Your Guide to Taking (Calculated) Dating Risks in 2008
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Raise your hand if you’re looking for love (or at least dating success) in 2008. Go ahead — raise ‘em. Congratulations! You’re one step closer to achieving that success. And in an effort to maximize your dating and mating success in 2008, I want to talk about the importance of taking risks. No, I’m not talking about dating an ex-con, falling back into bed with your ex because so far nobody better has come along, or trying your hand at dating a married man. I’m talking about taking calculated dating risks, risks that get you out of your comfort zone and into target rich environments on a regular basis. By taking calculated risks, you exponentially increase your likelihood of dating and mating success. Read on for details.
Multi-tasking = multi-dating
Thankfully, gone are the days of sitting at home alone on a Saturday night, knitting, watching TV, eating Ben & Jerry’s, and wishing you had a date. In 2008, you’re going to put your natural born multitasking skills to work in the dating arena. Yes, you’re going to join an online dating site (or 10) and actively pursue potential matches. But you’re also going to get up from behind that computer, put on your most bootylicious jeans, and go out on Saturday nights with your girlfriends (in target rich environments no less!). You’re going to attend singles events on a regular basis this year, not to mention recruit your happily hooked up male and female friends to be on the lookout for a cutie for you. Plus, you’re going to start flirting with strangers on a regular basis (more on that later) so that you can get comfortable with your personal flirting style.
Target rich environments
Say it loud, say it proud — I will put myself in target rich environments as often as possible in 2008! Now repeat that mantra on a daily basis and be sure to follow it. What’s a target rich environment? Any location where plenty of potential partners, a.k.a. single men with shared interests can be found. Chances are, your living room doesn’t count. Neither does your car, your cubicle, or your book club. So where exactly do you encounter the kind of guy you could be into? Only you’ll know for sure but again, think about target rich environments in a calculated way. If you’re a culture junkie, try a museum on Saturday afternoon, that new jazz club on Friday night, or a fund-raising event for the arts. If you dig the outdoors, sign up for a sailing class, join the Sierra Club, or recruit your gal pals and have a picnic in a local park on Sunday afternoon. You get the idea. In 2008 it’s essential to get outside your comfort zone and into a target rich environment. ASAP!
Flirt with strangers
Let’s face it. Trolling the online dating sites on a Friday night is getting old. In 2008, you’re going to flirt with actual live human beings. On a regular basis, no less! Here’s how. In addition to going to work, the gym, and home each day, you’re going to find a way in your daily routine to talk to/flirt with a stranger. Sound scary? It’s not. Again, this is about calculated risk. I’m not asking you to approach a strange man in a dark parking lot at midnight by yourself. I’m asking you to take your self-imposed blinders off long enough to see that there are men everywhere. You heard me - everywhere! This is so easy for us to forget, but so unbelievably important to remind ourselves. Think about it. When you go to the grocery store, the bookstore, Starbucks, the dry cleaners, the gym, or even in the elevator at work, there are usually men there. They may not all be single men. They may not all be cute men. They may not all be interested in you. But plain and simple, they are men. And in order to attract somebody fabulous, you’ve got to get comfortable talking to the opposite sex, starting with the men in your everyday life. The next time you’re in an elevator, or waiting for the light to change at the corner, or picking out produce and there happens to be a man nearby, you’re going to strike up a conversation. It doesn’t have to be witty. It doesn’t even have to be flirty. It just has to kick start your practice of talking to the men in your everyday life. A simple Hi, Do you know what time it is?, or Beautiful day, isn’t it? will suffice. This isn’t rocket science. It’s calculated conversation. And you’re going to get good at it. Someday soon, you may even enjoy it!
Date more than one person at once
Right about now you may be thinking, But I can’t even find one person I want to date, let alone multiple partners! Here’s the deal. In 2008, you’re going to date like you’ve never dated before. You’re going to go on coffee dates, speed dates, blind dates, etc. And you’re not going to wait to see how you feel about one date before booking another with someone else. Dating is a numbers game and you’ve got to be in it to win it! So go ahead and say yes to that lunch date with the cute guy who works in your building while still making a coffee date with that cutie you met online. By juggling multiple dates, you not only get a lot of practice in but you also take the pressure off the importance of any one particular date. And that makes it easier to just sit back and enjoy them all.
Turn down your inner critic
Okay, you’re putting yourself out there in 2008. You’re multitasking and multi-dating with the best of them. There’s just one more risk you need to take, and that involves turning down the volume on your inner critic. Your inner critic is that evil awful voice that whispers in your ear throughout dates. It’s the one that points out all of the guy’s flaws and all of the reasons why he’s not right for you without considering his good qualities or the reasons why he might be great for you. TURN THAT VOICE DOWN. Right now. Trust me — this is not the same as ignoring red flags. In fact, by turning down the volume on your inner critic you’ll be better equipped to notice red flags because you’re not so distracted by the incessant negative chatter going through your head throughout your dates.
Now that you know the importance of taking calculated risks, your 2008 dating future looks promising. When in doubt, refer to this article. Always remember that dating is a numbers game, and in order to be successful you have to put yourself out there, actively participate, take calculated risks, and try to have fun.
Good luck and happy dating!
Lisa Steadman, a.k.a. The Relationship Journalist™ is the creator and editor of BreakupChronicles.com. She's also the author of "It's a Breakup, Not a Breakdown."
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