Ditch It, Donate It, Destroy It: What to do with all your ex’s stuff

Submitted by Lisa Steadman on August 13, 2010 - 7:00 am

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It’s over. Now what? A better question would be what are you going to do with all the memories left behind? Whether you know it or not, the key to surviving and thriving lies in your ability to successfully sever ties with your ex. Not to mention all the stuff he left behind.

Starting today, make a conscious effort to get rid of any evidence that your ex actually existed. Maybe you feel like you’re not ready yet, but I promise this is an important and necessary step to your recovery. So wrap that comfy blanket or quilt around you, keep a handful of tissues in one hand, and in the other grab a sturdy bag or box. Now, go from room to room, putting anything into the box/bag that your ex left behind. This includes his old stuff (socks, toothbrush, Xbox, etc.), items that will only remind you of your ex and therefore torture you (old photos, letters, mementos), or gifts that your ex gave you (including the teddy bear on your bed). Once you’ve done a clean sweep of your home, clearing any visual reminders of your ex, put the bag/box down. You now have a decision to make. Will you:

1. Trash his stuff

2. Donate his belongings

3. Return the items of value, dump the rest

4. Put everything somewhere for safekeeping until you’re over him

While I’m a big believer that time plus distance equals moving on from an ex, I have my sentimental side, too. I recognize that you may want to keep certain mementos from your relationship — old photos, letters, cards, etc. However, for the duration of your recovery, your ex’s things have got to go. And that’s what the box is for. Once you’ve packed up all of his stuff and gotten rid of as much of it as you’re willing to, close the lid on the items you want to hold onto. Put the box in the very top of your hall closet, in a storage area you don’t frequent, or better yet, give it to a friend for safekeeping. Explain that you’ll eventually want the box back but that first, your heart needs to heal. You’ll thank yourself later for performing this necessary exorcism.

For more on how to perform a thorough exorcism, get copies of my books It’s A Breakup Not A Breakdown: Get over the big one and change your life – for good! and It’s a Breakup, Not a Breakdown Workbook: A 21-Day Action Plan to Plot Your Revenge, Spoil Yourself, and Find Out How Good Your Life Is Without Him.

And to remind yourself that you’re NOT alone, check out The Breakup Chronicles, featuring real stories of how breaking up with the wrong person is always the right thing to do.

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