Day 28: Does the idea of finding Mr. Right freak you out?
Submitted by Lisa Steadman on June 28, 2010 - 6:00 am
I rarely talk about what to do AFTER you meet a great guy.
And yet I find that this is where most women truly struggle.
We say we want love. We say we’re ready. And then when someone really great shows up who’s interested and available, we freak out. We sabotage. We run the other way.
Sound familiar?
As someone who has been there and done that, I had to break free of my own fears about actually finding love. My fears of being seen, heard, vulnerable, not to mention being in a relationship with an imperfect person. I had been looking for perfection for so long I couldn’t even accept a good man into my life when he showed up.
Until I broke free of my fear of what love actually looks and feels like.
If the idea of being in a relationship, taking risks, being vulnerable, and falling in love with an imperfect person terrifies you, pay attention to that. And works to shift your thinking.
Healthy and happy life is imperfect. You do have to be vulnerable. And that’s okay. That’s fantastic!
Surrender to the imperfectness of love. Give good guys a chance. And be willing to be imperfect yourself.
Got questions? Post them here.
For more tips like this, check out http://lisasteadman.com/category/30-day-challenge/
3 Comments»
June 28, 2010 at 3:33 pm
This is my biggest issue right here. I am a big sabotager. I have always said that the right guy won’t let me sabotage but I think that even if it was the right guy I might find the one thing that will turn him away. I’m working on it but it’s the roadblock I have. Sigh.
June 28, 2010 at 7:31 pm
Cat, thanks for sharing your frustration. The good news is, you’re waking up to your saboteur. Now it’s time to shift your behavior. Don’t let your inner saboteur keep love away! Instead, listen without judgment, then choose to behave differently to get a different result. It takes time and is totally worth it!
June 29, 2010 at 5:21 am
I working on it! My problem is I can’t stand being out of control and I don’t like the feelings that falling for someone gives me. The jitters, the will he like me (no, he probably won’t) the I’m going to screw this up so I might as well put an end to it now. I am a non risk taker when it comes to love. I always like guys that don’t like me. I know deep down they don’t but I rationalize and then I tell them I’m interested and then I get rejected. I mean it’s a vicious cycle. I haven’t dated much because of this. I am relatively happy being single but I still want someone to love me unconditionally. The funny thing is I think I have found someone (I posted that on your Facebook, under Catherine) he’s someone who I have known for years and he doesn’t put up with my crap. I have already self sabotaged (my MO is acting like a crazy person. Sending them texts that make no sense and so they just stop talking to me and I feel relief)to a point and he just ignored my yammering and called me out on it. I was like wow. THis is different. The problem is, we are friends. And he is extremely shy. He’s very good looking and girls chase him but he hasn’t had a date in longer than me. So I have to tread lightly and be patient. But in my experience guys stick me in the friend zone and don’t see me that way. I don’t know. God, I wish I lived in your town so you could be my life coach. I love all your advice! Thanks for letting me vent!
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