Blast from the Dating Past
Submitted by LJMaggie on September 30, 2008 - 8:14 am
Contributor LJMaggie experiences an unexpected blast from her dating past…
It was a busy Sunday at work in the store as families were doing their last minute Back-to-School shopping. I was explaining to a couple our return policy when I looked up and saw him. At first I wasn’t sure it was him but he kept looking at me as if he recognized me too. It had to be him, the salt and pepper almost shaved hair, the glasses and the smile.
We had talked, emailed and texted for almost 2 months but only met up once. It was a great date but because of our schedules and the distance he decided it wouldn’t work. We have stayed in touch through texts but haven’t seen each other in almost 6 months. When I saw him my heart started beating faster and I was almost shaking. I wasn’t sure why, we didn’t have this long whirlwind romance. So why I was freaking out?
After he left I sent him a text to ask if that was him. He acted like he didn’t see me, but maybe he didn’t recognize me. Maybe he thought he knew who I was but couldn’t place me. We had only seen each other through photos and once in person. It was very possible he didn’t realize it was me. He did say he was in the area with his sons hanging out. I knew immediately it was him. We continued flirting through texts the rest of the day and he even talked about meeting up again soon. He has said that before so I didn’t put too much into it but did get excited about the idea. It would be nice to hang out with him again and see if something could happen. Our conversations were long and always about the most random things. We have similar tastes and interests.
The old me would have done anything to see if it could work or even find out when we could meet up again. But the new me has realized it is okay to run into old flames, say hi and not expect anything to happen again. Sometimes the past can shake you up a bit but always remember to focus on the future.
Decoding the Emotional Affair
Submitted by Lisa Steadman on September 25, 2008 - 8:25 am
Once upon a time, having an affair involved sex, secrets, and scandal. In today’s world of work spouses, 24/7 access to information, and the ability to have an online life that is entirely separate from your offline life, it may be that affairs of the heart are becoming more commonplace, not to mention more complicated.
However, unlike affairs of the past that involved physical intimacy, today’s affairs can be strictly emotional. So what, exactly, constitutes an emotional affair – and are you having one without even knowing it? The following questions will help you decode an emotional affair, helping you uncover the dangers as well as possible escape routes, should you need one.
Are you an Emotional Confidante?
The debate about whether or not men and women can just be friends continues in the 21st century. And while it’s perfectly acceptable to be friendly with members of the opposite sex, becoming an emotional confidant is trickier, especially when one or both of you are involved in other relationships. The question you really need to ask yourself in this situation is this: Do you/they provide emotional intimacy that their/your partner doesn’t? If the answer is yes, does that automatically mean you’re having an emotional affair? Not necessarily. But the question remains: Why are you, rather than their partner, the emotional confidant? Signs that you may be having an emotional affair include secretly e-mailing, texting, or chatting online 24/7 without one’s partner knowing about it, confiding more in the other person than you do in your romantic partner, and/or hiding things from or lying to your partner about your relationship with the other person.
Read the full article on eHarmony here.
Here’s what eHarmony has to say about The Relationship Journalist.
Lisa on Loveology U’s Ask The Expert Series
Submitted by Lisa Steadman on September 23, 2008 - 10:05 am
A while back, I had the pleasure of meeting and being interviewed by Dr. Ava Cadell, media therapist, sexpert, and founder of Loveology University. Dr. Ava and I chatted about all aspects of breaking up including how to handle contact with your ex, how to avoid the post-breakup emotional pitfalls, and eventually, how to enjoy your fab single life. To check out my Loveology video interview, go here.
Breakup Tip of the Week: Do not cyberstalk your ex
Submitted by Lisa Steadman on - 8:02 am
In order to heal and move on, you’ve gotta disconnect from your ex online…
Good luck and happy healing!
Last Chance To Become a Breakup Rock Star!
Submitted by Lisa Steadman on September 22, 2008 - 8:50 am
Calling all breakup survivors! Feeling stuck? Don’t know how to move on? I’ve got news for you. In just 24 hours you can become a Breakup Rock Star!
First, let me ask you…
Are you in need of a Boo-hoo Crew?
Have your friends completely given up on you and your breakup
recovery?
Or do you feel so isolated following your breakup that you haven’t even asked for help?
Help is here! I’ve got a handful of spaces left in my next 4 week Breakup Rock Star Recovery tele-course beginning this Tuesday, September 23. Together, we’ll discover:
* How to kick start your recovery, regardless of how hopeless you feel right now
* How to completely cut your ex out of your life and let the healing begin
* How to stop obsessing about what went wrong or what could have been
* How to create a future that’s more exciting and loving than your past
* Simple steps you can take every day to rock your recovery
When you sign up to become a breakup rock star, you’ll enjoy:
* 4 weekly group telecalls, complete with live Q& A at the
end of each session (and mp3s in case you miss the call)
– Tuesday, September 23 6:30-8pm Pacific
– Tuesday, September 30 6:30-8pm Pacific
– Tuesday, October 7 6:30-8pm Pacific
– Tuesday, October 14 6:30-8pm Pacific
* Up to 4 email exchanges per week with me, your personal guide from Boohoo! to Woohoo!
* Weekly tasks to ensure breakup recovery success
* Weekly breakup survival tip, emailed directly to you
Normally, the cost to participate is $397. But because I want you to rock your recovery, the class is now available for $197.
Click here to listen to a preview of what we’ll cover in the course.
Dating Tip of the Week: Ask for help
Submitted by Lisa Steadman on - 8:00 am
Want to increase your chances of meeting potential partners? Then you’ve got to start asking for help…
Good luck and happy dating!
Singled Out: When You’re the Only One Not in a Relationship
Submitted by Lisa Steadman on September 21, 2008 - 7:12 am
During the course of your savvy single life, it’s bound to happen — you find yourself the only one in a particular social setting who’s still single. No biggie, right? However, if and when the time comes that you routinely find yourself the only one without a “plus one†in your social circle, things can get trickier. You may start questioning your value, grow increasingly insecure, or obsess about if and when you’ll find your perfect partner. Instead of stressing about being the only single in your social circle, celebrate it! The following tips will show you how.
Tip #1: Be your Own Arm Candy
When you’re the only one single in your social circle, it’s all too easy to get down on yourself. Everyone else seems so happily hooked up that, especially when you’re going through a dating dry spell, you can start to feel isolated, alienated, or insecure. Sound familiar? If so, stop. Instead of dreading going solo to your next social outing while everyone else has a date, give yourself permission to be your own arm candy. Buy yourself a fab new outfit, slip into those sky-high stilettos (or sexy sandals, bold boots, etc.), channel your inner diva, and make a confident entrance your friends will not soon forget. Turn on the charm, practice a little harmless flirting, and in general, be your most fabulous self. By letting go of any fears or insecurities you hold about being the only single person in the group, you allow yourself to enjoy the fun and freedom that goes along with being footloose and fancy free.
Read the entire article on e-Harmony.com
Here’s what e-Harmony has to say about The Relationship Journalist.
Inspiring Nomadic Single Woman
Submitted by Kelly Westhoff on September 20, 2008 - 7:04 am
Frequent contributor and travel junkie Kelly Westhoff takes a stroll down memory lane courtesy of her bookshelf…
I’ve been cleaning out my bookcases. It was a necessary task. Their shelves were sagging beneath the weight of so, so many pages. The job turned into a bittersweet stroll down memory lane. I couldn’t just grab an armful of titles and drop them into a box. I had to flip through each one, remember each story, try to recall exactly which life lessons, which worldly insights, I gained from each book.
One of the books I’d been hoarding on my shelves was called Tales of a Female Nomad: Living at Large in the World. It was penned by a woman named Rita Golden Gelman. I remembered its story quite well.
In it, Golden Gelman, an out-of-shape, middle-aged woman going through a divorce, decides that the best remedy to fix her floundering life is to sell all her possessions and hit the road. For fifteen years, she backpacked around the globe, stopping in Mexico, New Zealand, Bali, Thailand and more.
She liked the nomadic life so well that even now, even after her initial global wanderings have come to an end, she refuses to find a house and settle down. Instead, she crashes with friends, her children, or in rental artist studios. She also continues to travel and write.
One of the reasons I held on to this book for so long (it’s been at least six, maybe seven years since I read it), is that I so admired the author’s courage. It takes courage to pick yourself up and get on with life after a breakup. So often, a breakup means more than saying goodbye to a lost love. It also means reconciling the loss of shared dreams for a shared future.
In Tales of a Female Nomad, the author bravely acknowledges this loss and then says, “To hell with it! I’m going to recreate a new future on my own terms!”
Love that!
E-book or Traditional Publishing replay now available
Submitted by Lisa Steadman on September 19, 2008 - 11:48 am
Thanks to everyone who participated in last night’s call. The replay is now ready!
Here’s what we discussed:
E-book or traditional publishing – what’s right for your business? As someone who has successfully published both, I’ve got some tips and strategies to help you determine how to best get your message out there. Together, we uncovered:
- The pros and cons of each publishing method
- Success strategies for each method
- How you probably already have content available to publish
- How to get started (and finish!)
- Resources to ensure your success
- How to use a book to build your business
Listen to the replay now. And see my coaching calendar for upcoming publishing classes in October.
Recent radio with The Relationship Journalist!
Submitted by Lisa Steadman on September 18, 2008 - 1:13 pm
Last week, I had the pleasure of meeting and hanging out with Gina Hendrix, host of LA Talk Radio’s Love Life Makeovers. Gina and I have tons in common, and share similar beliefs about love, dating, and relationships. I had tons of fun and invite you to check out the podcast here.
This week, I enjoyed being interviewed by the amazing Carol Allen on her fantastic show Enlightening Relationships. To listen to the podcast, click here.
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