Breaking Up Your Finances: How to Untangle Your Lives After Heartbreak

Submitted by Lisa Steadman on April 21, 2010 - 7:00 am

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Breakups aren’t just about the end of a romantic pairing. There are numerous financial, legal, and business decisions that may need to be addressed. If you and your ex share bank accounts or other assets, you’ll need to come to an agreement about how to divide the money/other assets and then contact the relevant banking/other institution(s) to find out how to legally proceed. Again, it’s important to keep a level head about these things and not act out of anger, spite, or bitterness. These are financial decisions. Respect yourself as well as your ex, and be fair throughout the process (no matter how much you want to punch him in the face!).

You may also need to identify others ways your lives became intertwined. Car insurance, health insurance, retirement plans, credit cards, personal loans, household bills, etc. These are all potential accounts and/or policies that you and your ex may currently share. When you breakup, it’s essential that you remove the other person from each and every one of these items. If you don’t, one or more of the following scenarios could come back to haunt you in the future:

- You get turned down for a home or car loan because your ex, still attached to an account you shared while you were together, negatively affected your credit.

- Because you never removed your name (or your ex’s) from an account, a collection agency comes after you for a debt your ex never paid.

- By not taking your ex off your health insurance policy, you become financially responsible (and ultimately financially drained) for a medical emergency they encounter weeks, months, years down the road.

- If you die in an accident and haven’t changed the beneficiary on your assets (your home, retirement plan, savings account), your ex can possibly claim those assets, leaving a rightful heir with nothing.

As uncomfortable as conversations about money, property, and other assets can be when going through a breakup, you must have these difficult discussions if they apply to you and your ex’s situation. Do your best to broach the subject with fairness and compassion, and insist that your ex does the same. Obviously, the situation becomes stickier if and when one of you uses the unresolved issues as a way to seek revenge, hold on to the other person, or prolong the separation process. If you feel that things are getting out of control, you may need to involve a mediator. Trust your gut about the situation and proceed with the necessary caution.

Need help navigating the tricky terrain of breakups and money? Pick up copies of my books

It’s A Breakup Not A Breakdown: Get over the big one and change your life – for good! and It’s a Breakup, Not a Breakdown Workbook: A 21-Day Action Plan to Plot Your Revenge, Spoil Yourself, and Find Out How Good Your Life Is Without Him.

And leave a comment about how you’re handling the splitting of assets with your ex.

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