“How do I survive an avalanche breakup?”

Submitted by Lisa Steadman on February 22, 2009 - 7:59 am

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Forbsey writes: My girlfriend of 3 years recently broke up with me. She was my first love, I had been in love with her for a good 6 years as we were best friends at school though she never saw me that way. I helped her through her first serious breakup and 3 months later she realised she wanted me. We have been through alot, a miscarriage, her ex boyfriend always being around trying to get her back but through all of it we stayed strong and loved each other. No cheating ever happened and we had it all. Suddenly she said that she wants to be with me forever but not for now and maybe in a year we will get back. It was so sudden!! I cry all the time and it’s been a month already.

Lisa writes: Avalanche breakups are especially tough because we just don’t see them coming! If you’re still shaking your head and wondering why?, chances are your breakup was an avalanche. And it’s no wonder you sometimes feel like you can’t breathe. You’ve just been emotionally buried! In the case of an avalanche breakup, you may also be feeling betrayed, irrational, devastated, angry.

To add insult to injury, your ex has left the door open for the possibility of a future relationship. Typically, when someone tells us they want to be with us, just not right now, it’s their way of trying to let us down easily. But the truth is, it leaves us hanging because we’re expecting a future with them. It gives us no closure, and no ability to move on.

You deserve to move on! But it’s up to you. Take it day by day. Avoid contact with your ex. And remind yourself that you deserve healthy and happy love in your life. If your ex can’t give it to you, someone else eventually will. But you first have to heal your broken heart and ready yourself for a whole relationship.

If you don’t have a Boo-Hoo Crew, get one. Or join the message board and share your story with other breakup survivors. It’s so important to have a support system right now!

Give it time. It will get easier. And in the meantime, celebrate your slump. It’s okay to cry, mourn, grieve. You’ll know when you’re done celebrating your slump. But for now, embrace the slump!

Good luck and happy healing!