Back to Breakup Basics

Submitted by Lisa Steadman on December 29, 2008 - 6:59 am

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Recently, one of my best girlfriends went through a breakup. And even though I spend almost every day talking about breakups, helping people heal, guiding individuals away from the pain of their past and into their magnificent futures, it’s been awhile since someone I knew personally got their heart broken.

It reminds me just how hard it is to start over again. Even when you know it’s the right thing to do. Even when you know he’s not capable of being your perfect partner. Even when the other areas of your life (career, friends, family, home, health, spirituality, etc.) rock.

Maybe it’s especially difficult when all of the other areas rock. Because it reminds you of what’s really missing. Someone to share it with.

My friend is doing everything right in rocking her recovery. She bought my book, signed up for my newsletter, is reading and following the advice in my emails, and is focused on her bright future.

She still cries. She still feels the loss. She still wonders why, in her mid-30s, she’s starting over yet again.

I remember feeling that way. I remember looking around at all of my happily hooked up friends who were married, starting families, their lives seemingly perfect. And there I was, once again single, once again starting over, once again on my own.

In hindsight, it was an exciting time for me. I got to reinvent myself. Got to loudly and proudly proclaim what I truly wanted in life. Got to date exciting, interesting, and amazing men. And eventually I met someone new, someone better suited for me. Someone I’m now blissfully married to.

I’m equally excited for this time in my friend’s life. I know amazing things are just around the corner for her. Her business is going to take off. Her new home, when she finds it, will be a sassy sanctuary for her. Unlike the sterile environment she shared with her ex, this new home will be filled with love, life, laughter. I’m excited to be a part of it! I’m excited to see what’s around the corner for her.

It’s funny. I get this way with my own clients, too. Once we move past the initial pain and heartache, we get to the good stuff. The juicy stuff. The Aha! moments of discovering that not only are you going to survive your breakup, but you’re going to thrive. And what comes next is truly divine – your new and improved happily ever after, a future you design, create, and manifest on your terms. Can I get a Woohoo!?

Here’s to your happily ever after, whatever it looks like. May you manifest it in 2009!