Decoding the Emotional Affair

Submitted by Lisa Steadman on September 25, 2008 - 8:25 am

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Once upon a time, having an affair involved sex, secrets, and scandal. In today’s world of work spouses, 24/7 access to information, and the ability to have an online life that is entirely separate from your offline life, it may be that affairs of the heart are becoming more commonplace, not to mention more complicated.

However, unlike affairs of the past that involved physical intimacy, today’s affairs can be strictly emotional. So what, exactly, constitutes an emotional affair – and are you having one without even knowing it? The following questions will help you decode an emotional affair, helping you uncover the dangers as well as possible escape routes, should you need one.

Are you an Emotional Confidante?
The debate about whether or not men and women can just be friends continues in the 21st century. And while it’s perfectly acceptable to be friendly with members of the opposite sex, becoming an emotional confidant is trickier, especially when one or both of you are involved in other relationships. The question you really need to ask yourself in this situation is this: Do you/they provide emotional intimacy that their/your partner doesn’t? If the answer is yes, does that automatically mean you’re having an emotional affair? Not necessarily. But the question remains: Why are you, rather than their partner, the emotional confidant? Signs that you may be having an emotional affair include secretly e-mailing, texting, or chatting online 24/7 without one’s partner knowing about it, confiding more in the other person than you do in your romantic partner, and/or hiding things from or lying to your partner about your relationship with the other person.

Read the full article on eHarmony here.

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