Why June is the PERFECT month to meet Mr. Right
Submitted by Lisa Steadman on May 27, 2010 - 8:58 am
Did you know the June is perfect month to get out there, become an attraction magnet, and meet men wherever you go?
It’s true! And here are just some of the reasons why:
1. Regardless of where you live, the sun is probably shining and men are spending more time outdoors and outside of their routine, making it easy to meet a potential cutie.
2. Without the stress of any major holidays, men are more likely to be available for dating and having fun. (Seriously! Who wants the stress of a first date 2 weeks before New Year’s Eve or Valentine’s Day?!)
3. Now that summer is here, people tend to be more social, increasing your chances of meeting a cutie in a fun and relaxed environment.
When I was single, I always loved dating during the summer.
In fact, I met my husband five years ago this summer. We were both out at a bar with friends, enjoying a hot summer night. My girlfriend started talking to his friends, and two hours later I was loving the comfortable and familiar conversation I was having with this cute stranger.
Bonding over a shared love of author David Sedaris and the music of Pink Martini, we just clicked.
When he and his friends got up to leave later that night, I was thrilled when he asked for my number.
I also didn’t care if he called.
That’s because I had become a total man magnet that summer. And when you attract cuties like crazy, you don’t worry if any one of them doesn’t call you.
That’s the fabulous and fun dating playground I was enjoying that summer!
Even though I didn’t initially care if he called, I was pleasantly surprised when he called the next day.
No games. Woohoo!
But let’s be clear.
If I hadn’t been working on myself for the last months, I wouldn’t have been available for this cute nice guy to come into my life.
I would have blown him off as being too interested, too available, too into me.
Crazy, right?
That’s what happens when you’re in a negative head space and believe that love is only possible if it’s challenging, frustrating, and unfulfilling.
I had spent 30+ years believing life and love had to hurt.
So any time something or someone came along and it was effortless? I questioned it.
Luckily, 3 months before meeting my husband, I got fed up. I finally decided to break free of my tractor beam-like attraction to emotionally unavailable men who weren’t interested in me.
By letting go of my addiction to the drama, disaster, and disappointment, I created a new belief system about love.
How?
My clients know that I’m a big fan of changing your love vocabulary.
They also know that all those reasons you think you’re still single are bogus.
It’s not your age, your weight, or the city you live in that keeps you from finding the love you deserve.
Is your belief system.
If our reality matches our beliefs (and it does), here’s what happens…
If you think there are no good men left, you’ll be right. And you will be reminded whereever you go. From the jerk who cuts you off in traffic to the a**hole who opens the door for the pretty girl but not you.
From the dry cleaner who charges you too much to the valet who all but ignores you.
Since you believe there are no good men out there, guess what you’ll attract?
No Good Men!
And while that may have worked for you in the past, is it really still working for you?
Remember the story of my sister who hadn’t dated in 10 years? She had spent 10 years feeling invisible in Los Angeles, blaming the lack of interested men on her height, weight, age, and anything else she could think of that day.
Well, on her 40th birthday a few months ago, she confessed that she had met someone.
2 months later, they’re in love!
And let’s be clear. She didn’t lose weight. She didn’t move to a different city. She didn’t magically turn back the clock.
She simply got fed up with believing love was out of reach and decided she had to do something different.
First, she had to believe love is possible.
Then, she had to do something different to get a different result.
And third, she have to be willing to STOP being so emotionally shut down and actually let love in.
It wasn’t always easy. But is she glad she changed her ways?
You better believe it!
I love telling the story of how my sister finally let love in.
It’s such a beautiful illustration of what’s possible when you surrender to your genuine desire for love, and stop believing all the excuses you have had for years about why it hasn’t shown up.
So let me ask you this…
Now that you know that June is the PERFECT month to get out there and date, what are you going to do about it?
Are you going to go back to life as you know it…
Or are you going to step out of your comfort zone, surrender to the belief that good men are out there looking for you, and do something different to get a different result?
Don’t worry. You don’t have to do this work alone.
We’ll do it together in my 8 Week If He’s Not The One, Who Is? TeleClass starting June 15.
As I said before, summer is the PERFECT time to break free from all that unfulfilling self sabotage, change your behavior, and get a different result.
In the class, you’ll discover:
* How your past defines your future — and what to do about it
* What your subconscious mind really believes that is sabotaging your chance at creating a life you love and manifesting the love of your life
* The unhealthy dating and relationship traps, tricks, and blatant lies that are messing with your head
* How to stop getting unfulfilling results and instead manifest golden opportunities in all areas of your life
PLUS:
* How to step out of scarcity thinking and into abundance manifesting in life AND love
* How to stop getting sidelined unnecessarily by dating disappointment (it’s NOT the same as heartbreak!)
* What the perfect target rich environments are for you — and what to do about them!
* How to tell the difference between Mr. Next and Mr. Right
You you can get all the details here:
http://www.ifhesnottheonewhois.com/
SIGN UP by Monday, May 31 @ midnight and you’ll save $300!
Remember: Two months ago, my sister made the decision to let love in. In just 8 weeks, she manifested Mr. Right and is blissfully happy!
Imagine where you can be in just 2 months from now. Especially when you have hands on help, guidance, and support.
And that’s what I offer in my program.
When you sign up for my 8 Week If He’s Not The One, Who Is? TeleClass starting June 15, you’ll get:
1. Weekly 90 minute group calls and the recordings (starting June 15 – August 3)
2. Optional weekly 1 hour Q & A calls for added support
3. Weekly exercises to dive deep, stay on track, and hold yourself accountable
4. Unlimited email access with me throughout the class
5. 24/7 community support
6. A Woohoo Crew buddy for hands-on help throughout the program
That’s 2 1/2 hours a week LIVE with me, PLUS 24/7 email support, and access to your fellow participants in an amazing community.
Again, think about where you’d like to be 2 months from now. Still in confusion and frustration, or stepping into action and purpose?
Sign up for my teleclass NOW: http://www.ifhesnottheonewhois.com/
But hurry – I’ve only got 15 spots available in this class.
And this is the LAST time I’ll be teaching this class live.
So if you’ve ever thought about working with me, now is the time to do it.
These spots will go FAST!
Secure your spot and save money when you sign up by Monday: http://www.ifhesnottheonewhois.com/
Valentine’s Day Tips for Singles
Submitted by Lisa Steadman on February 14, 2010 - 11:07 am
For many singles, February 14th instills fear, dread, and the pressure to find someone, anyone, to partner up with. But this Valentine’s Day, why not give thanks for the ones who got away? The following are some do’s and don’ts for getting through the Valentine’s Day blues:
Do: Give thanks for the ones who got away
Today, give thanks for the ones who are no longer here. With Mr. Wrong long gone, you now have a clear shot at finding Mr. Right! Even if you have yet to meet Mr. Right, in letting go of those old relationships you have given yourself permission to be your most fabulous self. And in doing so, you’re bound to meet someone who’s better suited for you. Woohoo!
Don’t: Feel sorry for yourself if you don’t have an S.O.
Pity parties are SO last year. This is the year of you, fabulous you! If you happen to be single, celebrate. Remember – even though it may sometimes feel like it, being single is not terminal. It’s terrific! But it’s up to you to make the most of it. And you do that by being your most authentic and amazing self. And being open to the endless possibilities.
Do: Celebrate the love in your life
Whether it’s romantic love, true friendships, that unshakable bond between you and your pets, or the love you have for your family, this Valentine’s Day it’s important to take a look around and realize just how lucky you are. Maybe Mr. hasn’t found you yet. But you know what? You are loved. When you celebrate that, it shows. (And you never know who might be watching and falling for you!)
Don’t: Buy generic candy or flowers
You don’t have to have a significant other to celebrate on February 14th. But you do need to use your imagination. Instead of recruiting your girlfriends to pay for an overpriced standard menu at a fancy restaurant or sending each other generic candy or flowers, get creative! Invite your gal pals over for a potluck and cocktails. Or go out for a night of disco bowling! Or if you feel like being alone, rent a favorite non-romantic movie and watch it in your pajamas while eating your fave takeout. Have fun!
Do: Flirt with strangers
Just like every other day of the year, flirting is a must! You never know what can happen. An innocent flirtation can boost your ego, brighten your day, and/or possibly turn into a coffee date that may lead to a budding romance. Come on – take a chance!
Don’t: Spend your night online
You have 364 other perfectly acceptable days and nights to find a date or chat with other savvy singles online. On Valentine’s Day, take the night off. Trust that if there’s somebody out there in cyberspace for you, they’ll be there on February 15th. And 16th. And so on.
Do: Give to charity
Instead of buying meaningless gifts for friends or loved ones this Valentine’s Day, why not give the gift of charity? Find a cause close to your heart. Doing something good for others will take the focus off of the Hallmark holiday and boost your single spirit for sure!
Don’t: Put too much stock in one day
And one last tip. Remember that Valentine’s Day is but once a year. It does not define who you are. Just because you’re single doesn’t mean you’ll never find love or have a successful relationship (it only takes one!). Today more than ever, it’s important to maintain perspective.
What are your Valentine’s Day plans? Share them here on the blog!
And join my FREE Valentine’s Day call/Ustream event where I’ll share more ideas about how to celebrate your single self on February 14th and all year long!
My 3 Part Teleseries starts Tuesday!
Submitted by Lisa Steadman on January 22, 2010 - 7:15 am
I’m about to hop on a plane to San Francisco to attend an amazing weekend retreat with two incredible men, Dr. Kirk Prine and Donny Lobree.
These gentle men are true geniuses at helping individuals release old dysfunctional self stories and create beautiful new ones. I can’t WAIT to share what I learn this weekend with you next week!
Speaking of re-writing stories, I’m often asked how I met my husband.
My clients, friends, and people I meet online often approach me and want to know how I TRULY transformed from the broken down, disappointed, and hopeless woman I was after my Big Breakup six years ago to the empowered, enlightened, joy-filled woman I am today.
Specifically, they want to know what I did to manifest my husband!
And while sometimes I think these women would like to believe I have some complicated equation or that I’m just plain lucky, neither one is true.
And the truth is quite simple.
I met my husband after I connected to my Woohoo Within.
After months of self pity, negative self talk, and general Lisa bashing after my Big Breakup, I got fed up with, well, ME!
And once I decided to STOP the insanity, a.k.a. treating myself like garbage, telling myself I was a loser at love, and spiritually slaughtering myself, THINGS CHANGED.
They changed because I let go of my story.
I stepped out of the belief that I was hopeless when it came to relationships.
I let go of the idea that I was somehow too screwed up and unlovable for love.
And I released my belief that love was painful, hard, unfulfilling, and not worth the risk.
When I let go of all that, my WORLD changed.
I started liking myself.
I even started LOVING myself!
And I fell madly in love with my life.
It had nothing to do with a man. While I was dating a lot, I wasn’t defining my new self by what a man thought of me.
I was defining myself by what I thought of me!
What a refreshing change of pace!
Instead of believing that some man might think I was ugly, fat, unlovable, screwed up, or weird, I loved myself for being smart, funny, unconventional, creative, ambitous, and unique.
Once I started loving me for me, everyone around me did, too! Men flocked to me like crazy. (It was fun!)
All because I changed my story and celebrated the Woohoo Within.
And I’m not the only one loving myself and my life right now. One of my Woohoo Crew clients just emailed me HER Woohoo Within. Check it out…
“My personal Woohoo Within would have to be the new level of self awareness that I’ve developed. I believe I’m finally connecting with my real self, i.e., the observer of my thoughts. Previously, it was like this part of me, a very critical part of me, had been locked away for years while shy, insecure ME and my ragtag collection of limiting beliefs ran the show. I’ve been thinking about it and it’s like my sense of self preservation at a young age decided that this was how to protect myself from being hurt. I let fear rule. Well, I’m happy to say I feel like a completely different person. I love, respect and trust myself. I’m a pretty cool chick! People always told me how smart, funny, strong and even beautiful I am and I’m finally starting to believe it. My self confidence is starting to soar. It may sound a bit nutty, but that would have to be my Woohoo Within. Thank you, thank you!”
You’re welcome! 
And what a difference a few months makes!
When my client first signed up for my 8 Week If He’s Not The One, Who Is? Teleclass in October, she wasn’t feeling so happy and healthy. In fact, she was pretty down on herself.
- She believed she was a failure at love.
- That time had run out on her chance to get love right.
- And that she may be doomed to end up miserable and alone.
She’s not feeling that way anymore!
And it’s because of the Woohoo Within.
Love that!
Now, I’ll be honest with you…
Had I met my husband any sooner, he wouldn’t have given me the time of day.
He would have seen the sad, lost, unhappy young woman I was and thought, No thanks!
But because we met when I was fully connected to my Woohoo Within, he saw the REAL ME. And he liked what he saw from the very first moment!
He liked me so much that he called me the day after we met to make our first official date.
He now says he wasn’t willing to risk losing me to someone else who might come along and discover my fabulous self.
I’m so glad he didn’t waste any time pursuing me. He’s my absolute gift and best friend!
The reason I share this story with you is simple.
You can learn all you want about where to meet men, what to say, and how to flirt. But if you don’t first make peace with yourself, embrace your Woohoo Within, and fall madly in love with Y-O-U, no healthy and happy man you meet will recognize your fabulousness, ask for your number, and call you the very next day.
It’s that simple.
So rather than waste any more time online dating while feeling kinda crappy, or saying yes to some guy because you’re afraid no one else will come along…
What if you FULLY embraced YOUR Woohoo Within?
Your first step is simple. <b>Sign up for my FREE 3 Part If He’s Not The One, Who Is? Teleseries, starting next Tuesday night.</b> We’ll spend the next 3 weeks learning how your past is holding you back, how your beliefs keep you stuck, and how to CATAPULT your self love in record time. Soon enough, you’ll be writing to me about YOUR Woohoo Within. And I can’t wait to hear it!
Sign up for my FREE 3 Part If He’s Not The One, Who Is? Teleseries NOW:
http://lisasteadman.com/if-hes-not-the-one-who-is-3-part-teleseries
Just Added: A BONUS Valentine’s Day call on February 14! That’s 4 calls with me for FREE!
I can’t wait to speak with you next week!
Have a wonderful weekend. Be sure to enjoy a little Woohoo!
Has your life changed in 30 days? Mine has!
Submitted by Lisa Steadman on November 12, 2009 - 4:55 pm
Whew! What a month it’s been!
Here’s just some of the highlights, both exquisite and excruciating…
- My 8 Week If He’s Not The One, Who Is? Teleclass launched and is now in Week #4
- I attended an AMAZING (and you may even say life altering) five-day event with brilliant success coach David Neagle in Las Vegas
- I started a detox program and have lost 6 pounds (remember my goal of losing 20 by Valentine’s Day? Woohoo!)
- Our beloved cat Maya became suddenly and seriously ill and we had put her to sleep
Honestly, I could go on and on about how the last 30 days have been truly transformational for me.
But I’d rather hear from you.
How has your life transformed in the last 30 days?
What have you been celebrating, struggling with, and/or shifting?
It’s been a rough month, don’t worry. It doesn’t mean you’re not making progress.
It may mean you’re FINALLY facing your demons, dealing with resistance, and possibly changing your life for the better.
At least I hope that’s what all the struggle and strife is about. I’d hate for you to be struggling and suffering without any payoffs in the end.
The amazing women in my 8 Week If He’s Not The One, Who Is? Teleclass have been undergoing massive transformations. And while it’s not all easy and fun, they’re always sharing the power of those shifts. I’d like to share some of their emails with you…
On Week #1:
I just wanted to let you know that I absolutely LOVED the call last night. I got so much more out of it than I expected! WOW!! AWESOME!
On Week #2:
“I just want you to know that these calls are amazing and are really helping me work through things and realize things I haven’t in the past. I want to thank you for all you have done for me and continue to do. You are truly an amazing person and I am grateful everyday that you are part of my life.”
On Week #3:
“I’m still totally amazed by my experience last night. I felt like it completed a circle for me. For as long as I can remember, I have been stuck with emptiness and thinking I didn’t deserve to be happy and positive. I have spent years telling myself that God loves me over and over trying to feel better. But last night I was able to feel the love I had for myself as my “wise old self” looking at who I am right now.”
On Week #4:
“I finally realize that I am not going to settle for crumbs, shortchange myself or settle for less than I deserve. The next time I fall in love it will be with someone who can reciprocate. I will no longer be just a place holder. And I now know how to forgive myself for being and staying in a relationship that wasn’t working.”
Pretty amazing, isn’t it? I’m so honored to lead this class and so proud of the women who are changing their future every day.
btw, I just opened enrollment for my next 8 Week If He’s Not The One, Who Is? Teleclass. Even though class doesn’t start until 2010, you can enjoy a super fabulous 35% discount AND get plenty of hands-on support (a.k.a. private coaching!) through the holidays when you sign up now!
Truthfully, life isn’t always easy. That’s why you’ve got to ask for help…
While I have experienced tremendous bliss in this last month, I’ve also felt excruciating loss with the passing of my very first pet, our beloved cat Maya.
My husband and I didn’t even know she was sick until she started vomiting uncontrollably and drooling. We were blessed that we weren’t traveling and got to be home with her in her final week. It went so fast!
Honestly, making the decision to put Maya down was one of the hardest decisions of my life. I felt confused, scared, sad, angry, and lost. Kind of like how you feel when losing someone you love to a breakup or divorce, right?
I’m thankful I didn’t go through this all alone. I had my husband, my family, and an incredible vet, who we finally found after much frustration, thanks to our dear friend Marissa, who’s a vet in San Luis Obispo. When she heard Maya was sick, she dropped everything to review medical records, xrays, and make thoughtful suggestions and referrals.
In the end, we did what was right for Maya. And when she died in my arms, surrounded by the most compassionate vet on the earth, my mother, my sister, my husband, and myself, we all cried tears of both sadness for our loss and joy because it was such a dignified end to such a beautiful life.
And that’s when it hit me.
When we leave a relationship, or when someone leaves us, we don’t always get a dignified ending.
We don’t always get to celebrate the love we shared because we’re often too focused on the loss, the pain, and the tremendous sadness we experience.
We wallow because we’re afraid to let go and be alone, to lose our love, and to start again.
But starting over is essential.
Not only that, it’s healthy!
My husband and I have started over in a world without Maya. Our cat Buster has started over and actually relishes being Top Cat for the first time ever. Maya isn’t with us anymore, but she’s far from forgotten. She’s in our hearts, our memories, our framed photos, and in little moments that remind us of her. We regularly talk and laugh about her cute little pink nose, how she liked to be scratched between her ears, and how she flirted with every man who ever set foot through our front door, including, and most especially my husband.
Over the years, Maya and I had been through numerous breakups, plenty of heartbreak, and while she loved each and every one of my boyfriends, she loved my husband best of all.
Scratch that – she worshiped and adored my husband. Sometimes I think she wished she had him all to herself and didn’t have to share him with me.
And I think my husband relished the role of being the provider in the house, taking care of his sometimes-needy, often bossy, but genuinely loving ladies. Between me and Maya, he had his work cut out for him!
Now that Maya’s gone, the balance of energy has shifted in our home. I’m now the lone female living with two sweet, sensitive, adoring, lovable men, my husband and our cat Buster. It’s now my turn to take care of the men in the house, and I LOVE doing it!
Sometimes I’m sad when I think of Maya, but mostly, I’m happy because wherever she is, she’s happy, peaceful, and pain-free. And I survived putting her down, something I didn’t think was survivable.
But I’m still here.
And so are you.
If you’re struggling to pick up the pieces and move on with your life, I want that to change right this very minute.
Today, I invite you to start LIVING beyond the pain, loss, despair, and grief you’re experiencing.
I also invite you to celebrate the love you once had, give thanks for having experienced it, and LET IT GO.
I invite you to stand up, give yourself a big, fat hug, and remind yourself that you SURVIVED.
You SURVIVED the loss of love.
You SURVIVED the uncertainty of life without your ex, of standing on your own two feet, of being single again.
When will you truly THRIVE?
When will you fall in love with yourself, your life, and the love that’s still here?
When will you celebrate your strength, resilience, and power?
Let today be the day.
Today, I invite you to:
- Take a look in the mirror and get to know the amazing, brilliant, brave woman staring back at you
- Take an inventory of what you’re thankful for, both in your life and from your last relationship
- Celebrate the fact that you loved, you lost, and you’re still here
And then go out and do something bold, brash, and beautiful!
Maybe you’ll get a makeover, chopping your locks, and stepping into the most fabulous version of yourself…
Maybe you’ll put on your most booty-licious jeans and strut your stuff down the street, flirting with strangers…
And maybe you’ll finally get up the courage to talk to that cutie you always see in the latte line, on the subway, or at the grocery store…
Give yourself permission to have fun! (You deserve it!)
When in doubt, check out my daily video tips on how to heal your heart by New Year’s Eve.
And if you have any questions, e-mail ask@lisasteadman.com.
I’m here to support you and help you re-awaken to that blissful, beautiful, abundant life you deserve to live.
It won’t always be easy, but it will be well worth the effort, I promise!
The Savvy Single’s Guide to A Great Valentine’s Day
Submitted by Lisa Steadman on February 14, 2009 - 6:20 am
For many singles, February 14th instills fear, dread, and the pressure to find someone, anyone, to partner up with. But this Valentine’s Day, The Breakup Chronicles encourages single people everywhere to give thanks for the ones who got away. The following are some do’s and don’ts for getting thru the Valentine’s Day blues:
Do: Give thanks for the ones who got away
In addition to celebrating the love in your life, give thanks for the ones who are no longer here. Even if you have yet to meet the love of your life, in letting go of those old relationships you have given yourself permission to be your most fabulous self. And in doing so, you’re bound to meet someone who’s better suited for you.
Don’t: Feel sorry for yourself if you don’t have an S.O.
Pity parties are SO last year. This is the year of you, fabulous you! If you happen to be single, celebrate. Remember – even though it may sometimes feel like it, being single is not terminal. It’s terrific! But it’s up to you to make the most of it. And you do that by being your most authentic and amazing self. And being open to the endless possibilities.
Do: Celebrate the love in your life
Whether it’s romantic love, true friendships, that unshakable bond between you and your pets, or the love you have for your family, this Valentine’s Day it’s important to take a look around and realize just how lucky you are. Maybe Mr. or Ms. Right hasn’t found you yet. But you know what? You are loved. When you celebrate that, it shows. (And you never know who might be watching and falling for you!)
Don’t: Buy generic candy or flowers
You don’t have to have a significant other to celebrate on February 14th. But you do need to use your imagination. Instead of recruiting your girlfriends to pay for an overpriced standard menu at a fancy restaurant or sending each other generic candy or flowers, get creative! Invite your gal pals over for a potluck and cocktails. Or go out for a night of disco bowling! Or if you feel like being alone, rent a favorite non-romantic movie and watch it in your pajamas while eating greasy Chinese takeout. And give thanks that Mr. Wrong isn’t there to Bogart the spring rolls!
Do: Flirt with strangers
Just like every other day of the year, flirting is a must! You never know what can happen. An innocent flirtation can boost your ego, brighten your day, and/or possibly turn into a coffee date that may lead to a budding romance. Come on – take a chance!
Don’t: Spend your night online
We have 364 other perfectly acceptable days and nights to find a date or chat with other savvy singles online. On Valentine’s Day, take the night off. Trust that if there’s somebody out there in cyberspace for you, they’ll be there on February 15th. And 16th. And so on.
Do: Give to charity
Instead of buying meaningless gifts for friends or loved ones this Valentine’s Day, why not give the gift of charity? Find a cause close to your heart. Doing something good for others will take the focus off of the Hallmark holiday and boost your single spirit for sure!
Don’t: Put too much stock in one day
And one last tip. Remember that Valentine’s Day is but once a year. It does not define. Just because you’re single doesn’t mean you’ll never find love or have a successful relationship (it only takes one!). Today more than ever, it’s important to maintain perspective.
