your love future, get a copy of my e-book Bad Love No More: How to kick limiting relationship beliefs to the curb and say yes to real and lasting love!
Cherry Norris On How to Catch A Cutie’s Eye
Submitted by Lisa Steadman on June 6, 2010 - 7:00 am
I’m so excited to share with you my friend Cherry Norris’ 3 easy to implement tips for catching a cutie’s attention! It may sound TOO easy, but it’s not. It’s JUST RIGHT. Follow the 3 steps listed below and have fun with the results!
You’re out with your girlfriends. You’re having a great time talking and laughing.
When suddenly, out of the corner of your eye, you spot him. A cutie who quickens your pulse. Could he be your man?
What do you do? How do you know if he’s available to meet you?
You could just go up and ask him. Be brave. Speak first. See if he’s interested.
I wouldn’t advise it.
Why not?
Because when you approach a man and make the first move, you don’t know if he’s YOUR man. He may be someone else’s man and is acting polite.
So how do you meet this cutie?
Catch His Eye
Catch his eye and smile for five seconds. Yes, it’s tough. Yes, it feels like forever and you feel like a slut. Your lip sticks to your teeth because all the saliva is out of your mouth and down to your pits.
But it’s important to do it anyway.
Catch your cutie’s eye and hold the gaze long enough to see if he’s interested, available and safe to meet you.
If he is, he will approach you.
Wait For Him to Speak
When your cutie approaches you, let him speak first. Let him start the conversation. Let him say whatever he wants to say.
It’s tough when your cutie is thinking of what to say to you for the first time. He doesn’t want to look like an idiot. He wants to say something that will impress you or make you laugh. He wants your respect.
So no matter how awkward or clumsy it feels, just sit, smile and wait for him to speak.
Even if he says something stupid like, “Where’d you get your shoes?”, (You’ll laugh about it later) your man is brave. He’s a hero. It takes courage for your cutie to walk across the room and say “hello.”
Follow the Leader
After he speaks, be receptive to whatever he says. Let him talk and lead the conversation. He’ll tell you who he is. He’ll give you a lot of good information.
This is good news for many reasons. You don’t have to be clever. You don’t have to perform. You don’t have to impress him with your accomplishments. You get to relax, listen to his stories and be entertained by them or not.
Hear what he says. Hear what he’s offering. See how he makes you feel.
Your cutie will want you and tell you he does. He will make a plan to see you and care about your feelings.
If he’s not your cutie, he won’t do these things. Instead, he’ll ask you to call him and expect you to want him more. And if he does make a plan, it’s rare he follows through.
As you get out there during Lisa’s challenge, pay attention to the cuties who approach, take risks, and pursue you. And pay attention to those you approach, take risk, and pursue. YOUR cutie will make the effort, follow up, and follow through.
About The Expert
Cherry Norris, “The Hollywood Dating Director” helps single women prepare for the role of a lifetime so they can star in their own love story. She can be found at http://hollywooddatingdirector.com/index.html
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