Ten Can’t Miss Flirting Moves from Dr. Diana Kirschner

Submitted by Lisa Steadman on June 11, 2010 - 6:37 am

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OK, Ladies. Ready to revv up your flirting skills during my 30 Day Get Out There Challenge? My friend Dr. Diana Kirschner has 10 key flirting moves to implement TODAY. Which ones work for you?

Flirting is phenomenal!  It is a playful, fun activity that helps you feel more attractive and boosts your flirtee’s self esteem.  Flirting can be a complete encounter; it doesn’t mean you have to go any farther. As long as you are in a safe public place, a little flirting is a fun, uplifting activity. Within a relationship, flirting is very important: it gives your date or partner clear “go” signals that indicate you find him attractive.

Flirting is especially important to practice if you are shy or nervous with men or typically caught in a deadly dating pattern I call “Just Buddies.” In this all-too-common pattern you have guy friends at work or outside, watch sports with them, play video or other games with them, but create no romantic connections.  Then you wonder why none of these men are into you.

Dylan, a brilliant, hard-working engineer, whose gorgeous bod was permanently camouflaged in pantsuits or sweats, talks about her Just Buddies pattern:

I work with a lot of guys and I love sports, so we wind up going out after work to sports bars, kicking back a few drinks and doing the guy thing together.  I’m the one they tell all their girl problems to. It’s all great, except for Rob, who I think I’ve been in love with for the past year.  He just got engaged! After working with one of your Love in 90 Days Mentors, I realized that I’m afraid to be more of a woman with a guy. Truth is, I don’t really know how to flirt and have never asked anyone for help.

Dylan worked with her Love Mentor and got over her deadly dating pattern by dressing in more feminine clothes and by flirting. She is now having an incredible time dating terrific guys.

Like Dylan, many of us simply feel like we don’t know how to flirt.  We see our girlfriends doing it, starting spirited connections with men and leaving us in the dust.  But the truth is that flirting is a skill that can be learned!  If flirting doesn’t come naturally, try it first on men who are not threatening to you like Dylan did with her game night friends.  But make sure you eventually build up to the hotties.

If you are nervous, blushing or shy, let it be.  This kind of energy is particularly endearing and attractive. And surprisingly enough, if you are very attractive, flirting is especially important!  The good men are often quite intimidated by a beautiful woman, and you have to be very clear in signaling your interest.

So here are 10 key flirting moves adapted from my bestselling dating advice book, Love in 90 Days: The Essential Guide to Finding Your Own True Love:

1. Make eye contact and smile.  If he makes lingering or repeated eye contact back, he is probably interested.
2. Ask for help as you adjust your shoe, lean on his arm and adjust it.
3. Look at him, look away, then look back.
4. While sitting, cross your legs and jiggle your foot in his direction.
5. Touch him lightly on the arm, shoulder or neck.
6. Touch your lips, neck or chest.
7. Brush your hand through your hair.
8. Play with your hair, clothing or an object.
9. Whisper in his ear.
10. Give him a mini-massage.

Pick two or three of these simple flirting acts and try them out.  You will be amazed at how easy they are to do.  Then try a few more.  Over time you can become accomplished at flirting whenever you want to, no matter how attractive a hottie is!  Learn more about busting through shyness and finding, attracting and dating terrific guys in Love in 90 Days: The Essential Guide to Finding Your Own True Love.

About The Expert

Psychologist Dr. Diana Kirschner, is a frequent guest on the Today Show, successfully ran the 90 Day Love Challenge on the Fox Morning Show and is the star of a PBS TV Special based on her bestselling dating advice book, Love in 90 Days. She has helped thousands of single women find lasting love. Get Dr. Diana’s Dating Tips & Relationship Advice Newsletter ($59 value) FREE at www.lovein90days.com

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