Worried about the love you’re not GETTING?
Submitted by Lisa Steadman on October 10, 2009 - 11:00 pm
Worried about the love you’re not GETTING? Maybe it’s time you started focusing on the love you’re not GIVING…
Here’s what I mean. When you spend all your free time thinking about how someone did you wrong, doesn’t love you anymore, or feeling sorry for yourself in any way, you’re focusing on what you’re not GETTING from a source outside yourself.
When you start with love from WITHIN, you’re already GIVING to yourself, removing the lack, scarcity, or fear that something’s missing.
Life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans
Submitted by Lisa Steadman on - 11:00 pm
Friday was my 38th birthday. I woke up in Malibu, went for a walk on the beach, enjoyed one last breakfast out on my private patio, gave thanks for all the blessings in my life, and packed my car for the trek home.
Truthfully, I wasn’t quite ready to leave, but The Hubs was flying home from being away on business all week, and I was excited to get home, tidy up the place, and welcome him with open arms.
Life had other plans.
As I pulled my car out of the hotel parking lot and onto Pacific Coast Highway, it sputtered. I revved the gas. My usually trusty car responded with silence. Right in the middle of PCH, my car died.
Several four letter words exited my mouth.
I looked in my rearview mirror at the line of cars behind me, and wondered if we’d both make it to safety unscathed.
Then my car started again. And the check engine light turned on. I pulled into the right lane, drove for a few feet, sputtering and spewing, and realized we would never make the hour long trek home.
I pulled off PCH in time for my car to die completely. I then whipped out my trusty AAA card, called for assistance, and asked that the tow truck driver tow me across town to Silverlake where my mechanic could diagnose the problem.
Two hours later, my tow truck driver arrived. In the interim, I had gone from mildly amused to slightly frustrated to downright pissed off. I’d just spent 4 relaxing days on the beach and this was my birthday present? Argh!
Upon arrival, the tow truck driver took his sweet time getting out of his vehicle. I think we had a glare down in the meantime. While two hours ago, I could’ve gotten across town in an hour, at three o’clock on a Friday afternoon, it would take two hours to get home. And that wasn’t even factoring in talking to my mechanic about the problem. To make matters worse, the tow truck driver tried to talk me out of towing me across town.
Go somewhere local, he said. I’m just trying to save you money.
I wasn’t born yesterday. This guy wasn’t trying to save me money. He clearly didn’t want to make the trek across town. But my will was stronger than his. I looked him in the eye and said, smiling, You’re taking me to Silverlake. Let’s go.
As we buckled in and started on our journey, my tow truck driver started telling me his life story. At first . I didn’t care how much he made in overtime to do jobs like the one he was doing for me. I also didn’t care that he was perpetually overdrawn in his bank account and didn’t seem to know how to manage his money. I wanted to turn to him and say Buddy, it’s my birthday and my car died and my Malibu Zen is fading fast. And I’m stuck in a car with you for the next hour and a half. If one of us has problems right now, it’s definitely me!
But something told me to keep my mouth shut. And so I started asking more questions and really listening to what he was saying.
As it turns out, my tow truck driver had lost his wife six months earlier. He didn’t say what she died of, but he was pretty broken up about it. And his 14-year-old daughter was, too. She was living in Vegas with her grandparents because he was too much of a mess to help her right now. And his new girlfriend was feeling like she had a pretty big shoes to fill, which was causing arguments at home.
In the past, I would have spent the entire drive judging my tow truck driver. But not that day. Instead, a little voice inside (most likely the same voice that had told me, Go to Malibu a week earlier) said Act with compassion. And so I did.
During our journey across town, I realized that it really didn’t matter if my car was being towed. It also didn’t matter that I had to wait two hours for a tow truck. And regardless of how much it cost to fix my car, I knew there was money to cover it.
Rather than judge my tow truck driver for his life choices and poor money management skills, I realized that acting with kindness and compassion was a far better way to go. For both of us. And so I continued listening and asking questions. I offered advice when he asked and affirmation when he needed it.
It may sound strange, but I think my tow truck driver needed ME to accompany him across town as much as I needed HIM to drive me. Clearly, he needed someone to talk to. And while I had initially thought I had better things to do, I didn’t. This was where I needed to be. And that was okay.
When we finally got across town, I tipped my tow truck driver and told him I was sorry for his loss. I also told him things would get easier in time. He said he sure hope so and that he really appreciated me being willing to listen to him. I told him it was my pleasure. And I meant it!
We then parted ways, my tow truck driver heading back to Malibu to finish his shift before heading to Vegas to see his troubled daughter, and me to unpack from my week away and get the house ready for The Hubs and our big anniversary/birthday bash Saturday night.
On my birthday, I got some truly great gifts — gentle reminders that I live a beautiful life. Yes, my mom was in the hospital earlier this week, but she seems healthier and happier because of it. And yes, there were expenses associated with my car repairs, but nothing I can’t absorb. And for the moment, my loved ones are all safe, happy, and healthy. That is the greatest gift of all. And the icing on the cake is that I got to spend Saturday evening in the company of many of my dearest friends and family as we celebrated my one year wedding anniversary and both my and my husband’s birthday.
Today, I invite you to reflect on the many blessings and gifts in your own life. Why you may focus on the struggles, take time to celebrate your successes, triumphs, and blessings. I know they’re there. Seek them out and celebrate them. Post a comment here and let me know what your greatest blessings are. I’d love to hear them!
Are you ready to pledge your allegiance – TO YOUR HEALED HEART?
Submitted by Lisa Steadman on October 9, 2009 - 11:00 pm
Today’s the day to commit to your healing heart once and for all.
Raise your right hand and repeat after me…
I, STATE YOUR NAME, being of sound mind and healing heart, pledge to take excellent care of my heart moving forward.
I promise to never again give my heart away foolishly
I promise to never again ignore red flags
I promise to never again settle for less than I deserve
What else do you want to promise today?
If He’s Not The One TeleClass Open for Enrollment (HURRY!)
Submitted by Lisa Steadman on - 11:43 am
Woohoo! After 4 glorious days in Malibu where I put the finishing touches on my enhanced 8 Week If He’s Not The One, Who Is? Teleclass curriculum, I’m thrilled to report that enrollment is now OPEN!
Sign up NOW @ ifhesnottheonewhois.com
Here’s the scoop…
I’ve talked to dozens of women who have all shared their deepest DESIRES with me. Things like…
I’m READY to let go of what doesn’t work, Lisa. What do I do NOW?
I’m DONE believing this is ALL I get when it comes to love. How do I CHANGE?
If my ex WASN’T The One, Who Is? And how do I get it right next time?
These are all EXCELLENT and important questions. And we’ll be delving into these topics and more in my ENHANCED 8 week class.
You can get the FULL details, including how you can take advantage of over $2,500 in AMAZING FREE BONUSES by going here: ifhesnottheonewhois.com
Hurry! Only 10 spots are available!
If you’re REALLY ready to change the kind of results you get in dating and calling in The One, then you’ll want to act FAST and sign up NOW. Only 10 spots are open!
(If you’ve already signed up for my 8 Week Heal Your Heart By the Holidays Teleclass, your enrollment has been transferred over to this advanced program.)
Are you REALLY ready? Let’s go!
DON’T MISS YOUR CHANCE TO CHANGE YOUR FUTURE.
It would be an absolute shame.
Sign up NOW @ ifhesnottheonewhois.com
Is your breakup (or being single) making you insane?
Submitted by Lisa Steadman on October 8, 2009 - 11:00 pm
When it comes to healing your heart or getting back out onto the dating scene, are you making yourself insane?
First, let’s define insanity. It’s the act of doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.
Now, let me ask you again. Is your post-breakup behavior making you nuts?
Or are you so freaked out about being single that you keep attracting the same bad boys, emotionally unavailable men, and losers?
Stop the insanity!
Take a step back and look at what you’re doing that’s not working.
Then pledge to change your behavior.
Still crying over your ex? Put an EX-piration date on your boohoo!
Submitted by Lisa Steadman on October 7, 2009 - 10:15 am
Take a look at the calendar. New Year’s Eve is less than two months away.
Where do you want to be by then?
Would you like to still be crying over your ex?
I didn’t think so.
To make sure you’re not still hung up on your ex on New Year’s Eve, put an expiration date on your post-breakup boohoo. remember that you are an amazing woman who deserves to heal her heart and move on.
Not only that, you deserve to manifest the real love deal in 2010, if you want to.
But first, you’ve got to exorcise your ex from your heart and head.
How do you do that? Look at the calendar and put an expiration date on your suffering. Seriously, what a big ex through the date on the calendar. And then take steps every day so that you can meet your goals with effortless ease.
It may sound too simplistic, but here’s the deal. By stepping into the DECISION to let go of your ex by a certain date, you make it so.
Have you lost your mojo?
Submitted by Lisa Steadman on October 6, 2009 - 5:00 am
Whether you recently went through a breakup or are struggling to get back out there after healing your heart, do you feel like you’ve lost your mojo?
Maybe, it seems that your ex took your fabulous factor with him when he went away…
Or mean be you feel frumpy, on interesting, and unsexy now that you’re single…
Or maybe you’ve convinced yourself that the only amazing thing about you was your ex…
You couldn’t be more wrong.
Starting today, rediscover your mojo. Tap into your fabulous factor. When in doubt, pick up a copy of It’s A Breakup Not A Breakdown: Get over the big one and change your life – for good! and It’s a Breakup, Not a Breakdown Workbook: A 21-Day Action Plan to Plot Your Revenge, Spoil Yourself, and Find Out How Good Your Life Is Without Him.
Both books will show you step-by-step how to reconnect to all the reasons you’re still fabulous.
Do the recommended exercises throughout books. In no time, you will have rediscovered and reinvigorated your oh so fabulous mojo. Woohoo!
I’m back! Let’s chat (TONIGHT)!
Submitted by Lisa Steadman on October 5, 2009 - 9:43 am
Wow! I woke up this morning feeling absolutely, positively inspired, hopeful, and full of fire!
Let me explain why.
Last week, I had the pleasure of attending my business coach Gina Ratliffe’s 5 day event called Purpose, Platform, Profits. It was absolutely a life-altering.
From plowing through money blocks, limiting success beliefs, and being in the presence of the most incredible, savvy, smart men and women — both on stage and in the audience – I can safely say I’m a changed woman.
And I finally know what I want to do when I grow up! 
I spent the last four years working with women who are healing and moving on, following a breakup. And I have loved every minute of it. It’s been and honor and a privilege to work with, coach, and guide so many exceptional ladies away from the pain of their past and into their blissful future.
As I have evolved in my own life — meeting the love of my life, getting married, and writing books — my hopes, dreams, and ambitions have evolved, too. Part of me thought I would always work specifically with women going through a breakup.
But I was wrong.
This past week, I discovered I have an even greater passion. It’s showing single women who are tired of getting off at the jerk exit on the road to happily ever after how to get a different result.
Sound familiar? Do you find yourself in relationship after relationship feeling frustrated, unfulfilled, and like you wanna tear your hair out?
Are you convinced that happily ever after is only available to people less complicated, much prettier, or a lot happier than you?
I am here to tell you it’s just not true. And that is so fabulous!
Wow, the energy I’m feeling right now is all electric. I’ve got goosebumps I’m so excited!
I want to help you to stop getting off at the jerk exit, and instead find exits that are more joy filled, loving, and mutually fulfilling. I think that’s what you want, too.
Actually, I’d love to know what you want.
Why don’t you tell me? Join me tonight on my FREE call where you can ask me anything and together we’ll create a roadmap of where you want to go so that you can stop getting off at that jerk exit and instead say Hello! to Mr. Fabulous.
Can I get a Woohoo!?
So what are you waiting for? Join me tonight for an inspired call where we will change the course of your happily ever after future. I can’t wait!
How to get a bangin’ post-breakup body
Submitted by Lisa Steadman on - 1:05 am
Feeling fat, ugly, and frumpy following a breakup? Put down the chocolate and pick up those 5 lb weights!
According to stepitupwithsteph.com’s Stephanie Mansour, the best way to feel better is to get your body moving. Endorphins are your new b.f.f. So put on your girl-power music and dance your booty off. Or crunch your abs into shape. Or grab your iPod and go for a run.
When you feel tighter, you’ll feel sexier. And when you feel sexier, your confidence will soar.
The real results?
Increased self confidence PLUS decreased desire to be with your ex. Talk about a win-win!
Breakup advice from Marianne Williamson
Submitted by Lisa Steadman on October 4, 2009 - 6:00 am
I recently had the pleasure of hearing Marianne Williamson speak at my business coach Gina Ratliffe’s Purpose, Platform, Profits event.
For those of you who don’t know Marianne, let me tell you who she is.
Marianne Williamson is an internationally acclaimed spiritual teacher. She is the author of numerous books including The Age of Miracles, A Return to Love, and A Woman’s Worth.
In addition to being one of the world’s great thought leaders, Marianne also founded Project Angel Food, a meals-on-wheels program that serves homebound people with AIDS in the Los Angeles area.
While she shared many profound insights during her talk at this conference, one of the most profound thoughts Marianne shared was this…
When it comes to pain and disappointment, we can always absorb the loss.
What does this mean?
It means that regardless of how overwhelming a situation can feel, we are always capable of surmounting it.
And I’m not just talking about surviving. I’m talking about THRIVING.
We may not know it in the moment, but we are always stronger and more resilient than we know.
If you are feeling pain, loss, disappointment, etc., know that you can absorb it and move through it To something better. Just stay strong and have faith.
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