Are you waiting for your ex to come back? (Part 2 of 2)

Submitted by Lisa Steadman on March 27, 2009 - 7:00 am

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Think your ex is above such heartless behavior as staying connected to you while still moving on? Think again. These post-breakup tactics are not limited to jerks, assholes, and players. Good men, honest men, kind men, men like your ex do this because we let them. Because on some level we accept their behavior. We say it’s okay because we still love them. We silently agree to be nothing more than a booty call because our heart tells us it’s better than being nothing to our ex. Maybe we can’t have the relationship we once had, but we can still hold onto our ex in some tiny way. Yes, it’s painful, but it’s also comfortable, familiar, and it means we don’t have to take any risks. Risks like walking away and focusing on our future.

We couldn’t be more wrong.

Maybe we are from different planets. But unlike the fair and balanced relationships we like to have on Venus, on Mars it’s perfectly acceptable to sleep with your ex, date someone new, fall in love, and kick your ex to the curb once things get serious. Ouch!
So what’s a savvy gal like you to do? For starters, wake up and smell the reality. Second, wise up and stop letting your ex back into your life. In fact, get rid of everything that reminds you of him, including old photos, his t-shirt you’re still secretly sleeping in, and any remaining connections to him online. You know what I’m talking about, Facebook lurker!

In doing so, you take your power back. You also take an important step into your more realistic future. Guess what else? In stepping beyond the invisible electric fence your ex has had around your heart, you create the space for someone new and amazing to come into your life, when you’re ready. Woohoo!

Now, I think I’ve done a pretty good job illustrating the dangers of staying connected to your ex or holding out hope for one last reunion. But let’s review one last time.

Regardless of how many times you’ve broken up and gotten back together, thought you were meant to be, and/or still compare every guy you meet to your ex, it’s time for a serious reality check. If you’re putting your fabulous future on hold indefinitely, how long are you willing to wait? How much more time are you willing to waste? And what’s it going to take for you to completely disconnect your heart from your ex?

Right here and now, I invite you to walk away for good. I know it’s scary. The big, bad unknown future is out there in front of you. But isn’t it time you explored it by cutting off all ties to your ex, including the emotional ones? Today, give yourself permission to stop looking over your shoulder waiting for him to come back one last time and instead commit to yourself and what lies ahead for you.

Good luck and happy healing!