Are you feeling hopeFUL or hopeLESS?
Submitted by Lisa Steadman on December 31, 2009 - 12:00 am
Be honest — with 2010 here, are you feeling hopeFUL or hopeLESS?
Believe it or not, how you feel right this minute affects how 2010 will unfold for you.
It doesn’t even matter what happened in 2009.
- Maybe you lost your job.
- Maybe you lost your home.
- Maybe you lost Mr. Right.
- Maybe you lost all three.
And if so, it’s no wonder you’re feeling hopeLESS right now. What’s there to look forward to in the new year, right?
Without love, hope, or possibility, what’s the point?
Exactly!
That’s why it’s essential that you reconnect to hope, starting today.
What if — regardless of how much pain, disappointment, and loss you experienced this year — you could step into the awareness that everything you want, need, and desire can be yours in the coming year?
What if I told you that it’s already here?
All the love, all the financial abundance, all the career fulfillment you’re seeking is already HERE…
You just don’t see it yet!
And if you can’t see it or believe it, how can it SHOW UP?
Let me share something deeply personal with you…
Five Decembers ago, I was in deep despair.
I had left my corporate job to pursue a better life and it wasn’t showing up. The job opportunities were slim to none. My tendonitis that had developed in my arms during my Big Breakup was getting worse, which meant I couldn’t physically go back to my old corporate life of writing on a computer 40 hours/week.
I’d cashed in my 401K to build this new life and not only was the new life NOT showing up, the money I’d saved was drying up.
How would I make my mortgage payments?
How would I make a living?
How could I attract love if I was disabled and broke?
I had FINALLY gone cold turkey with my Big Breakup so that Mr. Right could show up and he wasn’t anywhere in sight.
While I had managed to manifest a fun, cool, sexy magician who was rocking my world, he had made it clear that commitment was not an option.
Had I really just left one man who was rocking my world but unable to commit for another man just like him?
It sure seemed like it.
So much for that dream life I thought I could have if I just let go of the old life.
I felt like the universe had duped me.
I felt like a complete and total failure.
I was really f***ing angry. At God, at the world, AT MYSELF.
I told myself I was a fool for thinking I could really have all those amazing things I wanted. Things like:
- A career as a published author
- A man who loved me for me
- A community that supported me and that I cherished
- Abundant health
It wasn’t fair.
My life sucked.
My heart ached.
And my body hurt.
My old life no longer worked, but my new life wasn’t any better.
I remember sitting on the living room floor of my condo, looking around at all the STUFF I had accumulated.
I felt empty.
Alone.
Betrayed.
Petrified.
I thought I had hit rock bottom months ago. But this was a new level of LOW. How could I possibly find my way out?
I remember crying, wailing, feeling hopelessly desperate.
And then a voice spoke to me.
“Get out of the way.”
Huh?
“Don’t ask how. Just do. Now, get out of the way.”
At the time, I didn’t know what the voice meant. Or even who the voice was!
But I somehow summoned the courage to listen and start following it as it got louder and more clear.
“Pack your things.”
I packed up my condo and found tenants to rent to. I moved in with friends.
“Start writing.”
With my tendonitis causing daily pain in my arms, I wasn’t sure how to write anymore. I researched voice recognition software and I slowly started talking instead of typing.
“Change how you feel about love.”
Having learned not to question the voice within, I created a daily exercise where first thing in the morning and last thing before bed, I said out loud, “Love is…” and filled in the blank with words that excited me.
Love is blissful.
Love is available.
Love is abundant.
Love is here.
Love feels amazing!
Slowly but surely, I started believing that this new kind of love existed.
I also started believing that maybe I could write my book using voice software.
Guess what happened next?
I met my husband. And from the moment we met, I FELT him the way I’d been describing love.
Within months, an editor at a publishing house contacted me and invited me to write a book.
After hitting rock bottom, things were looking up.
But it wasn’t until I believed another way was possible.
So if you’ve hit rock bottom this year, now is NOT the time for hopelessness and despair.
Now is the time to shift your beliefs, change your behavior, and act as if your new life has already begun.
Because it has.
Imagine what it would FEEL LIKE to be loved, miraculously, unconditionally, delightfully LOVED just for being you.
Imagine how it would change your life if you loved your career AND had more than enough money for your life?
Imagine what extraordinary things you could accomplish when you know that the universe is happily, blissfully, and unconditionally supporting Y-O-U?
This new reality already exists. You just have to awaken to it.
And that’s what I’m going to show you how to do in 2010.
My mission for the entire year is to give you the tools, techniques, support, and guidance to break free from YOUR ROCK BOTTOM and rediscover a new ELEVATED way of living and loving.
Here are some great ways to get started:
1. Join my FREE 30 Day Woohoo Challenge on my Fan Page:
http://www.facebook.com/LisaSteadmanFans
2. Download your free chapter from my next book If He’s Not The One, Who Is?: What Went Wrong – and What It Takes to Find Mr. Right by going here:
http://www.ifhesnottheonewhois.com/
The book isn’t available anywhere else until January 18. And together, we’re going to spend 2010 learning how to let go of Mr. Wrong and call in Mr. Right!
3. Listen to your new anthem song “I Just Haven’t Met You Yet” by Michael Buble. It’s booty-shaking, inspiring, and F-U-N:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1AJmKkU5POA
And set your intention for 2010. Give yourself permission to dream BIG!
Now, I’m out of the office the rest of this week and part of next. It’s my way of celebrating my new dream life. I work hard to create a dreamy life and I’m taking the time to celebrate it! My husband and I are having fun dates and planning our trip to Paris next fall. Woohoo!
In the meantime, give yourself permission to have fun, release your old life, let go of rock bottom, and start celebrating your new life!
So many people tell me how lucky I am. It isn’t luck. It’s a combination of faith, preparation, opportunity, and courage.
You have all that inside you. Why not let it out, starting TODAY?
Los Angeles ONLY: Share your dating horror stories (win a prize!)
Submitted by Lisa Steadman on December 25, 2009 - 11:16 am
As a dating coach, 2009 has been all about helping my clients rock their love lives. So when I heard that Singular Magazine and SingularCity.com had joined forces with local LA hotspot Rock Sugar to help singles rock their next date, I wanted in!
Here are the deets:
Share your dating horror story (we’ve all had them) with your friends at SingularCity for your chance to snag the perfect dinner-date at RockSugar Pan Asian Kitchen in Century City. This dinner-date package is worth $300, and includes appetizers, entrees, dessert, and a bottle of champagne.
The top five worst dating stories will be posted online for everyone to enjoy and/or commiserate. Singular City will then vote on the best worst-date-story, and award the exclusive dinner-date package to the winning submission.
You can enter the contest here.
Deadline for entries is October 5, 2009. Submissions can be up to 300 words. You must be at least 21 years of age to enter. The top five finalists will be posted October 12, 2009. The winner will be announced October 26, 2009.
Good luck!
From breakup Boohoo! to dating Woohoo!
Submitted by Lisa Steadman on - 11:07 am
Yesterday, I got this amazing email from one of my Facebook friends. I just had to share it…
“I just can’t tell you how much your book, It’s a Breakup not a Breakdown has helped me through these horrible past two months! Without your wise, funny words, examples and ‘check-ins’ I think I would have lost my mind. My loving, committed, best friend ex of almost 5 years had been cheating on me for two years with a married neighbor down his street! After more drama than a mini-series, and going from angry to betrayed to utter depression and sadness, I’m slowly beginning to thrive–not mearly survive. In fact my Single and Ready to Mingle Movin’ On Party is scheduled for Sept. 22. And my Boo Hoo Crew is definitely now my Woo hoo’s!!!”
Hugs,
Anna
Here’s what I love about getting emails like this. It shows the resilience that lies within all of us. Even in the midst of excruciating heartbreak and betrayal, we can find a silver lining. We can also rise from the ashes of our old life, reinvent ourselves, and celebrate our metamorphosis. Woohoo!
It also illustrates the importance of building your success team. Anna has a supportive Boohoo Crew, AND she’s been doing the accountability exercises in my book.
Who’s on your success team?
What are YOU doing to heal your heart and move on?
Your healing won’t happen magically. You actually have to participate! That’s why I wrote my 21 day workbook. So you not only read about healing your heart, but you participate on a daily basis. This is ESSENTIAL to letting go of the past and stepping into your future.
If you’re REALLY ready to heal your heart, here are some easy ways to get started:
- Create those new boundaries with your ex
- Recruit your Boohoo Crew/Success team
- Spend time every day forgiving yourself, loving yourself, and engaging in nurturing activities
- Shift your focus from your ex’s future to what you want for YOUR future
- Reinvent your space, especially your bedroom
And if you REALLY want to accelerate your healing, get hands-on help, and work closely with me, sign up for my final Heal Your Heart 8 Week Group TeleClass of 2009. Here’s what you get:
- 8 weekly group calls led by me.
- Weekly materials including worksheets, tools, and tips to help you surmount any recovery hurdle.
- Access to an exclusive area of my message board for a rich and supportive community.
- A FREE copy of my workbook It’s A Breakup, Not A Breakdown Workbook: A 21 day plan to plot your revenge, spoil yourself, and find out how good life is without him.
- Discounts on my private coaching for added support.
But hurry — space in my teleclass is limited and it WILL SELL OUT.
To ensure your spot, sign up NOW!
As my gift to your healing and recovery, I want to offer you 25% off the class. Here’s how to redeem this generous offer:
- Visit my TeleClass page
- Click the Add to Cart button on the program you want
- Enter this coupon code on the next page: Lisa Gift
- Click Apply (you’ll see the discount applied) and then click Check-Out
It’s THAT easy to redeem your gift, save money, AND heal your heart!
To your success!
xoxo,
Lisa
Who’s in your Woohoo Crew?
Submitted by Lisa Steadman on - 10:59 am
I’m always gabbing about the importance of Boohoo Crews when you’re healing your heart, but what about Woohoo Crews?
Take a look at your support system. Who’s got your back, and who might be an unknown saboteur?
It’s oh-so-important to have friends in your corner. But be sure they’ve got your best interests at heart. Sometimes our so-called friends can be not-so-nice for us. They can boss us around, dominate the friendship, and possibly suck all the energy and attention from any room.
The challenge with this? We don’t have the opportunity to meet super groovy guys in the presence of such drama queens and kings. Talk about a serious saboteur!
While you don’t have to ditch your friends, you will want to pay attention to who’s REALLY got your back, who TRULY cheers you on, and who can help you be your best self.
Healed by the Holidays: Let go of toxic waste
Submitted by Lisa Steadman on - 10:56 am
Be honest – Are toxic emotions keeping you stuck?
In your heartbreak recovery, are you holding onto your past for dear life, letting anxiety, stress, and toxins poison your chances of moving on?
Take a cue from Caroline Myss’ Anatomy of the Spirit and release any remaining angst, projected anger, and self-induced hostility. Let go and move on! This will be the best thing you can do for your healing heart.
Here’s your daily video tip to help you heal your heart by the holidays:
Tis the season to celebrate the love IN your life!
Submitted by Lisa Steadman on - 10:29 am
If you’re going through a breakup or struggling to heal your heart this time of year, you know how challenging that can be…
You walk through a store and see and all the holiday wrapping and decorations everywhere.
You start worrying that you won’t heal your heart by the holidays.
You start obsessing about your ex, what went wrong, and where he is now.
You also start to feel lonely, isolated, and lacking in the love department.
Don’t go there!
Instead of focusing on what’s missing, a.k.a your ex, I want you to put your focus on the love IN your life, i.e. your friends, family, and furry friends. Anyone in your environment who supports and nurtures you deserves to be celebrated.
The key to surviving and thriving after a breakup during the holiday season is to recreate your support system. Celebrate love that is still here. And slowly but surely let go of your ex.
When in doubt, pick up a copy of It’s a Breakup, Not a Breakdown Workbook: A 21-Day Action Plan to Plot Your Revenge, Spoil Yourself, and Find Out How Good Your Life Is Without Him and immerse yourself in your very own 21 day recovery program.
And report your successes and setbacks to me on my Facebook Fan Page.
Got questions? Email ask@lisasteadman.com.
Get Your Holiday Style On: Rock your inner goddess!
Submitted by Lisa Steadman on - 8:00 am
Calling all savvy single ladies! Ever wonder why men don’t respond to you the way you’d like?
Could it be your masculine energy? And if so, what’s a girl to do?
Recently, I grabbed my video camera and tripod, and enlisted the expertise of personal image consultant Kim Seltzer of http://eliteimagemakeovers.com/.
Here’s what I love about Kim. She’s not just a guru when it comes to what to wear. She’s also a relationship expert. Love that! So she knows not only what you should wear on dates, but how to score second dates. Woohoo!
Kim revealed five valuable tips for how you can look your best, feel your best, and rock all those holiday parties. She also shared how we can channel our inner goddess so we come across more feminine (and attract men like flies!)
Don’t miss the 2 must-have items you can start wearing today to drive a man wild!
Here’s tip #5:
Holiday 101: The Joys of Being Single
Submitted by Lisa Steadman on December 24, 2009 - 8:39 am
As the saying goes, ‘tis the season to be jolly. But for some, being single during the holidays can be a real drag. Whether it’s the idea of spending yet another Christmas without a significant other, being the only single person at all those family gatherings, or just feeling like another year has flown by without meeting that special someone, being single during the holidays can be overwhelming. But before you cry into your eggnog latte and curl up in the Christmas lights, stop. Take a breath. And get some much-needed perspective.
The key to having a fun and festive holiday season actually has nothing to do with having a significant other or not. In fact, the secret to the celebratory season lies in giving thanks for exactly where you are in life. And for the savvy single, that means celebrating the many joys of being single, especially during the holidays.
Joy #1: No In-Laws
Finding love is hard enough. Finding in-laws you love is even harder. So this season, give thanks that there are no in-laws in your life right now. And that’s a very good thing! No quarrels over whose house you’re spending the holidays at. No guilt trips about when the wedding, baby, and/or big promotion will happen. And as much as your own family may drive you nuts, spend a little extra time appreciating your quirky family members this holiday season. Next year, you may be dealing with your new significant other’s family. And you never know whether you’ll be lucky or not so be grateful for what you’ve got this year.
Joy #2: No Expensive Gifts to Buy
With no significant other to shop for this holiday season, your wallet may be feeling a little fat. You can lighten the load in a myriad of ways. From padding your savings account to splurging on the single friends in your life to doing something charitable for others in need, your hard-earned dollars will find their rightful home soon enough. And in the meantime, give thanks for being single and all the fabulous freedom it affords you this holiday season!
Joy #3: The Mystery of Mistletoe
Sure, it would be nice to have someone special to kiss under the mistletoe at every holiday party this season, but Joy #3 of being single is that you never know who you’ll meet under the mistletoe! You could kiss a couple cuties during the holidays this year. That’s the fun of being single. Knowing that the possibilities are endless, and that your next great kisser may just around the corner, or under the mistletoe. So why not put on your best party dress and flirt a little this holiday season?
Joy #4: The Freedom to Flirt
And speaking of flirting, one of the best things about being single is that you have the freedom to flirt 24-7. Sure, when you’re coupled up you can still engage in the occasional flirt fest. But while you find yourself free of a romantic entanglement at this time of year, live it up! Strike up a conversation with every cutie you meet this holiday season. Whether they smile, respond, and/or ask for your number is irrelevant. The point is to practice, practice, practice your flirting skills. You, my footloose and fancy free friend, have a free pass to flirt your booty off right now. Go for it!
Joy #5: Rejoice. Renew. Reflect
The holidays are the perfect time to take stock of your life as it is and to make any changes for the coming year. And the beauty of being single is that all of the choices are up to you so you get to be incredibly selfish! Really spend some time this holiday season thinking about what you want for your fabulous life. Looking to make a career change? Make it happen! Want to go back to school? Go for it! Serious about finding the love of your life? Enlist the help of friends and experts and make 2010 the best year possible.
Get Your Holiday Style On: Stock your closet with these classic pieces
Submitted by Lisa Steadman on - 8:00 am
Calling all savvy single ladies! Looking to make a splash at all those holiday parties?
Want to get the attention of the cuties in the room but don’t know how?
Feel like you have nothing to wear so you might as well stay home?
Stop the insanity!
Recently, I grabbed my video camera and tripod, and enlisted the expertise of personal image consultant Kim Seltzer of http://eliteimagemakeovers.com/.
Here’s what I love about Kim. She’s not just a guru when it comes to what to wear. She’s also a relationship expert. Love that! So she knows not only what you should wear on dates, but how to score second dates. Woohoo!
Kim revealed five valuable tips for how you can look your best, feel your best, and rock all those holiday parties.
Here’s tip #4:
Get Your Holiday Style On: How to be mysterious AND a man magnet!
Submitted by Lisa Steadman on December 23, 2009 - 8:00 am
Calling all savvy single ladies! Want to know how to look super stylish and capture the interest of cuties?
Recently, personal image consultant Kim Seltzer of http://eliteimagemakeovers.com/ and I window shopped on Montana Avenue in Santa Monica, chatting about style secrets for singles. We fell in love with the cutest boutique called French Lessons. There, we filmed five fab tips singles on how you can look and feel your flirty best this holiday season.
Here’s tip #3:
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