FREE CALLS: 2 Nights. 4 Love Experts. YOUR Questions Answered!
Submitted by Lisa Steadman on September 2, 2010 - 6:24 pm
Does Mr. Right Know How To Find You?
Summer’s over. Fall is here. And before you know it, you’ll be standing under the mistletoe.
The question is…
Will you be standing under it alone or with someone special?
Join Lisa Steadman and 3 of her all time favorite love experts for 2 FREE calls where you get to ask the questions AND get time tested tips and tools for meeting men and ultimately manifesting Mr. Right.
Stop putting off your chances of finding love.
Get in the game with the help of these 4 passionate dating and love coaches who want to help YOU understand men, master your attraction factor, and set the scene for romance. (On New Year’s Eve, you’ll thank us!)
Tuesday, September 7
6:30pm Pacific | 9:30pm Eastern
How to Become A Man Magnet
With Love Experts Lisa Steadman, Lois Barth, and Robyn Vogel
Wednesday, September 8
6:00pm Pacific | 9:00pm Eastern
Understanding the Manimals
With Lisa Steadman and Marni Battista of DatingWithDignity.com
To register for these FREE calls, enter your information below.
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Start your search for love this September on the right foot with these 2 calls featuring 4 amazing experts who want to help YOU find love!
Feeling lost when it comes to love?
Submitted by Lisa Steadman on August 10, 2010 - 7:03 am
Now that you know the signs you’re hung up on What could have been, how to STOP feeling like a failure at love, and how to END your suffering for wasting too much time with Mr. Wrong, it’s time to get some serious clarity.
It’s time to stop feeling lost when it comes to finding Mr. Right.
Let’s get your internal compass working again!
First, let’s determine where you got lost in the first place.
If you spent most of your last relationship catering to your ex’s every need, don’t beat yourself up for being too accommodating. Celebrate the fact that you’ve got a lot of love to give. Moving forward, why not put all of that amazing love and attention on your own interests, your own needs, your own self nurturing? That way, you’ll never again get lost in a relationship, living solely for the purpose of helping your partner get everything they want and need, all the while feeling suffocated, isolated, and/or under-appreciated.
Truthfully, in a healthy and happy relationship, wants and needs are a two-way street. You take care of yourself AND your partner, and vice versa.
Starting right now, ask yourself what it would FEEL like to get your needs met.
Imagine how your life would improve if Mr. Right was there for you.
It’s possible. First, you have to connect to how healthy and happy love looks and feels. Define it. Meditate on it. Journal about it.
CONNECT to it regularly so you’ll be able to recognize it when it shows up in your life.
Then when it shows up and you recognize it, don’t run the other way. Celebrate the fact that you’re a powerful manifester.
And embrace the fact that you are not lost nor are you a loser at love. You are right on time for YOUR happily ever after.
Stay tuned for more tips on how to set yourself free from dating drama and disappointment.
And if you’re REALLY ready to do what it takes to find Mr. Right, enroll in my FREE 30 Day Get Out There Challenge.
Pick up my man-ifesto for meeting Mr. Right: If He’s Not The One, Who Is?: What Went Wrong – and What It Takes to Find Mr. Right, available on Amazon and in bookstores.
For added support, join my Facebook Fan page here:
http://www.facebook.com/LisaSteadmanFans
Love that! In the meantime, focus all that love and attention on Y-O-U.
Feel like you wasted years with Mr. Wrong?
Submitted by Lisa Steadman on August 8, 2010 - 7:55 am
Be honest…
When you look in the rearview mirror of your last relationship, do you:
A. Kick yourself for staying too long
B. Feel like you wasted weeks, months, years of your life that you’ll never get back
C. Worry that your ex still has time to get everything he wants, but it’s too late for you
D. All of the above
Whether you chose A., B., C., or D., the good news is that it’s never too late to be true to yourself.
Did you stay longer than you should have in the wrong relationship? Maybe. But you probably still had lessons to learn. Can you recoup those so-called wasted weeks, months, years? Not literally, but cosmically, yes.
How?
By learning your lessons, promising to never again repeat patterns and habits that no longer work for you, and by remaining consistently committed to your amazing future. If you commit to your successful future, you will never again waste time on the wrong guy.
First, you must commit to doing the following:
1. Make your list of relationship wants, needs, and requirements so you’re crystal clear about what you do and don’t want
2. Become a red flag specialist who never again ignores all the signs that Mr. Wrong is NOT The One
3. Trust that Mr. Right is out there for you and don’t get unnecessarily sidelined by men who don’t match his description
4. Create a life you love so that you’re not waiting around for some guy to rescue you
5. Let go of unhealthy baggage that’s stifling you and keeping Mr. Right away
Can you see how getting hung up on the time you may have wasted with Mr. Wrong only keeps you stuck? Give yourself permission to set yourself free and move on — for good!
Stay tuned for more tips on how to set yourself free from dating drama and disappointment.
If you’re ready to do what it takes to find Mr. Right, enroll in my FREE 30 Day Get Out There Challenge.
And be sure to pick up my man-ifesto for meeting Mr. Right: If He’s Not The One, Who Is?: What Went Wrong – and What It Takes to Find Mr. Right, available on Amazon and in bookstores.
For added support, join my Facebook Fan page here:
http://www.facebook.com/LisaSteadmanFans
Do you feel like a failure at love?
Submitted by Lisa Steadman on August 6, 2010 - 6:47 am
One of the biggest signs that you’re not yet ready to find Mr. Right is that you’re stuck in the trap of “What could have been.” Specifically, you’ve fallen into the nasty trap of believing your ex was The One, and without him, you’re doomed.
Sound familiar?
Here’s another common trap I see women fall into…
They feel like a bit, fat failure at love.
When you look back at past relationships and see that the only two common denominators are you and the fact that the relationship ended, it’s easy to fall into the false assumption that you must be a failure at love. And while it’s true that you participated in each and every one of those past relationships, it’s also true that there was something about each of those relationships that worked for you at the time. On some level (emotionally, spiritually, sexually, etc.), you got something out of it. And you stayed because that need was being fulfilled.
The truth is, you are not a failure at love.
If you apply the lessons you’re learning from past relationships to your future, you’ll never again repeat those same issues, patterns, and mistakes. In fact, if you apply the Goldilocks principle to your next relationship, learning from what did and didn’t work in the past, you may even get it “just right” next time!
The key is to learn from the past, make the decision to stop repeating the same mistakes over and over in relationship after relationship, and choose better next time.
How can you learn from past relationship mistakes and STOP feeling like a failure at love?
Stay tuned for more tips on how to set yourself free from dating drama and disappointment.
And if you’re REALLY ready to do what it takes to find Mr. Right, enroll in my FREE 30 Day Get Out There Challenge.
Pick up my man-ifesto for meeting Mr. Right: If He’s Not The One, Who Is?: What Went Wrong – and What It Takes to Find Mr. Right, available on Amazon and in bookstores.
For added support, join my Facebook Fan page here:
http://www.facebook.com/LisaSteadmanFans
Lakeshia Ekeigwe on The Truth About Being Single
Submitted by Lakeshia Ekeigwe on June 27, 2010 - 7:20 am
When Lisa invited me to participate in her 30 Day Get Out There Challenge, I gladly accepted. I love sharing the truth about being single with single women everywhere. And the truth is…
You’ve been lied to.
How have you been lied to?
- The lie that you are supposed to love being single, and that something is wrong with you if you do not accept and embrace your single life just the way it is.
- The lie that you are lacking in self-love and self-esteem if you know you would rather be married than single.
- The lie that “the universe” may intend for you to be single so that you can accomplish great things.
- The lie that lust and/or money can replace love.
- The lie that you are “too picky.”
These were just some of the lies I heard when I was single, and I was sick and tired of them.
The circumstance of being single, when you would rather be married, just does not feel good. If it did, a whole lot of reality TV and ALL of the online dating services would cease to exist.
Would you like to know the truth?
The truth is you are inclined to being mated.
The truth is you are inclined to sharing your life with someone.
The truth is you are inclined to love.
The truth is you are not supposed to be single.
The truth is in your biology.
Yes, the truth is in your biology! Every 28 days or so, women are physically, hormonally and emotionally, either preparing to menstruate, menstruating or recovering from menstruation. What is the sole purpose of the menstrual cycle? To reproduce. What does it take to reproduce? A man.
We are instinctively drawn to being mated because the continuation of the human race depends on it. That is it. That is the biological truth about being single. You are not supposed to be.
So, you want a partner for life. You want to be married. Well guess what, that is precisely how you should feel.
Unfortunately, single women have been made to appear bitter, stupid and foolish for even thinking that their lives would be better in a happy, loving marriage. But, take a moment to think about it, does it not make perfect sense that you would prefer to join in the most basic ebb and flow of humanity from the beginning of time — that of having a mate and creating a family.
Want more of the truth? Good, I have more.
It is okay to feel that being single is not how you thought your life would be.
It is okay to feel that you would be happier married.
It is okay to know that you would feel complete – yeah, I said it; “complete” meaning NOTHING is missing – with a partner to share your life with.
It is okay to have very high expectations of the man you will share your life with. In fact, his wonderfulness should mirror yours.
It is okay to refuse to settle for less!
How will this information help you “find Mr. Right”? Well, hopefully you are now liberated from old beliefs that were confusing and self-defeating, eliminating some pressure. You no longer need to defend and justify your singleness! That said, you can now shout from the rooftops – I WANT TO GET MARRIED! - and enjoy the journey to finding your Mr. Right who will shout that out right back to you!
About the Expert
Lakeshia Rivers Ekeigwe is a Personal Development Coach and co-author of the book The Truth About Being Single. She works with individual clients and groups, facilitating classes and webinars designed to help people live the lives they want as they deepen their self-awareness and build greater self-esteem. She can be found at www.thetruthaboutbeingsingle.com and www.coachkesh.com.
Relationship Red Flags: Three things you must know by Jennifer Gauvain, MSW, LCSW
Submitted by Lisa Steadman on June 26, 2010 - 6:56 am
Earlier in my 30 Day Get Out There Challenge, I introduced you to Jennifer Gauvain, co-author of the fabulous new book How Not to Marry the Wrong Guy: Is He the One or Should You Run? I’m thrilled to share Jennifer’s amazing insight into relationship red flags and how to stop ignoring them.
As you continue dating and meeting men during and after Lisa’s 30 Day Challenge, I want you to keep something in mind. When it comes to relationship red flags, there are three things you must know:
1. You can’t ignore them.
2. They are different for everyone.
3. Your gut feelings help you recognize them.
Let’s be honest. We all know what red flags in relationships are. They are seriously unappealing or problematic actions, attitudes and behaviors exhibited by your partner. We’ve seen countless articles detailing red flag after red flag. The problem is that while we recognize them, we often choose to ignore them.
My friend Jincey dated a guy who was 38 years old and lived with his mother. “I knew that was a red flag, but I ignored it,” she says. “One night, not too long after we started dating, we went back to his mom’s house to watch TV. He stripped down totally naked and sat on the couch. His mom brought us snacks and he just sat there. She cleaned up and ignored the fact he was naked. He must have done it all the time!” So what’s wrong with watching TV naked? Jincey said the real problem was his child-like dependence on his mother. Guess what? She married him anyway and it didn’t end well. “He could barely take care of himself and was terrible with money. He had a hard time keeping a job. He was sweet, but so irresponsible. He didn’t want a wife, he wanted another mommy.”
She would have saved herself a lot of heartache—and money—if she had paid attention to the irresponsibility red flag that was flying from the very beginning. “I just wanted the relationship to work out,” says Jincey. “I was tired of being alone.”
The other often misunderstood fact about red flags is that they are different for everyone. Jealousy, meanness, and avoidance are common red flags. And while it’s important to be aware of these red flags, a one-size-fits-all list doesn’t address your gut feelings. A-life-of the-party-girl may see extreme shyness as a red flag in a potential mate. Or a sports fanatic female may be turned off by a guy who dislikes sports. Or….maybe she won’t. Everyone’s different. So how do you know what a red flag is for you? Your gut will tell you. Or that little voice in your head will start to speak up and point out a potential problem in your relationship.
Katie, a 27 year old teacher, confesses that she is stuck in a relationship with the wrong guy. He’s a nice guy, but there are several red flags that are stirring up her gut feelings. “He sees the world as a sea of options, and has a hard time deciding what he wants to do,” she says. “Then, when he decides on something, he has a hard time sticking with it. That’s a red flag to me. And my gut questions his ability to help any family we might have someday. He also seems to care more about his adventures and his life than he does my own. It makes me think that he won’t be there for the important milestones in my life.”
Katie’s inner wisdom recognizes these red flags. Let’s hope she find the courage to take action. Here are some things to think about to make sure you can recognize red flags, and more importantly, not ignore them:
• When his behavior bothers you, pay attention. Is the little voice in your head trying to warn you about something? Don’t look the other way! Think about the behavior that concerns you and reflect on it.
• Ask yourself if you are changing your behavior in response to your boyfriend or partner’s behavior. Are you walking on egg shells? Are you avoiding difficult conversations? If you do try to talk about something, how does he react?
• Fast forward ten years. How will this particular behavior or attitude play out in the future? Will he be a good dad? A good friend? A solid employee? A reliable husband?
When it comes to red flags, what you see now is what you get later. Once you train yourself to recognize—and act on—the red flags in your relationships, you are on your way to a happier, more satisfying life. The choice is yours!
About The Expert
Jennifer Gauvain is the co-author of How Not to Marry the Wrong Guy: Is He the One or Should You Run? (Broadway/Random House, May 2010). She is a marriage and family therapist with clients around the country. For more information visit her website at coldfeetpress.com.
Eris Huemer on 30 Of the Best Places to Meet Men
Submitted by Lisa Steadman on June 25, 2010 - 6:00 am
Here’s another gem of brilliance from my friend and dating coach Eris Huemer. 30 best places to meet men? Sounds like another 30 day challenge to me! 
You might be asking, “Where are all of the single fish in the sea?’
One of the Greatest Relationship Secrets that you must know now is: EVERYWHERE!
One of the greatest relationship myths is that “All the good guys are taken.”
In fact, the fact is that 44% of adult Americans are single, which means there are over 100 million unattached men and women. So, there have got to be some good – even GREAT – men out there.
So, the burning question on your lips right now is, “Where do I find these men?”
The answer is – OUTSIDE!
Yes, I said OUTSIDE. And, he’s looking for you.
That means he’s not in your home or hiding under your bed. And, he probably won’t be the mailman knocking on your door tomorrow morning. He’s out in the world, living his life, hunting for you.
That means that you need to start going out and about if you want to find your man.
As you probably know, attracting a relationship can be enjoyable but sometimes challenging. That’s why, if you want to attract the relationship that you want and deserve, you have to go where people gather.
But, before you start your quest you must know these 2 things:
1. What kind of a mate do you want to attract in your life? Write a list and be specific.
2. What hobbies do you enjoy? What hobbies do you want your mate to enjoy?
Write these things down and then begin to take on the perspective of men are everywhere. Remember the song “It’s raining men! Hallelujah!” Well, sing it and believe it.
After all, it’s all about perspective.
If you believe that all of the good men are taken. Then, you will attract all of the good men who are taken.
If you know that there are plenty of single, great fish in the sea, then that’s what you will attract.
Which perspective would you like to try on?
If you are ready to go out and attract the relationship that you want and deserve, I have scouted 30 of the top locations men can be found…
The Internet
Volunteering
The Apple store
A Fortune 500 or tech company
The weight room in the gym
A political rally or campaign
Sports Bar on a Sunday or Monday night
A volleyball league
A rock-climbing center
A steak house
Seminars
Business conferences
Baseball Diamonds
Restaurant Bar
Hotel Lounge
Polo Games
Golf Tournaments
Networking Events
Home Depot/Lowes
Singles groups
Grocery Store
Gas Station
Gallery Openings
Book Store
Best Buy
Airport
Work Functions
The Mall
Museums
The Beach
And the list goes on…
Do you get my drift? Men are everywhere.
There are many great men looking to attract the women of their dreams. I suggest that you go fishing and catch your mate.
Let me know how it goes. And keep rocking Lisa’s 30 Day Get Out There Challenge!
About The Expert
Eris Huemer, M.A., is an internationally sought after relationship counselor and coach, author, speaker and CEO of SIRE Enterprises, who specializes in doing Love Makeovers with singles and couples. She can be found at http://loveeris.com/
First Decide Whether You Like Him by Bobbi Palmer
Submitted by Lisa Steadman on June 19, 2010 - 9:55 am
OK, I loved Bobbi Palmer’s advice so much that I asked her to dole out some more nuggets of dating wisdom! This time, she’s putting her own spin on my Become The Chooser video. Enjoy!
It’s pathetic how easily I can find my self acting like the insecure kid I was in high school. These days it doesn’t come up too much, but can happen when I meet someone I especially like and admire, and get the sense they don’t return the feeling. I can get to feeling so hurt and undeserving that I turn into a withdrawn ball of mush.
Sometimes it’s hard to ignore these feelings; real or not. Whether you’re 18 or over 58 rejection feels like crap. Over the years it’s caused me real pain. But there’s a difference between when it happened in high school and when it happens now. Now I’ve learned some life skills that help me through it. I have a conscious conversation with myself that goes something like this:
Stop! You’re acting like a high school girl. That woman has shown no clear signs that she doesn’t like or respect you. It’s all in your head. You’re being insecure. Just be your terrific self. There’s no reason she shouldn’t like you.
I try to drop myself back in reality, and be kind to myself. It almost always works.
This was definitely a pattern for me as I started dating and looking for love. When I’d meet a single man it only took me about 5 minutes to start trying to figure out if he liked me. Until I had that answer — or at least thought I had the answer — I was stuck in my head. The chatter was often overwhelming, and not just during the date. It lasted well after it was over. Looking back, I’m sure it affected how I acted when I met men, and it probably cost me some good dating action.
Once I learned the “be real and be nice to yourself” self-talk tool it helped me a lot when I was dating. It would lower the voice of that chatter. But it wasn’t until I got the following brilliant nugget from my super talented therapist that my dating and love life really changed:
First, decide whether you like him.
What a concept! Do you like him? Is this a man you feel good being with? Does he seem to have the qualities you are looking for in a close companion or potential husband?
I never considered that question because I was so wrapped up in whether he liked me. Do I like him? Once I learned to ask this first, it turned out that I didn’t even need to have that whole other conversation with myself. Because if the answer was “no” the rest didn’t matter.
It took me a lot of time and money to learn this. It’s pretty simple, isn’t it? It honestly changed the way I looked at men and, surprisingly, it changed the way I thought about myself. Asking and answering this first kept me from wasting time and energy wondering if I was liked by someone I didn’t even like. More importantly, it forced me to think of myself first. What do I want? Does this man seem worthy of me? These were questions I hadn’t been asking myself. And they are the most important questions.
During Lisa’s 30 Day Get Out There Challenge, try it. Next time you go on a date or just meet an available man, ask yourself: Do I like him? Let me know if it changes your dating experiences like it did mine.
About The Expert
Bobbi Palmer is a dating and relationship coach, speaker, blogger, and author helping smart, independent women find meaningful love while enjoying the dating along the way. (She should know…she followed her own advice and married the man of her dreams at 47!) You can read her blog and take her Man-O-Meter Test at http://datelikeagrownup.com.
Eris Huemer on “Are All Men Jerks?”
Submitted by Lisa Steadman on June 16, 2010 - 6:00 am
Are you at the point in your life where you say to yourself, “All Men Are Jerks!”?
One of the things that I hear my women clients (and gay male friends) say over and over again when they first come to me is:
“Where have all of the good men gone?”
Or, “All of the good guys are taken!”
Do you have a history of dating the same “Mr. Wrongs” over and over again?
Do you seem to repeat the same issues in relationships time and time again?
If so, then it’s easy to believe that ALL MEN ARE JERKS.
The truth is that all men are NOT TAKEN and NOT EVERY ONE IS A JERK.
As you continue rocking Lisa’s 30 Day Get Out There Challenge, I invite you to change your beliefs about men.
Of course there are some situations where the man is not on his “best behavior.” So, why were you with him in the first place? And even more importantly – why did you stay?
The question for you is: what are you doing in your relationships that attract the same men and situations over and over again? What is it in you that you need to heal? See, it’s not all about him and what he is doing or has done.
IT REALLY IS ALL ABOUT YOU.
Thinking that all men are jerks is a limiting belief on love.
More limiting beliefs about love are:
* All men cheat. They can’t be trusted.
* All good men are taken/married.
* I don’t deserve love.
* There is no love for me.
* I am unlovable.
* I don’t deserve to be loved.
* Love doesn’t really exist or last.
* Who would want me? I’m too old, fat, unattractive…
* I’m too busy to date.
* Love is pain, so I don’t want it
I suggest that you change your negative thinking and know that there are great guys (and girls) out there. Shift your Limited Beliefs on love to Unlimited Beliefs about the Abundance of love.
A few common examples are:
* There are faithful and committed men. They can be trusted.
* There are many available men.
* I deserve love.
* I have so much to offer a mate!
* Men are constantly asking me out on a date.
* It’s never too late for love.
* There is such thing as love and I embrace it in my life.
* There is enough time in the day for me to date.
* Love is joyful because I get to grow and become more of my best self.
* I create love in my life everyday.
* I am always connected to a power that is greater than me (whatever it is me) to attract me to the relationship of my highest & best good.
Now it’s your turn.
What are your new Unlimiting Beliefs about the Abundance of love?
So, the answer to the first question is: The good men have gone nowhere.
Its up to you to get yourself out there and find him!
About The Expert
Eris Huemer, M.A., is an internationally sought after relationship counselor and coach, author, speaker and CEO of SIRE Enterprises, who specializes in doing Love Makeovers with singles and couples. She can be found at http://loveeris.com/
Marni Battista on How to Have Great Conversation on Your Next Date
Submitted by Lisa Steadman on June 13, 2010 - 6:18 am
Typically, when men are with men, they will discuss what they are making, fixing or achieving. Remember, while men are clearly no longer living in caves bringing back the kill, they are still stimulated by discussing topics related to competition, adventure, and achievement. As a result, men typically enjoy discussing sports, video games, fast cars, and those things that have an element of danger. It is in talking about these things that they are able to raise levels of a chemical in their brain called dopamine. When men experience appropriate dopamine levels they are fulfilled, have energy, and need to spend less time in the “man cave.” In addition, men are traditionally more focused on the bottom line, in that they want to know how to resolve a situation. As a result, they are less interested in the complexity of a situation, and only want to know the essential information. Thus, men would most likely synthesize the incident, break it into small pieces, and then focus on a possible resolution.
Conversely, in a similar situation, a group of women might spend hours discussing the details and complexity of a scenario. Women will breakdown how it happened, crave elaborate details about who was involved and what each person was possibly thinking, and then begin to discuss a myriad of possible solutions, elaborating on the pros and cons of each possibility. According to Georgetown University Professor of Linguistics, Deborah Tannen, men and women’s differing approaches to conversation begin in childhood. Tannen states that as children, girls on the playground will choose to sit in small groups and talk whereas boys choose to play in larger activity-based groups. In addition, Tannen points out that men typically use conversation to show or maintain status. Women, however, want to remain the same during conversation and use words such as “maybe we could,” or “is there any way we could,” as to not appear to aggressive.
That said, how does this effect conversation on a date? Here are a few guidelines:
1. Engage men by asking them about things that get them excited. Does he like motorcycles? Drive one? Hope to race one someday? What cool adventures has he had? Get him to tell you about the trip he took with his buddies to Pakistan. Or how he went fishing in the snake river. Did he risk life and limb hiking in the Grand Canyon during an unexpected snowstorm. Watch as his eyes light up, recounting the details of his adventure. What’s more, you get to see what things get him excited. Don’t dive into the details though, pressing him for specifics. Ask how it turned out, allowing him to get to the exciting finale without too much delay.
2. As a women, make an effort to bring your feminine energy to the date. Stay away from a typically male conversation style in which you appear to “one-up” your date. He went to Pakistan? Don’t then, tell the story of how you went to Morocco and suffered far more than he did, enduring sweltering heat and far more horrid conditions. Instead, tell the story, focus on why it was memorable. Let him know that you enjoy adventure. Share details, but don’t linger too long. Remember, men can get lost in detail. Keep him interested. Move to the resolution of the story efficiently.
3. Mix up the type of dates you plan. While sitting in a restaurant conversing is quite comfortable and best matches the conversational style of a woman, remember that men like activity. Go bowling. Take a hike. Drive the bumper cars. Provide opportunities for the man to engage in conversation while he is active. It will raise his dopamine levels, thus keeping him interested and focused on you.
4. Ask questions. Women love to be with men who are interested in details, activelisteners and don’t always try to “fix” a problem or situation she is describing. Because men are solution-oriented, however, they often want to cut to the chase, provide the solution and be heroic (Heroics raise men’s dopamine levels, making them feel good, but it mostly just makes a woman feel like you want her to stop talking if she hasn’t asked you for your opinion yet.) Part of listening is merely being a receptive container for the other person’s thoughts and feelings. Believing that is your job to provide a ”fix” can often a disservice to the person who is talking. Just listen. Be present and ask questions when appropriate. Be compassionate and empathetic. If she asks for advice, lend your opinion. If she doesn’t ask, then ask her directly if she wants your take on the situation. If not, be supportive. Give a hug if appropriate, and let her know you care.
It is imperative to remember that men and women’s conversational styles are different. Be confident, and most importantly, don’t personalize each thing that your date says. Instead, a date is the perfect opportunity to practice engaging in “curious conversation,” an interaction in which listening is often more important than talking.
See if you can use some of these conversation tools during Lisa’s 30 Day Challenge. Good luck!
About The Expert
Marni Battista is the founder of DatingWithDignity.com. She gives advice, tips and scripts nearly every day on her website, teaches workshops, holds AMAZING, powerful group coaching classes, hosts mixers and works with clients one-on-one.
