You don't have to be heartbroken to get it.

OK, I didn’t mean to take an almost 2-week break between blog posts. Needless to say, I’ve been busy. What have I been up to? Oh, the usual… (note the sarcasm)

Appearing on New Zealand TV
The morning I arrived at the hotel in New Zealand, I was too tired to do much of anything other than watch TV while I waited for Mr. XY to pick me up for lunch. I spent most of that time tuned in to New Zealand’s version of The Today Show called Good Morning. After finding my book at the local Borders (who knew I was international?), I e-mailed the show producers to see if they’d be interested in having me on the show. I got an e-mail a couple days later, and appeared on the show last Friday. It was so much fun! I absolutely loved meeting everyone involved and had a ball. I must’ve done okay because they’ve asked me to come back again before I return home. Woohoo!

Working on my book
I case I haven’t mentioned it before, I love, love, love writing books. And even though my deadline is tight, I’m still thoroughly enjoying the process of writing this book. It’s no coincidence that halfway through my book, in a chapter about reclaiming your space, I change my space. Talk about life imitating art! The fact that I get to write while looking out at the New Zealand harbor? Bonus!

Finding my perfect red wedding dress
I admit it. I wasn’t looking forward to finding a wedding dress. I just lack vision when it comes to these things. Plus, I’m a short curvy girl who has trouble finding clothes that fit. Regular stores are usually too small. Plus size, too big. What’s a Relationship Journalist to do? I ended up seeking out expert help in the form of Sophie Voon, an awesome New Zealand designer with her own boutique. While I wasn’t crazy about forking over thousands of dollars to get a custom-made wedding dress, if anyone was worthy of my hard-earned cash, it would be Sophie and her team. While their sample sizes didn’t quite fit, I knew I was in capable hands. Imagine my shock and awe when the shopgirl pulled out the most stunning red dress I’ve ever seen, the only one like it in the store, just arrived the day before, and in my size. I put it on and it fit like a glove. Not only that, I felt like a Princess bride. (Cue the music, bird chirping) I went in for a fitting today and with minimal changes, will have my beautiful, perfect, dreamy dress for my beautiful, perfect, dreamy wedding day by the end of the week.

Living the dream
Over lunch the other day, Mr. XY asked what I was going to do with my afternoon. He had to return to work. I told him I was going to the gym and then writing all afternoon. He turned to me, smiled, and said “Nice life.” And unlike the old Lisa who would have felt the need to apologize, I simply smiled and said “Yes, thank you.” The truth is, this is my dream life. I created it this way. I am so incredibly grateful and thrilled with the results. But this is the funny thing about dreams. Your life doesn’t magically take away all those old issues and baggage. With so much of my dream life in place, the parts that aren’t perfect are even more glaring. I jokingly ask myself all the time, “If this is my dream life why aren’t my thighs thinner and my wallet thicker?” I also know that the chronic neck and shoulder issues are a result of pursuing a dream life that revolves around a computer. Just this year, I’ve become aware that in order to be the absolute perfect partner for Mr. XY, I have some work to do. And for the first time in a long time, I’m back in therapy. I’m not screwed up. None of us are. I’m just in for a tune up because that’s what healthy and happy people do. They recognize when they need help, and they ask for it. I enjoy being able to help others and in turn, I absolutely must help myself. By taking an honest look in the mirror, I get that much closer to other areas of my dream life.

I guess you could say my trip down under has been more than just a life adventure. It’s been a soul adventure, too. Woohoo!

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Lisa Steadman, a.k.a. The Relationship Journalist™ is the creator and editor of BreakupChronicles.com. She's also the author of "It's a Breakup, Not a Breakdown."

Here are some things that are the same in any country…

Lattes: They may call them flat whites, but they still are absolutely delicious and my favorite way to wake up! Lucky for me, soy milk is also universal.

Breakups: Watching the local morning news, breakups have been a topic of conversation every day since I arrived. Maybe I’ll try to get on local TV. But I digress… What I love is that this proves breakups are universal. Rather than thinking at any given time you are the only one feeling the tremendous pain and agony of a broken heart, you’re not alone. If everyone else can get through it, so can you!

Sex & the City movie: The night before I flew to New Zealand, I took my girlfriends to see Sex & the City. It was a total Girls Night Out in the theater! I took Mr. XY to see the film a few nights ago here in Wellington and it was the same experience. Girlfriends going to the movies together. Love that!

The Gym: I’m kicking my own ass at the gym here. Strangely, I love it. That’s definitely different. What’s not changed is the fact that I make a million and one excuses NOT to workout before I give in and go.

My Writing: Same goes for my writing. A million excused followed by sitting down in front of a beautiful view of Wellington Harbor and W-R-I-T-I-N-G.

Gotta run. Need to shower and change before meeting Mr. XY and his colleagues for lunch. G’day!

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Lisa Steadman, a.k.a. The Relationship Journalist™ is the creator and editor of BreakupChronicles.com. She's also the author of "It's a Breakup, Not a Breakdown."

The very first breakup story I ever wrote was about the importance of traveling as a way to heal your heart. After my big breakup I went to Greece, hoping to get over Mr. Ex in a very Shirley Valentine way. What ended up happening is a different story. Mr. XY and I reconciled upon my return.

After our final breakup, I traveled to Montana for the summer, rediscovered who I really was, and changed my life forever. I even briefly wrote a blog entitled Single Gal On Safari chronicling my Montana adventures as a savvy single gal. Needless to say, I’m a big believer in the healing power of travel.

Now that there are no more breakups in my future, travel has other meanings. It fulfills my thirst for adventure, expands my mind and my comfort level, and is something that I happily share with my fellow adventure junkie Mr. XY. Which sort of explains why as I write this I’m staring out at a breathtaking view of the harbor in Wellington, New Zealand. Mr. XY is here on business and I’m here to finish my next book, The Breakup Workbook.

Surprisingly, being away from friends and family is tough. Trying to stick to my brand new food rotation diet to weed out food sensitivities is even tougher. Fortunately, we have a little kitchen in our hotel room which will make things easier. Needless to say, on Day #3 of my adventure, this not-so-single gal on safari feels out of her element. Thank God there’s no language barrier. I’d really be in trouble then!

I did discover a little piece of home earlier today when I found my book It’s A Breakup, Not A Breakdown at Borders. I had no idea my book was in other countries! Admittedly, I got a little choked up carrying my book to the register as I offered to autograph it. Tears were short lived, as the clerk told me not to sign the book until she’d looked it up to see if copies were selling well. I had to laugh — not even in cold hearted Los Angeles do they say that to your face. But I get it. If I sign the book and it doesn’t sell, they can’t return it. Fortunately for me, four copies of my book have sold in the last two weeks. Which is pretty good, considering the book’s been out for a year now. Maybe my royalty check won’t be so laughable next time. Here’s hoping…

Stay tuned for my ongoing adventures. For now, it’s back to the book writing. G’day, Mates!

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Lisa Steadman, a.k.a. The Relationship Journalist™ is the creator and editor of BreakupChronicles.com. She's also the author of "It's a Breakup, Not a Breakdown."

Men often joke about how women are much more social in the restroom than men are. Whereas men go in, do their business, and get out, women pee, gossip, put on makeup, and swap stories. We’re very communal in the restroom.

Recently, I was in the restroom at Mark Victor Hansen’s Mega Business weekend workshop chatting with a lovely woman about her desire to write a book. I gave her my card and said if she had any questions, she could email me. Part of what I do as owner of WooHoo Inc. is help people through the book proposal writing process. As she and I were exchanging cards, the woman next to us asked if she could have my card. She explained she wanted to write a book, too. I handed her my card, and her eyes widened and she started getting excited. She looked at me, incredulous, and said, “I read your book!” We both started laughing and squealing like schoolgirls, and she told me a little bit about her breakup.

Here’s what’s so amazing about that exchange. Outside of book signings and media events, I’ve never randomly met someone who read my book. It was a rewarding and beautiful experience.

But here’s what makes it even more amazing. Shelly, the woman who read my book, wants to write a book about her own breakup experiences. I can only hope that our bathroom encounter inspired her to move forward with her project. She hasn’t e-mailed me yet, but when she does I’m ready to help.

Networking in bathrooms? Just another reason why being a woman rocks.

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Lisa Steadman, a.k.a. The Relationship Journalist™ is the creator and editor of BreakupChronicles.com. She's also the author of "It's a Breakup, Not a Breakdown."

One of my very favorite people on the planet, Lani Voivod, spent the last 3 weeks in Malibu (they normally live in New Hampshire) with her family on a well-deserved vacay. I was lucky enough to spend several amazing days with her, her beautiful boys, and her fab husband. We went to the beach, hiked Topanga Canyon, enjoyed a luxurious meal at The Hump at the Santa Monica Airport, and even engaged in an evening of karaoke. This is the only woman who can get me to do karaoke.

Once upon a time, Lani and her hubby (then b.f.) lived in West L.A. The entire time I’ve known her, she’s been with the same guy. I can’t say the same for me. When I met Ms. L, I was in an unsatisfying relationship that had somehow last three years. When we broke up, Lani was the first person I recruited for my Boo-Hoo Crew. It was during this time that I moved into my first solo apartment, got my dream job writing about Barbie at Mattel, became a very successful single (dating, kissing, canoodling a variety of interesting and available men), and eventually met Mr. Ex, The One Who Rocked My World. That led to my Big Breakup, which Lani once again nurtured me through.

Eventually, she and her now-hubby and young son moved to the east coast. They launched a very successful business, Epiphanies, Inc., bought a home, had another baby. I quit my job, traveled the world, and eventually met Mr. XY. Through it all, my dear friend was my rock, my cheerleader, my Boo-Hoo Crew and then my Woo-Hoo Crew. And while we don’t talk as often as we used to, see each other as often as we’d like, I am constantly reminded of how instrumental my friend has been to my life. I wouldn’t be where I am today without her. I wouldn’t have learned to love myself, appreciate who I really am, and eventually met Mr. XY had I not known her. That’s a beautiful thing.

And while there are no more breakups in my future (what with wedding plans in full swing), I’m reminded of the importance of having a Boo-Hoo Crew. That core circle of support is essential to breakup recovery. Plus, just as you heal and move on, your Boo-Hoo Crew eventually graduates to your Woo-Hoo Crew, your lifelong friends who love and support you through thick and thin. Without them, your joys and success may seem empty. But with them, life is full of celebration and happiness.

And even though she’s taking a hiatus from online activity to raise her lovely children, I know that Ms. L is cosmically connected as I write this post. WooHoo!

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Lisa Steadman, a.k.a. The Relationship Journalist™ is the creator and editor of BreakupChronicles.com. She's also the author of "It's a Breakup, Not a Breakdown."

In case you missed the webinar on how to take your brilliant idea from inception to published book on Wednesday night, the webcast replay is now available. Enjoy!

I’m off to Mark Victor Hansen’s Mega Book Marketing University this weekend. I’m so excited! I look forward to meeting my fellow attendees as well as the presenters. I’m especially interested in introducing myself to Alex Mandossian, Internet marketing guru, and PR expert Rick Frishman. My agent Sharlene is one of the featured speakers so I can’t wait to see her as well!

Stay tuned — when I return I’ll be chock full of ideas, insights and new directions. WooHoo!

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Lisa Steadman, a.k.a. The Relationship Journalist™ is the creator and editor of BreakupChronicles.com. She's also the author of "It's a Breakup, Not a Breakdown."

Admittedly, I’ve been a bit of a flip flopper this primary season. Torn between a candidate with “tons of experience” and a maverick who dares to inspire a nation, it took me awhile to realize I was buying into the marketing hype behind their campaigns. My vote firmly cast for the candidate I believe holds the key to our promising future, I can now sit back, relax, and enjoy the show.

Enter Arianna Huffington, my all around idol and super savvy lady. Yesterday on HuffingtonPost.com, Arianna wrote about why independent voters and the media should break up with John McCain, the once straight-shooting, let-the-chips-fall-where-they-may maverick who is now basically a Bush conservative. I always say breakups apply to more than just romantic relationships. Arianna takes that theory and applies it to the political scene. Read the article here.

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Lisa Steadman, a.k.a. The Relationship Journalist™ is the creator and editor of BreakupChronicles.com. She's also the author of "It's a Breakup, Not a Breakdown."

Over the weekend, I participated in a book event at the Torrance Public Library. My friend Steve works for the public library system in Torrance and helped set the gig up through his coworker Dana (who is awesome!). Now, I’ll be perfectly honest. I didn’t know what to expect. I did very little event promotion myself, but thankfully Dana and his team did an amazing job promoting my appearance in the local paper, distributing flyers, and they even created a giant poster board with my photo and information on it that was propped up in the library. Needless to say, I was shocked when I arrived and found a full house waiting for me.

Here’s what I loved about this event. Not only did I get to share my experiences in writing this book as well as talking about my big breakup, but the incredibly diverse audience (men and women, young and aging gracefully) trusted me enough to share their experiences as well. And while everyone was at different stages of the breakup process, it was clear that most were ready to embrace the positive and healing aspects of breaking up. I came away feeling inspired by the stories people shared as well as the wonderful sense of community in the room. It really is an honor to be in the presence of such trust and generosity from an audience. I don’t take that lightly.

I’m still processing all of the amazing sharing that went on at the event. While most people shared their strong stories of waking up, breaking up, and moving on, there was one woman whose story still weighs on my mind. She was actually at the event with her ex and wanted to share how they were helping each other through their breakup. I’m not sure if she was challenging my position that you should distance yourself from your ex immediately following a breakup, or trying to get some insight from me about her decision to remain so close with her ex. My take was that she wasn’t ready to hear what I had to say. And that’s okay. The breakup seemed pretty fresh. And the ex seemed incredibly uncomfortable to be put on the spot. Since it’s not my style to publicly denounce or judge anyone’s breakup, I acknowledged their bravery in sharing their story and simply questioned how they might handle the following scenario: What’s going to happen when one of you starts dating again?

This is why you can’t stay friends with your ex, at least not right away. Having been there, done that, I know firsthand how painful it is to watch your ex move on without you. I hope I’m wrong in the case of the woman and her ex. But I seriously doubt it. For her sake, I hope she focuses on her own healing and recovery. In any event, my thoughts are with her.

After my presentation, I sold/signed a few books and enjoyed chatting one on one with many of the audience participants. It’s always fun for me to meet my virtual friends in person so I was especially excited when one of my MySpace friends Tonya came up afterwards and introduce herself. Tonya is an example of someone who’s doing everything right. After getting blindsided by her breakup last fall, Tonya focused her energies on healing her broken heart, got back in touch with who she is and what she enjoys (LOVE her quest to make new friends and take up volleyball!), and in the process launched her fabulous blog The Ambien Chronicles. She is a true success story and I’m so thrilled to know her!

All in all, a fabulous day. I hope everyone who attended came away with a sense that they are making progress in their movin’ on journey.

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Lisa Steadman, a.k.a. The Relationship Journalist™ is the creator and editor of BreakupChronicles.com. She's also the author of "It's a Breakup, Not a Breakdown."

Recently, I was approached by my friends at Post Haste Media, a small but feisty media company interested in creating a promotional online video campaign for my book It’s a Breakup, Not a Breakdown. We brainstormed all kinds of fun ideas geared towards promoting and selling my book. And while Rick and Tara are consummate pros, nothing quite gelled. None of the ideas really excited us. Then we came up with this idea — a video confessional chronicling the five stages of breakups based on the five stages of grief — denial, anger, bargaining, sadness, acceptance. We held a casting session, met tons of great actresses (and a few actors), and realized we were onto something. Each and every actor we met brought something unique, fresh, special to their audition. We recognized they were tapping into their own breakup history as well as the history of friends. It was an honor to witness.

That’s when we realized we didn’t need a script. We’d just let the actors do their thing. We just set up the camera (properly lit by the extraordinary cinematographer Alec D. Boehm), and sat back while the actors rode the wave of the five stages of breaking up. Real or made up, their stories are raw, exposed, beautiful, and emotional. The results are fantastic, thanks not only to the actors but to Tara’s perceptive direction and editing, as well as Rick’s producing and editing.

Without further ado, I present to you the breakup videos.

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Lisa Steadman, a.k.a. The Relationship Journalist™ is the creator and editor of BreakupChronicles.com. She's also the author of "It's a Breakup, Not a Breakdown."

For Christmas, my sister got us tickets to see Kathy Griffin at the Kodak Theatre. We’re both huge fans — her more than I only because she faithfully watches her on Bravo while I remain cable-free (although in my defense I did catch up with a My Life On The D List marathon on JetBlue while traveling this summer). But I digress…

Needless to say, Kathy did not disappoint. She started with Britney, touched on Obama and Hilary (While she commented on what a strong ticket they’d be together, I was surprised she didn’t mention my theory that if Obama gets the nomination and chooses Hilary as a running mate, he’d never get assassinated because nobody would want her to be in charge. I’m not picking sides — I still haven’t decided who to vote for!). By evening’s end, the fab Ms. G had worked her way through Jamie Lynn, Pam Anderson, those zany ladies on The View, plus the old school crazies Liza, Marie Osmond, and Lady O. Even from our nosebleed seats, we were in hysterics.

I was all the more excited when she started talking about her new squeeze, Apple cofounder Steve Wozniak. While the two might seem an odd match, I actually think they’re perfect for each other. She’s not after his money (and thankfully, he’s not after hers), and her zany, crazy celebrity life doesn’t faze him. You can imagine if she tried dating someone in the business how tricky that would get, what with her raw honesty and all. But with a guy like Steve, she’s footloose and fancy free to be her fabulous self. And vice versa. Love that!

I’m thinking Steve could be Kathy’s Mr. XY, i.e. her perfect partner. He digs her for exactly who she is and she doesn’t mind that he’s a billionaire techie geek who drives a Prius, lives in the house he grew up in, talks like a computer, and takes her to Bob’s Big Boy on Riverside Drive (next time you’re there, Kathy, try the onion rings — delish!). Their cute and quirky compatibility remind me of Mr. XY and myself. On the surface, it may seem strange, but underneath, it makes perfect sense.

Regardless of how they’re courtship plays out, I wish them the best. I thoroughly enjoyed the two hours I spent being entertained by the one and only Kathy Griffin. If you have the chance to catch her live show, do yourself a favor and go for it. It’s so worth it!

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Lisa Steadman, a.k.a. The Relationship Journalist™ is the creator and editor of BreakupChronicles.com. She's also the author of "It's a Breakup, Not a Breakdown."