You don't have to be heartbroken to get it.

This one’s for the guys…

Ever wonder what goes on inside the single woman’s mind when it comes to dating? It’s not as dark, mysterious, or scary as you might think. In fact, by getting to know what and how we think, you may just discover a thing or two that’ll make trying to date us easier. Then again…

We’re not all about looks, so you shouldn’t be either
While we appreciate the aesthetics of six-pack abs, bulging biceps, and a great butt, you don’t have to have them for us to consider you a catch. But just as we’re willing to accept your beer belly and/or back hair, you should accept us as we are. And even though we don’t look like Angelina Jolie, when you compliment us on our curves, calves, or killer smile, we kinda feel like her. (Hint — that would make you Brad Pitt, and most of us would do a whole lot to Brad in the bedroom. Bring on the compliments!)

We like it when you make the first move (but if you don’t, we might)
Click here to read the full article on eHarmony.com

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Lisa Steadman, a.k.a. The Relationship Journalist™ is the creator and editor of BreakupChronicles.com. She's also the author of "It's a Breakup, Not a Breakdown."

Woohoo! eHarmony continues publishing my articles. Here’s one on dealing with your ex…

Everyone knows breaking up is hard to do. But staying in contact with your ex following a breakup? That’s where things get really tricky. By remaining in each other’s lives, you run the risk of a post-breakup rendezvous, holding onto feelings for your ex, and in general delaying your ability to heal and move on quickly (and without additional heartache). The following are some tips to help you avoid a post-breakup backslide into your ex’s arms, and instead ease you into your happily ever after future:

Create new Boundaries
Your best defense after a breakup? Immediately create new boundaries with your ex. That means no phone calls, no e-mails, no texting, and definitely no late-night visits. Your ex is now your ex. That means it’s time to “ex-tricate” him or her from your life.

Read the full article here on eharmony.com.

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Lisa Steadman, a.k.a. The Relationship Journalist™ is the creator and editor of BreakupChronicles.com. She's also the author of "It's a Breakup, Not a Breakdown."

When eHarmony initially approached me to write this article, I felt a bit daunted. After all, Mr. XY and I could do a better job of motivating one another to exercise more and eat less pizza (drink less wine, have less dessert, etc.). Since writing the article, I’m happy to report we are on a healthy living kick that includes regular exercise, more fruits and vegetables in our diet, and much less sugar. Of course, that didn’t stop us from ordering pizza over the weekend and enjoying a nice bottle of wine. Still, nobody’s perfect. And in an effort to constantly improve myself and my partner, I’m taking the following article to heart.

Serious about getting fit in 2008? Now that the holidays are over (and all the goodies have been gobbled), lots of people have health and fitness on the brain — and not just their own. If you’re happily hooked up, you may have your partner’s health and fitness in mind as well. Wish he’d eat healthier? Want her to stop talking about losing 10 pounds and just do it? Regardless of what your fitness goals are this year, you’ll be better able to attain them together by following these simple and effective tips:

Tip #1: Set an Example
If you’re trying to motivate your partner to get fit, the single most important thing you can do to get started is set a healthy example. Don’t bother nagging or complaining about his or her bad habits. That may only cause resistance and/or resentment. Instead, inspire by example. Create your own healthy new habits like going to the gym every day, cutting out junk food, refraining from eating after 8 p.m., etc. In addition, start talking to your partner about the healthy habits you’re incorporating into your daily life. Share why they’re important to you, and how they make you feel strong and confident (and maybe even super sexy!). If you’re consistent with your healthy new routine, your partner will see that and most likely be inspired.

Click here to read the other for great fitness tips on eHarmony.com.

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Lisa Steadman, a.k.a. The Relationship Journalist™ is the creator and editor of BreakupChronicles.com. She's also the author of "It's a Breakup, Not a Breakdown."

Admit it. You’ve got a crush. In fact, you’re crushing hard. And while having a crush on someone can be fun (the thrill of the unknown, the butterflies in your stomach when he calls, emails, smiles at you), it can also be stressful. Not knowing if the object of your crush returns your affections. Feeling like your heart is on hold. Getting stuck in the dreaded Friend Zone. Sound familiar?

Before you let yourself fall any harder for your crush, you need to assess the situation and pick a course of action. Do you want to keep your feelings a secret, forever harboring unrequited love/lust in hopes that he’ll one day look at you, profess his undying devotion, and offer you a happily ever after proposition? (Keep dreaming!) Or do you want to extricate yourself from the Friend Zone, forever altering your current limbo status in hopes of at least finding out where you stand? As scary as that second scenario sounds, it’s the one to choose. After all, you deserve to know if your feelings are reciprocated. And if not, you deserve to let go and move on, to eventually find someone more deserving of your love and loyalty.

At the very least, you deserve to get out of the dreaded Friend Zone.

Click here to read the full article on eHarmony.com.

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Lisa Steadman, a.k.a. The Relationship Journalist™ is the creator and editor of BreakupChronicles.com. She's also the author of "It's a Breakup, Not a Breakdown."

In honor of Valentine’s Day, here’s a crash course for guys looking to brush up on their flirting skills…

Okay guys, listen up. Want to improve your overall game in 2008? Success is easier than you think — and you don’t have to be a player to score a girl’s digits. But you do need to master the fine art of the initial approach, a.k.a. first-impression flirting. If that’s not your strong suit, don’t stress. The truth is, it’s not about delivering a killer line or perfecting a suave smile that makes the girl weak in the knees. To make a lasting (positive) first impression, all you need is a relaxed confidence when you approach and the ability to sustain genuine interest in what she has to say. For more tips on how to master first impression flirting, read on…

Confidence is key
When approaching a woman, confidence is essential. Instead of over-thinking what you’re going to say or how she’s going to react, your focus should be on embodying your most confident self. That means good posture, eye contact, and a relaxed (not forced or smarmy) smile. Once you’ve approached, maintain that eye contact, relax your smile, and just say hi. If she smiles and says hi back, she’s giving you permission to talk to her. If she gives you attitude/the cold shoulder, don’t return the bad mojo. Instead, remain your confident self as you walk past her and look for someone else to approach. After all, you never know if she has a cute friend who may be more receptive to you. If you’re a jerk, her friend will never give you the time of day. If you’re cool, you may just leave Attitude Girl wishing she’d given you a shot when she sees you with her gal pal.

Click here to read the full article on eHarmony.com.

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Lisa Steadman, a.k.a. The Relationship Journalist™ is the creator and editor of BreakupChronicles.com. She's also the author of "It's a Breakup, Not a Breakdown."

It may already be February, but there’s still time to live your best life this year. Read on for details…

Welcome to the new year, also known as The Year of You. That’s right, my fabulous friends. This is your year to live a big, fabulous life. And your first order of business? Throw out any resolutions you may have made on New Year’s Eve. You heard me. Throw them out right now. The truth is, resolutions are made to be broken. This year, you’re not so much making resolutions as you are grabbing life by the horns and holding on for dear life as you shake, rattle, and roll your way through your most fun and fabulous year yet! Here’s how…

Be Clear About What You Want (Then Go for It!)
The key to living a big, fabulous life in 2008 is to first be clear about what you want. Ready for a job change? Want to go back to school? Serious about finding someone special this year? Regardless of what your goal is, you can achieve it as long as you’re clear about what you want and then commit yourself to pursuing it. That means not only setting big and/or small goal(s) for yourself but also dedicating time to going after what you want — and not just in January when motivation strikes. To really get what you want, you have to be consistent throughout the year, even in the face of adversity. When faced with obstacles like a difficult boss, a grad school rejection, or any kind of dating disappointment, instead of letting that derail you use it as motivation to keep going. And give thanks for the temporary challenges you face along the way, as they make your victories even sweeter.

Click here to read the full article on eHarmony.com.

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Lisa Steadman, a.k.a. The Relationship Journalist™ is the creator and editor of BreakupChronicles.com. She's also the author of "It's a Breakup, Not a Breakdown."

Being an ambitious and independent woman myself, I happen to know a lot of other super successful women. Truth be told, most of them are single. So is this a problem for guys — dating a successful woman? I recently researched the subject for eHarmony.com. Read on…

Like it or not, when it comes to dating our genders are not operating on a level playing field. While it’s perfectly culturally acceptable for a man to date a woman who is shorter than he is, makes less money than he does, and is generally considered less of a catch than the guy is, society would say that the opposite scenario implies that the woman hasn’t done quite as well as she should have.

But what happens when you meet an amazing woman who just happens to look better on paper than you do? Are you supposed to just walk away? Or should you pursue and woo her regardless of what your pay stubs, bank statements, and portfolio say? In the new millennium, a time when men and women have equal earning power, when more and more husbands are opting to become stay-at-home dads and let their wives bring home the bacon, and when single women are putting off marriage and monogamy longer than previous generations, is dating a woman who makes more money than you still an issue? And if you happen to meet a savvy and successful woman who doesn’t care about who makes more money, is it still an ego-bruising deal-breaker for you, regardless of how amazingly sexy she is? Click here to read the top five tips for dating and mating with a successful woman who just might earn more than you without killing your confidence.

And share your comments on the subject here or on the message board.

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Lisa Steadman, a.k.a. The Relationship Journalist™ is the creator and editor of BreakupChronicles.com. She's also the author of "It's a Breakup, Not a Breakdown."

To get inside the mind of the single guy for this eHarmony article, I had to do my homework…

Ladies, listen up. If you’re having trouble in the dating trenches — whether it’s meeting a guy, attracting the right kind of guy, or maintaining a guy’s interest — this may just be the article for you. We’re going inside the mind of the single guy to find out what makes him tick. From his dating dos and don’ts to how he feels about monogamy and marriage, you’ll learn all you need to know to successfully snag the attention — and, possibly, affections — of the single guy.

Real guys like real girls (so just be yourself)
If you’re looking to meet a genuinely good guy, the first thing you need to know is that real guys like real girls. You don’t have to have 36-24-36 measurements or play fickle relationship games, and you definitely shouldn’t pretend to be someone you’re not. Guys consider phoniness a huge turnoff, so the next time you meet a single guy, do yourself a favor and just be your fabulous self. Maybe you won’t attract every guy in the room, but the right guy will be intrigued. The rest is up to you!

Click here to read the full article.

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Lisa Steadman, a.k.a. The Relationship Journalist™ is the creator and editor of BreakupChronicles.com. She's also the author of "It's a Breakup, Not a Breakdown."

Apparently, I struck a nerve with this eHarmony article. 256 comments and counting!

In our quest to find, attract, and keep our perfect partner, we often wonder what turns men on. And while it’s important to know how to light a man’s fire, it’s equally important to understand what douses his dating flames. By being clear about what kind of behavior turns men off, we can be better prepared to keep the spark alive from our first encounter to happily ever after. What follows are the top five male turnoffs.

Turnoff #1: Flakiness
Guys report that one of the biggest turnoffs when dating a woman is when she either can’t commit to plans or constantly flakes on plans. If you regularly pencil in your plans with a “maybe” and/or cancel plans at the last minute, you’re giving your guy the impression that he’s tentative in your life, aka “good enough for now.” Who wants to date someone who makes them feel temporary? Chances are you don’t, and you shouldn’t be the girl who makes her date feel that way either.

Click here to read the full article.

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Lisa Steadman, a.k.a. The Relationship Journalist™ is the creator and editor of BreakupChronicles.com. She's also the author of "It's a Breakup, Not a Breakdown."

I’m loving these eHarmony assignments! I hope this one helps savvy singles become successful daters, too…

In the new millennium, finding someone to date isn’t nearly as tricky as mastering the art of dating. Between online dating, singles events, and the old-fashioned in-person meet and greet, it’s possible to date someone new on a regular basis. But how do you make the most of these chances to meet your perfect partner? How can you ensure that a first date, good or bad, is a learning experience rather than a missed opportunity? The following are the top five dating don’ts, followed by helpful dating dos:

Don’t: Misrepresent yourself
While online dating is a valuable resource for the savvy single, there are people out there who misrepresent themselves. Don’t be one of them. Just as your online dating profile should accurately represent who you really are, your in-person encounters should be equally authentic. Don’t pretend to be something or someone you’re not in an effort to impress a potential partner. You’re fabulous just as you are and if somebody else can’t see that, it’s his loss. Besides, a relationship founded on lies and/or insincerities will quickly crumble.

Do: Be clear AND realistic about what you want
The most successful daters are those who not only know exactly what they want, but are realistic about themselves and what they’re looking for. Make a list of the qualities and traits you’re looking for in your perfect partner. Then look at that list and ask yourself how realistic it is. For example, is finding someone who makes great money more important than finding someone who lives within his means? Or if you think you want to meet someone who’s highly educated with multiple degrees, is that as important as finding someone with one degree but amazing life experiences that have helped shape and educate him? Make your list, and as you continue dating, tweak it to make it as clear and realistic as possible.

Click here to read the full article.

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Lisa Steadman, a.k.a. The Relationship Journalist™ is the creator and editor of BreakupChronicles.com. She's also the author of "It's a Breakup, Not a Breakdown."