You don't have to be heartbroken to get it.

Are you contemplating sex with your ex? Before you place that booty call, check out my interview on FirstWivesWorld.com where I discuss the dangers of sex with the ex, rebounding, and more!

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Lisa Steadman, a.k.a. The Relationship Journalist™ is the creator and editor of BreakupChronicles.com. She's also the author of "It's a Breakup, Not a Breakdown."

If my blog posts seem more sporadic these days, bear with me. I’m in the process of working on my next book which Publishers Lunch just announced…

THE BREAKUP WORKBOOK: A 21-Day Action Plan to Get That Man Off Your Mind and Out of Your Heart for Good will be out in May 2009. In it, I offer readers day by day action plans and activities to heal and move on in just 3 weeks.

The 2nd book in the deal is TBD. Stay tuned for more deets!

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Lisa Steadman, a.k.a. The Relationship Journalist™ is the creator and editor of BreakupChronicles.com. She's also the author of "It's a Breakup, Not a Breakdown."

From drab…                                                                                         …to fab!

Whether you’re suddenly single, perpetually dating, or happily hooked up, the holidays can be a stressful time of year. Between the shopping and parties and sweets, who doesn’t feel a bit bloated and blah now and then? May I suggest a makeover? You don’t have to be heartbroken to get one. The following fab makeover tips are courtesy of the experts at Herbal Essences…

Going through a breakup can be tough. But it can also be an amazing opportunity for growth and change. On the inside, you may discover just how strong, powerful, and resilient you really are. And on the outside, you may just become that beautiful butterfly you always knew was lurking underneath the sweats, disheveled hair, and puffy eyes, a.k.a. Cocoon Mode.  When the day comes for you to become that breathtaking butterfly, you may want to turn to the pros for guidance. And that’s where the fab folks at Herbal Essences come in. They’ve got hair makeover tips that will take you from Boo-Hoo to Woo-Hoo in no time: 

Looking for vibrant haircolor that will turn heads? Try Herbal Essences Color Me Vibrant! With 27 shades of permanent haircolor to choose from, it will be the best long-term relationship you’ve ever had.  

Whether you’re looking for a bold new look or just want to spruce up your color, visit “Shade Aid” on clairol.com. The experts will help you decide the shade and product that’s right for you!  

If you’re in the mood to lighten your locks, try Herbal Essences Shade-on-Shade Highlights. The easy-to-use formula will add variations of glimmer and shimmer to your color, giving you plenty of reasons to strut your stuff.   Feel like you need a little pick-me-up? Herbal Essences Color Me Vibrant has the cure; the Color-Amplifying Conditioner included in the kit will keep your hair shiny and vibrant for up to 8 weeks.   And when you’re done transforming your Movin’ On self, share your experiences here or on the message board. You can even upload before and after pics of your new look!

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Lisa Steadman, a.k.a. The Relationship Journalist™ is the creator and editor of BreakupChronicles.com. She's also the author of "It's a Breakup, Not a Breakdown."

For many years now, I’ve heard from people around the world about their breakups.  And if they’re emailing me, it’s usually in the midst of their breakup pain.  I feel honored that people share these fresh wounds with me.  And I hope that in sharing their stories, they get one step closer to healing and moving on.  That’s the whole goal of The Breakup Chronicles. 

Since my book has come out, I’ve heard from even more people.  And not only do I hear about their fresh breakups, but I also get the pleasure of hearing about how the book has helped them get through the pain of their broken hearts, and how they are now moving on.  Thank you so much for your emails and feel free to keep them coming!

Here’s a recent sampling of what people have to say…

J4Williams writes: Lisa, just a quick note.  I bought your book last night and read up to page 25, and your book just reached out to me in more ways that I can explain. Being a Libra also, it was like I was listening to myself, although - I am not where you are in your life, but I’m getting there. After just going thru a terrible breakup (I ended it) it been really tough and hurtful. But thank you, thank you for writing your book! I can’t wait to read the rest of it. I just want you to know you have really inspired me to know that someone is out there better suited for me and will treat me so much better.
THANK YOU.

hanna writes: I just finished your book a couple of weeks a go, and even thought the breakup is still hard, your book has helped me realized many things, and made me feell better. i cant thank you enough for your encouraging words and believing in ‘me’ even though u dont know me!

kirsten writes: I just wanted to thank you for writing that book. At first when I read it (the day after I had the big breakup) it didn’t help at all to be honest, probably because I wasn’t ready to move on and it was still a huge shock. I re-read the book about a week later and actually started to take everything into perspective. If you look at my pictures on my profile you will see pictures of my Boo-Hoo Crew. The two girls in the pictures with me are my best friends for the past 10 years and the only reason that I have gotten to the point of moving on and wanting to move on is because of my Boo-Hoo Crew and because of your book. So I just wanted to thank you personally.

slackmistress writes: How funny that a year or so back I was wondering whatever happened to that essay I sent into the ether, and yay! for Google that led me here. CONGRATS on your success with the book and the career! I just thought as a postscript I’d mention that I got married a few weeks back - and NOT to the ex-boyfriend!

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Lisa Steadman, a.k.a. The Relationship Journalist™ is the creator and editor of BreakupChronicles.com. She's also the author of "It's a Breakup, Not a Breakdown."

According to a new scientific study out of Northwestern University, breaking up isn’t so hard to do. However, in case you need a little help getting over your ex, here are five tips that should do the trick: 

1. Get rid of your ex’s stuff The first step in moving on after a breakup is to get rid of the evidence, i.e. your ex’s stuff. This is especially important if you lived together. Once you have parted domestic ways, there may still be remnants of your ex lying around. The first order of business is to get rid of any remaining reminders. That includes his alma mater mug in the cupboard, his boxers in the hamper, his 2-in-1shampoo in the shower, and even his name on your auto insurance policy.  Remove any and all evidence that your ex actually existed ASAP. 

2. Give your bedroom a makeover It may seem insignificant, but your bedroom holds the key to how quickly and easily you move on after a breakup. That’s why it’s necessary to give your bedroom a bit of a makeover. Buy new sheets or a new comforter, move the bed to another wall, invest in a new set of pajamas that your ex never saw you in, invite a new scent into the room with candles or air freshener. Do whatever it takes so that every time you enter the bedroom, you’re not reminded of your ex and instead are able to focus on celebrating you and your ability to move on!  3. Give yourself a makeover Go ahead, live a little! Invest in that cut, color, and highlights. Re-vamp your closet. Stop by the makeup counter at your fave department store and get a new look. You deserve to celebrate the new you that’s emerging after the breakup! 

4. Shake up your routine Does your post-breakup routine go something like this – work…home…eat…late night TV…sleep…work? If so, it’s time to shake up your routine! Put on your most bootylicious jeans and after work stop by the bookstore. Hang out in the section that interests you, i.e. travel, home decorating, etc. Make eye contact with the cutie across the aisle, or recruit your Woo-Hoo Crew and go out for cocktails after work. You may even opt to sign up for a class that interests you at a local college. Do what ever it takes to shake up your routine so you’re less focused on what’s missing and more focused on what’s around the corner. 

5. Throw yourself a Movin’ On party

To celebrate your new and improved life after the breakup, throw yourself a Movin’ On party. The party is not so much focused on celebrating the breakup as it is celebrating the life that’s now waiting for you, a life that promises to be more authentic and inspired now that you’re free to be true to yourself. Let the party begin!

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Lisa Steadman, a.k.a. The Relationship Journalist™ is the creator and editor of BreakupChronicles.com. She's also the author of "It's a Breakup, Not a Breakdown."

Exciting news!  The September issue of Zink magazine includes a shoutout for my book.  Here’s what it says…

Clean Break

“We’ve all woken up next to a half eaten box of Oreos and an empty pint of chocolate chip ice cream, only to fall back in bed after realizing the reason behind our binge: a heart wrenching breakup.  Luckily, there is a new survival guide to help us move on (and avoid a diabetic coma).  It’s a Breakup Not a Breakdown by Lisa Steadman, creator of BreakupChronicles.com, treats breakups as an opportunity for growth, change and personal empowerment.  Face it, staying positive about a breakup always trumps wallowing in our Cheetos-stained sweats for two weeks.”

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Lisa Steadman, a.k.a. The Relationship Journalist™ is the creator and editor of BreakupChronicles.com. She's also the author of "It's a Breakup, Not a Breakdown."

With her divorce from Fed-Ex finalized, Britney is officially post-breakup.  However, it doesn’t look like she’s handling post-breakup life very well.  From tabloid reports of erratic behavior to bad parenting to beat downs with the paparazzi, you might even say she’s breaking down rather than breaking UP and moving on.

Part of the problem is that Britney doesn’t have a Boo-Hoo Crew.  The truth is, you can’t successfully survive and thrive after a breakup on your own.  It’s too painful.  You need your friends, a.k.a. your Boo-Hoo Crew, for support.  But instead of reaching out and asking for help, Britney seems to be shutting everyone out.  She’s estranged from her family, parted ways with all of her assistants/managers/handlers, and is trying to manage a very hectic life and career on her own. 

1. Taking care of two small children
2. Trying to launch a comeback
3. Managing her own PR

No wonder everyone’s calling her a train wreck.  The girl is isolated and alone during a time when she really needs support.  Britney really needs a Boo-Hoo Crew.

From the looks of it, her isolation is self-imposed.  But it’s my opinion that the girl is hurting and actually crying for help.  And I feel for her. Going thru a breakup, especially a messy divorce is painful. It’s even more painful to have to do it under the media microscope.  Everyone’s speculating about her every move.  And unfortunately, she’s making some bad post-breakup decisions.  Rebounding.  Hanging with fellow party girls Paris and Lindsay (not exactly Boo-Hoo Crew material).  Alleged drug abuse and erratic behavior.

Makes you wonder what rock bottom will be for Britney.  It also makes you hope she’ll get help before she reaches it and loses any chance of a comeback, maintaining child custody, and healing the rift in her familial relationships.

Britney if you’re listening, find yourself a support system.  ASAP.

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Lisa Steadman, a.k.a. The Relationship Journalist™ is the creator and editor of BreakupChronicles.com. She's also the author of "It's a Breakup, Not a Breakdown."

You, too, would love New York if you were living mi vida loca. Here are the top 5 reasons why I’m digging New York City right now…

1. The Today Show - It was a thrill to be on the show I watch every morning. I love the way they edited the Movin’ On party and makeover. And being interviewed by Al Roker was a special treat. He’s soo adorable and funny! I told him afterwards that Mr. XY and I have coffee with him every morning.
2. Meeting my idol Candace Bushnell - Today I met the one and only Candace Bushnell, creator of Sex & The City as well as the other novels Lipstick Jungle, Trading Up, and 4 Blondes. As a true S&TC junkie, it was crazy cool to chat with Ms. B about the real Mr. Big!
3. Mass transit - Having spent 15 years in the car culture capital known as La La Land, I am so loving the subway system! It was intimidating at first but now I feel like an old pro.
4. Savvy singles EVERYWHERE! Another bonus of living in a pedestrian-friendly city like New York - the chance to meet like-minded singles EVERYWHERE! In the subway, on the street, at your fave local eaterie or watering hole. While I’m happily hooked up with Mr. XY, I’ve noticed a cutie or two in my travels. Plus, the ladies in this city are smokin’ hot! I actually got the best compliment of my life the other day when this guy told me on the street that I was the Caucasian Beyonce. Now, we both know it ain’t true, but admittedly I strutted my stuff for a few blocks afterwards!
5. The fashion - New York and Paris have the most fashionable women by far. But I noticed in New York, the men are super stylish, too. Love that!

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Lisa Steadman, a.k.a. The Relationship Journalist™ is the creator and editor of BreakupChronicles.com. She's also the author of "It's a Breakup, Not a Breakdown."

People have been asking about some of the products and services shown during my segment on the Today Show. Check ‘em out for yourself…

If you loved Theresa Fontana’s makeover dress or the dress I wore on the show, check out the fabulously talented Kathlin Argiro’s website kathlinargiro.com.

Want to know more about makeup artist Eve Pearl? Check out her website and product line at evepearl.com.

Loved Theresa’s brand new ‘do? Check out Stacey Lyn’s Violet Salon in New York at 296 Elizabeth Street, 212-353-2350.

As for those delicious finger foods you saw at the Movin’ On party, they were courtesy of Chef Janet of the French Culinary Institute.  Delish!

In case you missed my interview with Al Roker, you can view my Today Show appearance here.

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Lisa Steadman, a.k.a. The Relationship Journalist™ is the creator and editor of BreakupChronicles.com. She's also the author of "It's a Breakup, Not a Breakdown."

After a breakup it’s perfectly natural to feel blue. But breakups can also mess with our self esteem. You might even say we get a case of the uglies after a breakup! Suddenly we feel unattractive - our hair just won’t do its thing, makeup feels pointless, our wardrobe becomes nothing but sweats and other stretchy pants and wrinkled t-shirts.

If you’ve got a case of the uglies after a breakup, then you may want to schedule a Movin’ On makeover! Makeover tips to consider:

• A new cut, color, & highlights
• A mani/pedi
• An eyebrow wax (maybe even a bikini wax!)
• A relaxing massage and/or facial
• An ex-b.f. wardrobe exorcism (get rid of anything that reminds you of your ex)
• A fab new pair of strappy sandals, stilettos, or animal print ballet slippers
• A cute new bra and panty set to start feeling a bit saucy again

The key to getting a Movin’ On makeover is to reintroduce yourself to the fabulous you that’s hiding under that post-breakup funk. Remember, breakups are temporary but your fabulousness is forever! The makover may just remind you why your ex isn’t worth pining over and why you deserve to wake up, break up, and move on!

 For more tips, see It’s A Breakup, Not A Breakdown.

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Lisa Steadman, a.k.a. The Relationship Journalist™ is the creator and editor of BreakupChronicles.com. She's also the author of "It's a Breakup, Not a Breakdown."