Lakeshia Ekeigwe on The Truth About Being Single
Submitted by Lakeshia Ekeigwe on June 27, 2010 - 7:20 am
When Lisa invited me to participate in her 30 Day Get Out There Challenge, I gladly accepted. I love sharing the truth about being single with single women everywhere. And the truth is…
You’ve been lied to.
How have you been lied to?
- The lie that you are supposed to love being single, and that something is wrong with you if you do not accept and embrace your single life just the way it is.
- The lie that you are lacking in self-love and self-esteem if you know you would rather be married than single.
- The lie that “the universe” may intend for you to be single so that you can accomplish great things.
- The lie that lust and/or money can replace love.
- The lie that you are “too picky.”
These were just some of the lies I heard when I was single, and I was sick and tired of them.
The circumstance of being single, when you would rather be married, just does not feel good. If it did, a whole lot of reality TV and ALL of the online dating services would cease to exist.
Would you like to know the truth?
The truth is you are inclined to being mated.
The truth is you are inclined to sharing your life with someone.
The truth is you are inclined to love.
The truth is you are not supposed to be single.
The truth is in your biology.
Yes, the truth is in your biology! Every 28 days or so, women are physically, hormonally and emotionally, either preparing to menstruate, menstruating or recovering from menstruation. What is the sole purpose of the menstrual cycle? To reproduce. What does it take to reproduce? A man.
We are instinctively drawn to being mated because the continuation of the human race depends on it. That is it. That is the biological truth about being single. You are not supposed to be.
So, you want a partner for life. You want to be married. Well guess what, that is precisely how you should feel.
Unfortunately, single women have been made to appear bitter, stupid and foolish for even thinking that their lives would be better in a happy, loving marriage. But, take a moment to think about it, does it not make perfect sense that you would prefer to join in the most basic ebb and flow of humanity from the beginning of time — that of having a mate and creating a family.
Want more of the truth? Good, I have more.
It is okay to feel that being single is not how you thought your life would be.
It is okay to feel that you would be happier married.
It is okay to know that you would feel complete – yeah, I said it; “complete” meaning NOTHING is missing – with a partner to share your life with.
It is okay to have very high expectations of the man you will share your life with. In fact, his wonderfulness should mirror yours.
It is okay to refuse to settle for less!
How will this information help you “find Mr. Right”? Well, hopefully you are now liberated from old beliefs that were confusing and self-defeating, eliminating some pressure. You no longer need to defend and justify your singleness! That said, you can now shout from the rooftops – I WANT TO GET MARRIED! - and enjoy the journey to finding your Mr. Right who will shout that out right back to you!
About the Expert
Lakeshia Rivers Ekeigwe is a Personal Development Coach and co-author of the book The Truth About Being Single. She works with individual clients and groups, facilitating classes and webinars designed to help people live the lives they want as they deepen their self-awareness and build greater self-esteem. She can be found at www.thetruthaboutbeingsingle.com and www.coachkesh.com.
3 Comments»
June 27, 2010 at 9:54 am
Straight-forward and to the point- LOVE it! Great advice!
June 27, 2010 at 4:56 pm
I love these honest and though-provoking questions that help successful women in 21st century reconcile the confusion around all the mixed messages (from our family, friends, and the media, which competes with our own feminine instincts) about what women really want! Tell me more Coach Kesh!
July 1, 2010 at 3:27 am
When you say single women do you mean never married? Or just all single women. I have found that most women I know that have been married and now single are not so willing to remarry, myself included. Marriage is no joke and the only way it completes you is that it makes you work harder on your self. It can be a wonderful thing when you go into it equipt with certain truths: You must begin with knowing and loving yourself unconditionally, You cannot change him therefore you MUST KNOW him well enough to want to Grow the rest of your life with him, and after all that when things get shaky remember that marriage is YOUR commitment with GOD about your mate. Being married is work you both have to be open and willing to do; it is well worth it. There was a time I agreed with all of what you wrote above, but after 15yrs of marriage and 7yrs of widowhood I personally believe every woman should be married at least once so she can really understand her worth, and appreciate being single.
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