Ready to call in The One? Join my FREE call!
Submitted by Lisa Steadman on November 29, 2009 - 12:00 am
Then you won’t want to miss my FREE call where I reveal 5 simple secrets that’ll change EVERYTHING when it comes to your love life…
EVEN if your subsconscious is telling you these secrets won’t work for you, that they’re only for smarter, prettier, younger women, I encourage you to join the call anyway.
In fact, one of the secrets I’ll reveal has to do with how your subconscious is sabotaging your chances of success.
Before you let her win, stop. Take a deep breath.
And trust that there’s a better way to call in Mr. Right, starting this holiday season!
Join my FREE call on Tuesday, December 1 @ 6pm Pacific where I’ll reveal 5 simple secrets that’ll change EVERYTHING when it comes to your love life.
These secrets are so profound that when I implemented them, I met my husband within 2 months!
Now, I’m not promising you’ll get the same instant results, but now that you know how easy and powerful these secret strategies are, why not implement them THIS WEEK?
Enter your name and email address below to get the call details delivered to your email inbox.
And to ask me your question right now, email ask@lisasteadman.com.
Why Men Cheat During the Holidays
Submitted by Lisa Steadman on November 27, 2009 - 7:00 am
With the holidays upon us, has your To Do list become a mile long? From buying and wrapping presents to scheduling family festivities and travel to finishing up those year-end projects at the office, it’s no wonder that romance falls off the radar! It’s also no surprise when you hear of a man cheating during the holiday season. What causes this rise in infidelity? Is it libido, ego, or, gulp, is it us?
The following are some of the most common reasons men cheat during the holidays…
He doesn’t like the way he’s being treated
Oftentimes, a man cheats because he doesn’t like the dynamic in his current relationship. If he feels like his partner nags him, belittles him, disrespects him, and/or treats him like a child, meeting someone new who treats him with respect, admiration, and with desire will feel incredibly appealing. So what does that have to do with the holidays? With the added stress of that long To Do list, some women may be unconsciously treating their man like he’s yet another thing they have to cross off their list, but they just don’t have time for. And honestly, who wants to be treated that way?
No one! To avoid driving your partner away, spend time every day nurturing your relationship. And not just during the holiday season. All year long, let your partner know how much you love and appreciate him. Ask for the same in return. By being treated the way you want to be treated and ultimately treating your partner with love and respect, you take an important step in affair-proofing your relationship.
He feels ignored/unappreciated
Like it or not, men are wired differently than women. It’s that whole Mars/Venus thing. So when a woman’s attention is diverted by holiday shopping, decorating the home, and/or dealing with party planning and family visits, a man can feel completely ignored and unappreciated. Of course, his first response should be to talk to his partner about how he’s feeling. But again, men are wired differently. Asking to have his needs met can make a man feel weak. Instead, he may look outside the relationship. This is where problems may arise. Instead of summoning his inner strength and asking for love, attention, and/or validation from his partner, a man is much more comfortable seeking these things from another woman. At first, this new woman may only be an emotional confidante. However, over time this female friend may stir up other needs. That’s when a man is likely to initiate physical intimacy. To avoid this danger zone, it’s important to maintain open lines of communication between you and your partner. If and when these feelings of dissatisfaction or hurt surface (during the holidays or any time of year), your man should feel free to discuss them with you, thus eliminating his need for outside emotional companionship.
He’s unhappy and the holidays remind him of what’s missing
The holidays are a time when everyone — both men and women — take stock of their lives. If the year has been good, you’re likely to feel good about the holidays. However, if the year has been difficult, challenging, and/or unsatisfying in terms of career, health, family, finances, and/or relationships, the holiday season may bring on added stress or a deeper level of unhappiness. If he feels like he can’t talk to his partner about this dissatisfaction, a man may look elsewhere for solace. To avoid getting into the dangerous scenario of your partner seeking comfort from another female, it’s once again important to keep those lines of communication open. Even if your year has been stressful — from finance to romance — let your partner know it’s safe for him to express himself about any and all issues. Even if you disagree, give him a secure space to share how he’s feeling. And don’t argue or chastise him for what he says or how he feels. Instead, listen, validate, and let him know he’s been heard. Above all else, it’s important to realize that a difficult year doesn’t have to end in infidelity. Instead, these trying times can bring two people closer, if you’re both willing to be vulnerable, honest, and work together rather than against one another.
He’s bored
Mistletoe, tree trimming, sipping hot cider or egg nog? Let’s face it. All those things that make the holidays fun and exciting for you may just bore your partner to tears. And while that’s no excuse for cheating, infidelity happens. However, this particular relationship rut can be easily remedied. Find out what floats your partner’s boat when it comes to the holiday season. See if he’s got any festive fantasies you can indulge in. By nurturing the novelty of the season together, finding traditions you can both get excited about, and making holiday plans you both enjoy, you’ll not only affair-proof your relationship, but find meaningful ways to deepen your bond during the holiday season and beyond.
Ultimately, the reasons a man cheats during the holidays are the same reasons he’ll cheat any time of year. By keeping a relationship healthy all year long, you remove the risk of your partner cheating, and enjoy the fruits of a successful partnership. If or when you see signs your man might be straying, talk to him. See what’s going on. Together, work to make your relationship affair-proof — during the holidays AND throughout the year.
Top 5 Hot Singles Winter Getaways
Submitted by Lisa Steadman on November 26, 2009 - 7:00 am
‘Tis the season to celebrate being single! While your married with children friends are stuck at home trying to figure out how to assemble their kids’ Christmas presents, you are footloose and fancy free to get away from it all. Whether warmer climates beckon, an adventure on the high seas sparks your interest, or you simply want to slip away for a few days, there’s definitely a destination for you. In case you’re overwhelmed by all your winter getaway choices, I did a little homework and found the top five hot singles getaways this season. And now, for your reading pleasure…
Getaway #1: Set Sail on a Singles Cruise
Once upon a time, cruises catered to couples and families. The romantic dinners, family oriented activities, endless buffets, etc. Those days are over, my friends. All you have to do is Google “singles cruises” to see just how many cruises there are celebrating the single life. Love the idea of snorkeling, scuba diving, and/or hiking in the rain forest alongside your fellow single adventurers? Looking to relax poolside with other single sun worshipers? And what about the never-ending nightlife on board a singles cruise — the dining, dancing, live music, etc.? If the idea of setting sail in the company of like-minded singles appeals to you, then climb aboard this winter for destinations both known (sunnier climates) and unknown (a possible romantic rendezvous?).
Getaway #2: Hit the Slopes, Singles-style
Listen up, ski bunnies and other snow worshipers. One of the hottest singles spots this winter is the ski slope, of course! Whether you snowboard, ski, or spend your day lounging in the lodge, there’s no better place to meet like-minded singles than on a singles ski trip. All it takes is a little research to locate an organized singles ski weekend in your area or bound for your fave snowy slope. Recruit a friend or two to join you or make it a solo ski vacay — you decide. Then pack your parka, load up the skis, and board a bus for a few days of snow, sun, and fun!
Getaway #3: The Girl Getaway
Listen up, Ladies. With girl getaways increasing in popularity, what better time to take one with your best gal pals than this winter? Of course, first you have to decide where to go, and that all depends on your interests. Are you and your friends fanatical about art, wine, and/or culture? Then plan your trip accordingly including museums, wine tastings, and nightlife in Paris, Provence, or Italy. Would you and your posse prefer to get pampered? If so, a spa getaway complete with massages, mani-pedi’s, and facials should do the trick. Or, do you and your g.f.’s share a passion for fashion? Then perhaps a shopping spree weekend in New York City is the girl getaway for you. Regardless of how you and your friends decide to spend your vacation this winter, by spending it together celebrating your fabulous single gal selves, a good time will be had by all. And of course, if you fit in some nightlife complete with a little flirting with the local single guys, all the better!
Getaway #4: The Guy Getaway
OK, Guys. Wish you didn’t have to give up your golf game during the winter? Now you don’t have to. This winter, the hottest single guy getaway lets you not only “get away from it all” but improve your golf game as well. If this sounds like a win-win, then a golf school vacation is the ideal guy getaway for you and your buds. Of course, since you’re single and ready to mingle, golf shouldn’t be the only thing on the agenda. Therefore, you’ll want to find a resort golf school like the Nicklaus/Flick Game Improvement School in Scottsdale or the Advantage Golf School (various locations throughout Arizona) that also feature plenty of other entertainment in the surrounding area, including a happening nightlife. Golf by day, meet beautiful single women by night — what could be better? Be sure to book in advance as these guy getaways are becoming increasingly popular.
Getaway #5: The Do-Gooder Getaway
This holiday season, nothing’s sexier than doing something good for others. And if you’re single, why not combine your free time with a do-gooder getaway, a.k.a. a volunteer vacation? Nothing will make you feel more fulfilled than dedicating your vacation time to a cause near and dear to your heart. From helping to build a school or home in a needy community to swimming with endangered dolphins to record their behavior to tutoring orphaned children, giving back to others this winter is SO the thing to do. Plus, you never know who you might meet. A fellow sexy single with a charitable side? Score! To find out about volunteer vacation programs, visit charityguide.org.
So there you have it — the top five hot getaways for the savvy single this winter. Whether you’re looking to celebrate your single and ready to mingle self, simply want to get away from it all with your friends, or feel the need to do something good for others, there’s definitely a destination to fit your winter wishes.
“If He’s Not The One, WHO Is??”
Submitted by Lisa Steadman on November 25, 2009 - 10:03 am
I’m single. Again. I’m 32 and single again.
There, I’d confessed my darkest sins.
Wait.
I’m 32 and single again and I feel like a total failure at love.
That was the tough love truth. And it stung. The year was 2003. And while my best friends were all settled or settling down with their annoyingly adorable husbands, I was nowhere near the road to happily ever after.
Was that even what I wanted anymore? Truthfully, I didn’t know. What I did know was that while I was no longer in survival mode from my Big Breakup with Mr. Ex, a journey I later chronicled online and in my first book It’s A Breakup, Not A Breakdown, I wasn’t exactly sure where this new destination was. Mr. Wrong was gone. So was the soul crushing agony of getting over him. Somewhere between our last booty call and deleting his number from my cell phone, I was single again.
Did I feel footloose and fancy free? Sure. But with that newfound freedom came some harsh realities. Without my breakup pain to keep me company, I felt a little lost. Empty. Alone. I actually missed missing my ex.
And that’s not all.
If I was completely honest with myself, I was starting to feel like a failure at love. After all, the Big Breakup wasn’t my first breakup. It was but one of many disastrous relationships throughout my 20s and early thirties that seemed like my very own reality show aptly titled, “Loser At Love…Again!” And, as if on cue, at 32 I was starting over. Yet again.
I was living alone. Again.
I was minus a Plus One at parties. Again.
I was faced with the disappointment that Mr. Wrong was not The One. Again.
That’s when the big fat fabulous truth smacked me upside my single and fabulous head.
I was free to reinvent myself. That’s when the fun really began.
When I gave myself permission to let go of any stigma I felt about being the token single girl at parties…
When I embraced the idea that my happily ever after journey might not involve a ring, a ceremony and reception, and/or the pitter patter of little feet (other than my two cats)…
When I woke up to the beautiful truth that because I was single I could be selfishly indulgent, quitting my job, changing careers, and ultimately pursuing the life I’d always dreamed of, I realized that not only was I 32 and single — again — but I was also ready to rock my fabulous single life, BIG TIME.
I, Lisa Steadman, would date lots of wildly exciting and different men (and I did).
I, Lisa Steadman, would live my life according to my own ever-evolving rule book (sometimes casting aside the rules altogether).
I, Lisa Steadman, would take risks, ask for what I wanted, and trust that the universe would take care of me (99% of the time, it did).
And…
I, Lisa Steadman, would never, ever put myself in the position of crying over the wrong guy again (and I didn’t).
Eventually, I did meet an exceptionally exciting and annoyingly adorable man. And while my happily ever after journey evolved to include a sassy strut down the aisle, I did it on my own terms.
I provided my own engagement and wedding rings (family heirlooms that I cherished).
I kept my name (if it ain’t broke, why fix it?).
And the bride wore red (I looked FABULOUS!).
As for the pitter patter of little feet, well, that hasn’t changed. In our household, our two cats still hold court, but who knows?
What I DO know is that if you’re somewhere between the pain of the past and your happily ever after future, and you’re single — again or for the very first time – your chance to find and enjoy your happily ever after has not passed you by. In fact, you’re right on time. Along the way, you’ll discover some great inner truths…
Maybe you’ll decide to be single and fabulous forever.
Maybe you, too, will date wildly exciting and different men until you find your perfect partner (a.k.a. Mr. Right).
Maybe one day you’ll strut your sassy stuff down the aisle, say “I do,” and enjoy the pitter patter of little feet.
Regardless of the end destination, today’s the day to start rocking your new single and fabulous journey. First, you’re going to break free of whatever’s holding you back (or whatever you’re holding onto from your past). Then, you’ll wake up to what’s possible now that Mr. Wrong is gone. From reinventing your savvy single life to letting go of old patterns and behaviors that may be sabotaging your relationship success to understanding the boys to avoid on the dating scene, you’re going to master the art of not only waking up to your new and improved life, but moving on to your revised happily ever after destination. Along the way, you’re going to meet a variety of interesting and available Mr. Nexts, but you’re not going to foolishly give your heart away to just anyone. Instead, you’re going to apply your valuable lessons learned, and in time manifest Mr. Right. Then and only then will you hand over the keys to your healed heart and say “Yes!” to the fantastic future that awaits.
As you move into your fab future, you’re not so much on a quest to answer “Who’s next?” (although you may discover that along the way). You’re actually stepping into a beautifully life shifting journey towards the revelation of “What’s next?”
How fabulous is that?!
(Excerpted from Lisa Steadman’s If He’s Not The One, Who Is?: What Went Wrong – and What It Takes to Find Mr. Right — available January 18, 2010.)
The Savvy Single’s Must-Have Holiday Wish List
Submitted by Lisa Steadman on - 7:00 am
Calling all savvy single ladies! Have you made your list and checked it twice? There’s no doubt you’ve been both naughty and nice this year, so to help round out your holiday wish list the following are five must-have items for the coming year…
For your naughty side…
Whether you’re flying solo these days and need a toy of your very own, or are looking to spice up your sex life with the man in your boudoir, you’ll definitely find what you’re looking for at http://www.blissconnection.com/. And if you’ve got a group of girlfriends looking to spice things up this holiday season, why not have your very own Bliss Pleasure Party during the holidays?
For your celebratory side…
Suddenly single? Recently recycled? Or just looking to show your single gal spirit? Pick up a flirty tee for you or your dog @ singletease.com. From single gal tees with sayings like just ask me (out), support your local library (check me out), and looking for good pick-up lines to adorable tees for your pup with sayings like say hello (we don’t bite), paws-tively single, don’t make me beg (for your #), and pet me (if you’re single), you’ll be flirting and meeting men in no time!
For your dating side…
Looking to rev up your relationship goals in 2009? Why not enlist the help of a dating coach? Join my upcoming 8 Week If He’s Not The One, Who Is? Teleclass, starting in February. When you sign up in 2009, you get a 35% discount AND a free session with me to kick start your journey!
For your pampered side…
Between all those holiday parties, the shopping for gifts, and spending time with family, it’s easy to get overloaded. Be sure to take some time this holiday season just for you. Whether you sneak off for a quick mani-pedi session with your girlfriends, get a relaxing massage at a spa, or splurge on my fave product line of sugar scrubs, lotions, candles, and potions @ Klean Bath & Body, how you pamper yourself is not important. What’s important is that you give yourself the gift of some much needed M-E time this holiday season.
As for that sexy beefcake, hottie hipster, or naughty nerd in disguise who’s on your list, well that part’s up to you. But if you arm yourself with the proper single gal tools, the above items included, you may just snag yourself someone special next year. And in the meantime, celebrate being single. It’s a gift this holiday season so make the most of it!
How to spend 6 weeks with me in 2009, and 8 weeks with me in 2010 for 1/5 the price!
Submitted by Lisa Steadman on November 23, 2009 - 12:56 pm
Last week, I gave a FREE call where I shared five valuable tips for beating the holiday blues and celebrating your single self this holiday season.
Were you on the call?
If not, WHY?
I’ve heard from so many of you who have called, emailed, and IM’d me on Facebook, all saying you’re having a tough time beating the holiday blues right now.
You’re feeling sorry for yourself that you didn’t meet the love of your life in 2009.
You’re over your ex, but you still find yourself obsessing about how they’re spending the holidays (and with who!).
You’re feeling completely behind schedule for the life, the love, and the family you really want.
I get it. And I want to support you through this challenging time.
I actually want you to have fun this holiday season!
That’s why I posted my 5 tips on my blog. You can actually implement all five starting today.
That means you can beat the holiday blues BEFORE you sit down to turkey dinner.
Woohoo!
Imagine spending the next six weeks feeling relaxed, confident, and filled with self love…
Imagine walking into all those holiday parties with a sassy spring in your step because you’re CELEBRATING your single self all season long…
Imagine how ATTRACTIVE you’ll be to all those single and available (and cute!) men when you feel absolutely fabulous about yourself this holiday season…
And imagine standing under the mistletoe with somebody who’s super cute and excited to kiss you!
This is absolutely, positively possible – THIS YEAR!
But you’ve got to break free of the blues you’re feeling and celebrate your most magnificent self.
You can get started today by implementing my five valuable tips.
And for five MORE valuable tips, join my FREE call (based on YOUR requests for more information!) on Tuesday, December 1.
Want hands-on help this holiday season?
(That’s me and some of my AMAZING clients!!!)
Spend the holidays with ME! Sign up for my Holiday Blues Buster package now to get hands on support this holiday season INCLUDING:
- SIX private 60 minute phone calls with me (I’m giving you my private number!)
- UNLIMITED email access (including weekends and holidays)
- Six weekly Sunday evening group chats online for added support
PLUS…
- FREE enrollment in my next 8 Week If He’s Not The One, Who Is? TeleClass, starting in February. (A $697 value PLUS $2,500 in FREE bonuses!)
– An advance autographed copy of my upcoming book If He’s Not The One, Who Is?: What Went Wrong – and What It Takes to Find Mr. Right, not available anywhere else until January 2010.
The value of my Holiday Blues Buster package is over $5,000.
Your investment?
$997.
Am I crazy?
No.
But I am committed to helping each and every one of you who wants to break free of the holiday blues and celebrate the season and YOURSELF.
Actually, that’s not entirely true.
While I want everyone to have a fabulous holiday season, I’m only offering 10 amazing individuals the opportunity to spend the holidays with me in my inner circle.
That’s because the work is so hands-on!
And 2 Holiday Blues Buster packages are already snapped up.
What are you waiting for??? Sign up NOW!
Check out this short video by my client Kerianne who was the first to sign up for my Holiday Blues Buster package after her first coaching session with me…
What are you waiting for???
Sign up for my Holiday Blues Buster package, spend the next six weeks with me, AND enjoy 8 weeks with me in 2010 in my next 8 Week If He’s Not The One, Who Is? TeleClass – ALL FOR JUST $997!
With all the bonuses you receive with this package, you’ll get $5,000 in value for just $997!
Just call me Mrs. Claus! 
But seriously, what are you waiting for? It’s never been (and never will be again) easier or more affordable to work with me both privately AND in a group.
I can’t wait to work with you. But hurry!
After the Breakup: Facing Your Fear Factor
Submitted by Lisa Steadman on November 20, 2009 - 8:54 am
Are you starting the new year suddenly single? Did your breakup throw you for a loop? Are you struggling to figure out how to pick up the pieces and move on?
When healing from a breakup and trying to move on, it’s only natural to be afraid to leave behind your old life, however painful, for a new life you know so little about. But what if instead of looking at your new life as unknown and scary, you see it as exciting, full of possibility, and with the opportunity to experience love, happiness, and fulfillment beyond your wildest dreams? What if the unknown future is more joyful, more satisfying, more amazing than your painful past? The truth is, I know your future holds all of those things. But in order for you to achieve it, YOU need to believe it. First, you may need to let go of your future-based fears.
See which of the fears below resonate most with you. By identifying where you’re stuck, you take the first step to healing and moving on.
Fear #1: Fear of Making a Mistake
What if you were to leap away from the life you’ve known and the ex you may still love, only to regret your decision? What if your new life was more miserable than the old one? Or worse, what if you took a flying leap away from your comfort zone and instead of landing on solid ground, you crashed and burned? The truth is, fear of failure can be powerfully paralyzing. If you let them, the what if’s can keep you stuck in your old life that no longer works — FOREVER.
Can I let you in on a little secret? The only mistake you can make at this point in your recovery is to stay stuck. Whether you know it or not, you’ve already taken a huge leap. The breakup happened. You’re still here. You’re well on your way to surviving and thriving. As the saying goes, feel the fear and do it (a.k.a. leap) anyway!
Fear #2: Fear of the Unknown
What will it be like over there? What if I don’t like it? These are common questions when you’re stuck in your fear of the unknown. But guess what? Whether you did the dumping or got dumped, your past no longer works for you. And your present probably feels an awful lot like limbo, a.k.a. being stuck. The only person who gets hurt in this scenario is you. Everyone else, including your ex, is leaping into their blissful futures. Why not feel the fear, take the leap, and join your friends on the other side? You deserve to move on. And I promise you, you will survive and thrive!
Fear #3: Fear of Leaving Your Old Life Behind
Regardless of how happy or unsatisfied you were with your ex, there was probably comfort in knowing what your immediate future looked like. You most likely knew who you had plans with on Friday and Saturday nights, where you were going for the holidays, and who you could count on in a crisis. And now I’m asking you to leave all that behind for a life you know nothing about? You better believe it! As scary as it sounds, it’s the only sane option. Which means that it would be insane to stay stuck.
Let me repeat that. Staying stuck in your old life and old ways is actually kind of insane. After all, that old life doesn’t actually exist anymore. And staying stuck in the past doesn’t honor the amazing individual you are right now and continue to become, thanks to the breakup. Leaping into your bright and beautiful future is the only sane option available at the moment. But before you leap, you may need to dump any excess emotional baggage, ties to your ex, and/or any old behavior and attitudes that no longer work for you. Think of it this way — you now have permission to not only let go of what no longer works in your life, but to reinvent yourself as well. Go for it!
Fear #4: Fear of Losing Control
There’s a little control freak in all of us (maybe even a big one!). And thanks to the breakup, your control freak is probably freaking out right about now. What about all those plans we had with the ex? What happened to our day-to-day routine? This isn’t control. This is chaos! To put it bluntly, your control freak does NOT want to embrace any more change right now, which means that letting go and leaping are out of the question. But guess what? Change is a natural part of life. Losing control happens from time to time. Going through a breakup forces you to lose control AND face your fears about change and the future. Now’s the time to face those fears and release them so that you’re able to let go and leap. I promise you this. You will not fall to your death. Instead, you are going to soar high in the sky — higher than you probably ever dreamed possible! But first, you gotta lose some of that control.
In reviewing the four reasons you might be feeling fearful about your future, were you able to identify which fear(s) currently hold you back? Regardless of which one resonated most with you, it IS possible to release all your fears and take flight. To put it another way, why wait? What else has to happen before you take that leap? Do you need to:
– Sink further into your post-breakup funk?
– Drive all your friends away with your obsessive rants about your ex?
– Get a (GULP) marriage announcement in the mail from your ex, a clear sign he’s moved on while you’re still stuck?
Why not give yourself permission to let go and leap today? Aren’t you worth it? I think so. But what’s really important is that you think so. Yes, change is scary. Yes, old habits die hard. But what’s harder and scarier is holding on to a past that no longer works, a past that has already moved on without you. And whether you know it or not, it has.
Starting today, let go of your fears moment by moment. Before you know it, you’ll be free to move into your brilliant future.
To kickstart your recovery, join me Thursday, January 22 at 6:30 P.M. Pacific for a free teleseminar on how you, too, can survive and thrive following your breakup. In the meantime, if you need coaching through this difficult time, email me at Lisa@LisaSteadman.com
Good luck and happy healing!
Single Again, Now What?
Submitted by Lisa Steadman on - 8:54 am
After a breakup or divorce, starting over can be hard. Starting over when you’re the only single person you know can be even harder. You may start questioning your value, grow increasingly insecure, and/or obsess about if and when you’ll find your perfect partner. However, instead of stressing about being the only single in your social circle, celebrate it! The following tips will show you how.
Tip #1: Be your own arm candy
When you’re the only one single in your social circle, it’s all too easy to get down on yourself. Everyone else seems so happily hooked up that, especially when you’re going through a dating dry spell, you can start to feel isolated, alienated, and/or insecure. Sound familiar? If so, stop. Instead of dreading going solo to your next social outing while everyone else has a date, give yourself permission to be your own arm candy. Buy yourself a fab new outfit, slip into those sky high stilettos (or sexy sandals, bold boots, etc.), channel your inner diva, and make a confident entrance your friends will not soon forget. Not only that, but turn on the charm, practice a little harmless flirting, and in general be your most fabulous self. By letting go of any fears and/or insecurities you hold about being the only single person in the group, you allow yourself to enjoy the fun and freedom that goes along with being footloose and fancy free.
Tip #2: Celebrate being single
While it can sometimes feel like being single is a life sentence you’re forced to endure, it’s simply not true. In fact, being single is nothing more than a state of mind. So while you’re in the single stage of life, why not celebrate? Enjoy the freedom to come and go as you please, take pleasure in the endless dating possibilities by putting yourself in target rich environments on a regular basis, and give yourself permission to flirt with cute strangers as often as possible. By making the most of this extraordinary time in your life, you take the pressure off of when you’re going to find your perfect partner, and instead celebrate Y-O-U and the amazing life you already have.
Tip #3: Enlist your friends for help
Instead of looking at your circle of happily hooked up friends as a liability, consider them an asset. After all, your friends’ boyfriends and husbands probably know a single guy or two worth meeting. Why not enlist their help by asking about their single friends? If they seem uncomfortable, let them know that they don’t have to play Cupid. All you’re asking them to do is invite these friends to your next social gathering so that you can get to know one another in a casual group setting. No pressure. If your friends still seem unwilling to help, they may need to be reminded that being single has its challenges and if the tables were turned, you’d gladly help them. Chances are, they’ll be more than happy to lend a hand.
Tip #4: Widen your social circle
If you feel that being the only savvy single in your social circle is keeping you from meeting potential partners and/or in any way makes you feel bad about yourself, it may be time to widen your social network. Start by taking a look around your current network. There may be other fun and fab singles under your nose that you just haven’t noticed before. Maybe a friendly coworker, neighbor, or friend of a friend. If so, great! Invite them to do something social just the two of you in the near future. If it goes well, continue nurturing that relationship, and join forces to “get out there,” enjoying target rich environments on a regular basis together.
If on the other hand, you don’t know any other singles in your existing social network, do yourself a favor and widen your circle further. Look into singles groups, joined a networking organization, and/or take a class/pursue a passion where you’re likely to meet like-minded singles (not to mention potential dates). Stumped for ideas? Do something fun like enroll in a salsa/swing/line dancing class, take a gourmet cooking course, or participate in a foreign language conversation group. This is a great way to meet new people while doing something you enjoy anyway. Talk about a win-win!
There will be times when being the only single person in your social circle will feel incredibly stifling. But just as it’s important to enjoy this stage in life and broaden your network of friends, it’s equally important to practice patience. Being single isn’t something to suffer endlessly through. Instead, with a slight attitude adjustment, you can easily fall in love with your footloose and fancy free life. In doing so, you take the pressure off, and celebrate Y-O-U for the amazing individual that you are.
Ready to Rejoice, Renew, Reflect?
Submitted by Lisa Steadman on November 18, 2009 - 7:00 am
As the holidays approach, are you approaching with sadness, despair, and disappointment over your last relationship?
I’ve got another great tip to celebrate your single self this holiday season…
If so, that’s okay. But it’s time for a reality check.
Instead of feeling sorry for yourself this holiday season, take the time to rejoice, renew, and reflect.
Ask yourself these questions:
– How did this year go?
– Where do I want to go next year?
– What do I want to celebrate that I learned this year, even if it was painful to learn it?
– What do I want to let go of that no longer serves me?
Can pick it up at a
– What do I want to accomplish in the new year that I need to change my behavior to do?
Spend some time this holiday season rejoicing, renewing and reflecting. As you do, you will see that you are not behind schedule with your life, you are actually right on time.
For hands on help, How to be a Holiday Flirt!
Submitted by Lisa Steadman on November 17, 2009 - 7:00 am
I want you to become a flirting master!
Now, you don’t have to lose 20 pounds to rock your inner flirt.
You don’t have to get plastic surgery or get a new wardrobe either.
Flirting can happen anytime, anywhere, with anyone.
When you’re at the grocery store and looking for produce, keep a look out for the cuties in your vicinity. Smile, make eye contact, and give him permission to approach.
By giving yourself permission to be open and to see who’s in your environment, you can start flirting and having fun today. This is your chance to reclaim your fabulousness, and what better time then the holiday season!
To celebrate your sassy self, report your progress to me @ ask@lisasteadman.com.
