You don't have to be heartbroken to get it.

In the search for love, it’s easy to get sidetracked by bad dates, broken hearts, and bad love habits. And while bad dates and broken hearts are part of the journey toward happily ever after, bad love habits can and should be avoided at all costs.

So what’s a bad love habit? Any dysfunctional, destructive, difficult notion you have about love and relationships is a bad love habit. The following are some common ones:

□ Do you choose potential partners who are incapable of meeting your emotional needs?

□ Do you think love have to be difficult, painful, and/or hard?

□ Do you think your potential partner is going to fix whatever it is that you don’t like about yourself or your life?

□ Do you believe time is running out on your search for love and/or your chance to have children?

The following are some simple and effective ways to kick any bad love habit:

Asess your excess baggage
First, it’s important to get honest with yourself about what you might be lugging around with you on dates. What are you holding onto that no longer serves you? Rejection, disappointment, betrayal? This is from your past, not your present or future. It’s probably time to let go of that excess baggage.

Dump your excess baggage
In order to have a happily ever after future, you have to first believe you deserve one. Gather those painful memories, that chip on your shoulder, any residual anger from past relationship experiences, and tell them they’ve got to go. Thank them for the lessons you’ve learned and tell them that it’s now time for you to stand on your own 2 feet. In your mind’s eye, give them the heave ho!

Stop putting off your life and/or personal happiness
So many of us put off personal happiness waiting for some external result like “I’ll be happy when I lose weight, when I pay off my debts, when I get a better job,” etc. The truth is, you deserve to enjoy your fabulously imperfect life right this very minute! When you stop putting off happiness, you start attracting happy people, healthy relationships, exciting opportunities. Instead of postponing joy until something external happens, celebrate joy in your everyday life.

Embrace a new dating vocabulary
Now that you’re baggage light, it’s time to introduce a new vocabulary to your dating belief system. Every morning and night for 30 days, practice the following exercise: Say to yourself “Love/dating/my ideal relationship is ____.” And then fill in the blank with the appropriate words. (Words like healthy, whole, loving, fun, etc.) By creating a new vocabulary for yourself, you may be surprised at how your outlook on dating and relationships changes too, and as a result, you may start attracting happier and healthier potential partners.

Want more info on breaking free of bad love habits? Click here.

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Lisa Steadman, a.k.a. The Relationship Journalist™ is the creator and editor of BreakupChronicles.com. She's also the author of "It's a Breakup, Not a Breakdown."

Got a killer idea that’s keeping you up at night? Want to know how to turn your expertise into a book? Join me tonight for a free teleseminar/webinar on how to turn your killer idea into a published book. We’ll cover the following:

- How to write a nonfiction book proposal
- The importance of a platform
- How to find an agent
- How to attract the attention of publishers
- How to promote your book once it’s published

If you’re passionate about your nonfiction book idea, don’t let another year go by without pursuing your dream of getting published. This is your year to bring that dream to life!

Click here to listen and/or submit questions.

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Lisa Steadman, a.k.a. The Relationship Journalist™ is the creator and editor of BreakupChronicles.com. She's also the author of "It's a Breakup, Not a Breakdown."

Not too long ago, I wrote a post about taking a first trip with your new, potential big love.

I quoted a writer named Nadine Nardi Davidson who wrote a book called Travel with Others Without Wishing They’d Stayed Home. In it, she claims that couples are most likely to fight over money and expectations when they go traveling together.

I also questioned in that post just how long a couple should be together before they struck out and vacationed together. Well, apparently, now there is an answer to that question. A recent online survey quizzed readers on the topic. And voting is still open if you’d like offer up your two cents.

But so far, the winning response, out of a 1517 polled, is that a couple should be together for 4 - 6 months before they plan a trip together. At the time of this posting, 423 people had said so.

But the online poll isn’t really want I wanted to write about today. The poll was actually created in response to an article published online at the Globe and Mail about a new cultural phenomena called “holidating.”

Holidating happens when a new couple goes away on a trip together. According to this article, more and more couples are heading out on holidates on as soon as the third date. So popular has the trend become that hotel chains have caught on and are now offering holidating packages. For example, one hotel has come up with a deal in which a couple can reserve two adjoining hotel rooms, but if they end up only using one of the rooms, they will get a partial refund on the unused sheets!

Whether you’re close to planning a holidate or not, perhaps its comforting to know you’re not the only one out there contemplating this new relationship milestone.

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Kelly Westhoff is a writer and editor from Minnesota who firmly believes in the transformational power of travel. She has survived a cockroach attack in Guatemala, the plucking of her leg hairs in Vietnam and too many dubious bathroom situations to ever count. See more of her work at KellyWesthoff.com.

If you’re healing and moving on after a breakup (or know someone who is), don’t miss out on tonight’s free webinar for breakup survivors. Here are the deets:

Thursday, March 20th at 6:30pm Pacific
Listen online or by phone

Webinar description
Instead of just surviving your breakup, how about thriving? It’s absolutely possible! Join me for this unique webinar where I’ll let you in on 30 tips for surviving and thriving after a breakup, based on tips from my book It’s A Breakup, Not A Breakdown as well as some all-new tips. Here’s a sneak peek what you’ll discover:

- Remove all evidence of your ex (both online and off)
- Get a support system, a.k.a. Your Boo-Hoo Crew
- Give your bedroom a makeover
- Allow yourself time to feel the pain, a.k.a. celebrate your slump
- Create your fabulous factor list to remind yourself of why you’re better off without your ex

I hope you’ll join me for this empowering online event! And feel free to forward to friends who you think might enjoy the event as well.

Got questions? Submit them here. I’ll answer all questions during the webinar. PLUS, I’m offering two more amazing webinars in April. Check the coaching calendar for details.

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Lisa Steadman, a.k.a. The Relationship Journalist™ is the creator and editor of BreakupChronicles.com. She's also the author of "It's a Breakup, Not a Breakdown."

If this doesn’t make you think twice about the importance of a prenup, I don’t know what will…

In a landmark decision, a Chicago judge has ordered an energy magnate to pay his ex wife $184 million.  That’s half of his estimated fortune.  And while he won’t be hurting for money, that’s still a sizable loss.  I’m not disputing that the ex-wife doesn’t deserve some of the man’s fortune.  After all, they were married in 1975 in the Ukraine and emigrated to this country with very little to their name.  He was a self-made man and she obviously helped nurture and support him throughout the last 30 years.  But to get half of his fortune?  To me, that seems ludicrous.

And it brings me back to why I think prenups are so important for everyone.  Whether you’re rich, poor, on the way up, on the way down, whatever.  A prenup is merely a safety precaution in case of emergency.  Signing one before you get married ensures that everyone is on the same page.  It ultimately protects both parties so that in the event of an unhappy ending, things are settled fairly.  And no, I don’t believe signing a prenup means you’re unromantic or see the end in sight. Actually, it’s quite the opposite.

When Mr. XY and I talk about our future, we both agree about a prenup.  In our case, we both come into the relationship with assets that need to be protected, not just for ourselves but for our extended families.  Signing a prenup is our way of saying Not only am I am madly in love with you and want to spend my life with you, but I’m coming into the relationship with a level head that’s to both of our benefit.

What are your thoughts about a prenup?  Share them here.

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Lisa Steadman, a.k.a. The Relationship Journalist™ is the creator and editor of BreakupChronicles.com. She's also the author of "It's a Breakup, Not a Breakdown."

According to the tabloids Jennifer Aniston has a new man, hunky British model Paul Sculfor. But here’s what I really like about Jennifer Aniston. Unlike a lot of today’s starlets (and regular folk), she doesn’t jump from relationship to relationship. In fact, she’s a breakup rock star in my book, taking time off between relationships to heal, work on herself, and move on. No rebounding, revenge, or other ridiculous post-breakup behavior necessary. And that totally rocks!

Going through a breakup and wondering if you should rebound or take time to heal? Here are the top five reasons why I think time between boyfriends rocks…

Time and space to be on your own and heal without the distraction of a new man/rebound

The chance to reconnect with your girlfriends who always help you heal and will remind you why your ex isn’t worth pining over

The opportunity to get to know yourself and what you want out of your fabulous future (a career switch, go back to school, move to a new city?)

The chance to be selfish and pursue personal passions (enroll in a new class, take a vacation, rediscover an old hobby)

Time and space to figure out what you want from your next relationship and eventually, the opportunity to meet someone new and fall head over heels in healthy, whole love

Kudos to Ms. Aniston, today’s breakup rock star!

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Lisa Steadman, a.k.a. The Relationship Journalist™ is the creator and editor of BreakupChronicles.com. She's also the author of "It's a Breakup, Not a Breakdown."

Earlier this week, I asked the question - is jail rock bottom for Paris?

With her early release due to a prison rash and emotional distress after just 52 hours, I’m left wondering - what’s it going to take for Hilty to wise up?

If the legal system refuses to make her accountable for her actions, what’s Paris going to do next? Somehow I doubt house arrest in her mansion’s gonna do the trick in turning her horrendous heiress ways around.

So what’s next? Pulling a Lizzie Grubman and plowing down pedestrians in the Hamptons this summer? Copying Lindsay Lohan and holding a knife to a drunken friend’s throat? Mimicking Nicole Richie and driving the wrong way on the 134? Or worse still, pulling a Paris and being completely oblivious to any consequence of any kind?

Stay tuned, my friends. Tomorrow will be an interesting - albeit ridiculous - news day.

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Lisa Steadman, a.k.a. The Relationship Journalist™ is the creator and editor of BreakupChronicles.com. She's also the author of "It's a Breakup, Not a Breakdown."

I missed Rosie’s last day on the air but I did catch up on the knock down, drag out fight with ”Poor Little Elizabeth” on YouTube.  Anyone else feel like this was the conversation they’d both been dying to have since Day 1?

Their on air drama reminded me of couples who are still in a relationship even though they know the breakup is unavoidable. The gloves come off. Cruel words fly. No more tolerating the other person. This is breakup war! And while it makes for great television, it makes me wonder what the last nine months have really been about. The minute Rosie arrived on The View, she and Elizabeth claimed to have the utmost respect for one another. They even spent time outside the show with each other’s children. Or was that just a load of crap?

I always felt like Elizabeth was that geeky girl in school who made friends with the bully not because she liked her but because it was easier than getting beat up every day. And Rosie acted like she knew it. She was the alpha, she ran the show, and out of pity she was kind to Poor Little Elizabeth.

Not anymore!

Their on-air feud had been brewing for some time. And Rosie was becoming more and more like a beligerant husband who barely tolerated good wife Elizabeth’s comments and behavior. Their explosive spat was like the last fight before both parties pack their bags and move out, the breakup finally erupting.

While I’m sorry Rosie won’t finish her time on The View, I think it’s for the best. Like the couple who breaks up and has regret for some of those horrible things said during the breakup, there are no take backs. Especially when all of America knows who said what and to whom.

Alas, Rosie is a single television personality again. And Elizabeth can go back to doing ridiculously enthusiastic segments about that disease that keeps her from eating wheat and what not. You can bet my morning ritual will change. No more 10 am date with Rosie and the gals.  Much as I love Joy Behar, her warmth and humor can’t overcompensate for Poor Little Elizabeth.

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Lisa Steadman, a.k.a. The Relationship Journalist™ is the creator and editor of BreakupChronicles.com. She's also the author of "It's a Breakup, Not a Breakdown."

Ah, the glamorous life of a recently-published author. The VIP treatment at swanky hotels, the jet-setting at someone else’s expense, the personal stylist. NOT.

Greetings from Orlando! I’m literally in town for 24 hours for my iVillage Live taping which happened this morning. I think things went really well but haven’t seen the actual broadcast so who knows? In any event, the folks at iVillage Live were fantastic. The crew, hosts, staff were all very welcoming and friendly which made my job - promoting my book in two segments about celebrity divorce and surviving divorce - so much easier.  And yes, they had fab hair and makeup people on set who redid my sorry attempt at made-for-TV glam. (Thanks, Ladies)

While I’m killing time waiting for my return flight, I thought I’d comment on the faux glamour of it all. Yes, I flew to Orlando to tape a tv show. And yes I stayed at the super swank Hard Rock Hotel complete with rock memorabilia at every turn. And yes, my book comes out this week. But that’s where the fabulous glamour ends. Yours truly footed the bill during my stay. This is what nobody tells you when you write a book - how much work and expense there is.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not complaining. I’m just exposing the reality of the sitch. I got up at 6 am this morning to workout (I’m a cranky beast if I don’t), do my own hair and makeup, iron (a first!) my clothes, and wait for the toothpaste the Concierge allegedly sent over last night.  Oh yes, and wait for the 7 am breakfast I ordered yesterday that didn’t arrive until after several phone calls around 7:45.

Have I become a diva overnight? Hardly. But this is hardly the VIP treatment. Maybe they provide a different level of service to guests who get the discounted production rate on their rooms. Who knows?

In any event, this soon-to-be published author knows better than to cop a ‘tude. I’m just grateful for the experience, even if the reality is less shiny than what you see on TV.

Now it’s back to LA and Mr. XY - a reality I can really dig.

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Lisa Steadman, a.k.a. The Relationship Journalist™ is the creator and editor of BreakupChronicles.com. She's also the author of "It's a Breakup, Not a Breakdown."