How do I get back into the dating scene after six years?
Pete asks: How do I get back into the dating thing after 6 yrs of estrangment? It’s a tough thing for me. I do have a lot of female friends, all married or attached so that’s no help. They give me advice, and many of my pals say to stay unattached. For me, that’s not an alternative. I want a relationship. What should I do?
Lisa says: The dating scene can be intimidating, especially if you’ve been out of it for awhile. Take your time, taking baby steps easing back into the single life. Online dating might be a good start for you because you can approach potential candidates from the comfort of your own home behind your computer screen (much less scary than the in person meet and greet). Start by joining a site like Match.com, Chemistry.com, eHarmony.com, or Yahoo Personals. Create a profile (be sure to include a photo) and start searching for matches.
Next, when you’re out and about in daily life, get in the habit of making eye contact with the women you encounter. If they make eye contact back, smile. If they smile back, say hello. If they respond, try to continue the conversation. Just be yourself. The right women appreciate a man whose authentic and genuine. The wrong women will easily fall by the wayside. Don’t think of it as rejection, thank them for being honest and not wasting your time.
You might also want to sign up for singles events in your area like speed dating, lock & key, or something more mellow like a singles wine tasting event or a singles Sierra Club hike. Just do something you actually enjoy so you can meet like-minded individuals.
Getting back out into the dating scene after time away can be daunting. Don’t give up. Have faith in yourself, practice patience, and persevere. Good luck and happy dating!
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pete said,
May 9, 2008 @ 3:25 pm
THANKS LISA..THATS A GREAT START, NOW I HAVE TO ACTAULLY GET OUT AND DO IT..THE RIGHT WAY..BUT ITS STILL INTIMIDATING, BUT IF I DONT TRY, I’LL NEVER KNOW..AS I SAID, MOST OF MY LADY PALS ARE MARRIED/WITH RUGGIES OR DIVORCED WTIH RUGGIES..THATS AN ISSUE FOR ME, BUT AGAIN,IF I HAVE ANY OTHER Q’S CAN I GET BACK TO YOU..
I KNOW THAT ALMOST EVERY NIGHT,I CHECK OUT THE NOTES THAT I TOOK WHEN I DID THE TWO TELECLASSES WITH YOU…THEY HAVE REALLY HELPED ME A TON..THANX A TON AND HAPPY WEEKEND..AND IF A MOM, HAPPY MOTHERS DAY..
peterodriguez22@yahoo.com..KEEP IN TOUCH, COULD ALWAYS, ALWAYS USE THE FEMALE PERSPECTIVE TO LIFE..XO
pete said,
May 11, 2008 @ 9:23 am
LISA, THANX A TRILLION FOR THE ADVICE..I WAS CHECKING OUT MAIL ON SAT AND SAW THAT IT WAS THERE AND I FLIPPED FOR THE REST OF THE DAY…EASIER SAID THAN DONE, I THINK MY PROBLEM IS THAT I FEAR REJECTION/FAILURE, BUT YOUR ADVICE IS GREAT..ACTUALLY, YESTERDAY HAD CHATS WITH 2 LADIES, BOTH MARRIED–AS USUAL, THAT HAD A MAJOR INFLUNENCE ON HOW I APPROACH MY VOYAGE IN LIFE…THEY WERE GREAT AND ONE TOLD ME, DONT LOOK JUST WAIT TIL IT FALLS IN YOUR LAP..I’M NOT THAT LUCKY, BUT THEN IVE BEEN TOLD DONT LOOK SO HARD..
AGAIN, THANX A TRILLION AND I KNOW ALONG THE WAY , I’LL BE ASKING FOR MORE AND MORE ADVICE..HAPPY MOTHERS DAY AND HAVE A GREAT SUNDAY..pete..