It’s over…now what?

Submitted by Lisa Steadman on January 5, 2009 - 6:59 am

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Congratulations on your breakup.

Nobody ever says that, do they?

But they should.

Let me say it again.

Congratulations on your breakup!

See, I added an exclamation point this time because it really is BIG. All breakups are significant in some way because of what they ultimately teach us about ourselves. And The Big Breakup is especially significant. If you’re going through it then you know what I’m talking about. The relationship was big. The breakup was definitely big. The resulting pain is big. Maybe even the relief is big. And I’ve got news for you — the movin’ on is really B-I-G. Regardless of whether your most recent breakup was big or small (or somewhere in between), there’s plenty to learn from the experience. Now’s the time to realize that it’s not called a breakup because you’re breaking down. It’s called a breakup because you’re breaking UP with a relationship that’s no longer working, and moving ON to a life better suited for you. Even if you were the one who got broken up with, you now have the chance to move ONWARD and UPWARD. It won’t always be easy. After all, we’re talking about a breakup and that’s never easy. But don’t worry — it’s not all pain and anguish. Sure, breakups are painful but they’re also freeing and fabulous because they free us UP to be our most FABULOUS selves.

If you’re going through a breakup, you may think your life will never be the same again. I’ve got news for you — it won’t. But that’s fantastic! The truth is all breakups change us in some way. And the Big Breakup changes everything. Mine did and yours will, too. I’m not saying your breakup will cause you to make drastic and unnecessary changes to your life, but it will most likely make you look at your life in a new light. It will bring up the inevitable questions What do I want to do now? What really makes me happy? I think you’ll be surprised by the answers that come to you.

Today you may be feeling empowered and healthy about your breakup. Or you may be filled with doubt, despair, and confusion. Don’t worry. During your post-breakup recovery you’ll most likely feel like you’re on an emotional roller coaster. You’ll go back and forth between the two emotional extremes many times before you fully move on. That’s perfectly normal. Just ride it out. Trust that you will get through this and you’ll be stronger for doing so. Not only that — you WILL survive and even thrive without Mr. Ex. Regardless of how you’re feeling right now, you are not broken. Your heart may feel like it’s been shattered into a trillion tiny pieces but it’s still there. It’s still beating. It still loves you. It still believes in love. (It just needs a little time to heal first.)

You may be thinking nobody knows what you’re going through. That nobody knows how hard this is. I’m here to remind you it’s not true. I’m here to give you a big fat medal for just making it through the day. I’m also here to welcome you to the rest of your life. A life full of amazing adventures, should you choose them. You no longer have to settle for less than you deserve. Or put up with someone else’s unclaimed baggage.

I have a secret for you. There’s someone better suited for you out there. When the time is right, you can have the relationship you truly deserve – a happy, healthy, whole one. But you have to first give yourself permission to wake up, break up, and move on.

This is the point where I once again remind you…

CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR BREAKUP!!!

And I ask you to join me this time.

Say it loud, say it proud…

“CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR (MY) BREAKUP!!!”

Didn’t that feel good?

Okay, you may be saying. That did feel kind of good. But now what?

I’ll tell you what now.

You are now ready to get down to the business of recovering from your Big Breakup. You’re going to soon know what other breakup survivors know — that this breakup is one of the best things that will ever happen to you. That one day in the not too distant future you’ll be minding your own business, actively involved in your amazing life, and it will hit you – I’m over him. And not only that, your next thought will be Thank God he got away!

It’s okay not to be there yet. It takes time. And we’ve got all the time in the world. After all, this is your life and nothing’s more important than getting you through this. Don’t think of your breakup as a breakdown. Think breaking UP. It’s time to break UP and move on. (Don’t worry — I’ll show you how!)

To kickstart your recovery, join me Thursday, January 22 at 6:30 P.M. Pacific for a free teleseminar on how you, too, can survive and thrive following your breakup. In the meantime, if you need coaching through this difficult time, email me at Lisa@LisaSteadman.com

Good luck and happy healing!

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