5 Dating Rules you Should Never Break
Submitted by Lisa Steadman on August 27, 2008 - 8:10 am
When it comes to your love life, do you wish there was a rule book? While The Rules are so last century, a new dating handbook has yet to be created in the new millennium.
So how do you know the dos and don’ts of dating? The truth is there are no hard and fast rules, but the following guidelines should help you navigate the tricky terrain known as your dating life.
Rule #1: Listen to Your Gut
Whether you’re on a date, communicating with someone you meet online, or flirting with a cutie you meet in the flesh, it’s important to pay attention and listen to your gut. If a potential date’s actions or words set off an internal alarm system, you owe it to yourself to pay attention and act accordingly. These alarms can be both good and bad. For example, if you’ve met someone online and they seem interesting, then you talk to them on the phone and they sound completely different (in a negative way), you may decide not to meet them in person. A positive example would be if you were on a date with someone and they seemed nervous but well intentioned, your gut might tell you to give them a second chance. By going on a second date, you’ll gain a better understanding of who they really are and if you’d like to see them again.
Read the rest of the rules at eHarmony.com.
Here’s what eHarmony has to say about The Relationship Journalist.
Taking the plunge
Submitted by Lisa Steadman on August 26, 2008 - 7:28 pm
This afternoon, I did something 36 years in the making.
I took the plunge and went swimming in the Firehole swimhole in Yellowstone Park. Silly as it sounds, this is something I have always wanted to do but never done, even though I’ve spent time in Yellowstone Park almost every summer of my entire life.
So why today?
It was time. Growing up, my family would drive by the swimming hole, but never stop. I would look out the window enviously at the kids swimming and playing in the water. My mother would warn me of the dangers of fast currents and unsupervised hooligans.
As an adult, I had other reasons. I was too body-conscious, thought I was too old to play in the water, you name it, I made an excuse for it.
I’m done making excuses for living a small life. As owner of a company called Woohoo, Inc., my life is dedicated to helping others experience the best life has to offer them. From fulfilling relationships to embracing life in all its complexity to building a passionate business, my clients look to me for inspiration.
What a shame it would be if I continued making excuses for why I’ve never taken the plunge.
Even this morning I made excuses. It was too cold. I had work to do. But when the sun came out at noon, I put on my bathing suit, got in the car, and drove to the swimming hole. While it sometimes gets pretty crowded, there were only a few people hanging around. And no one was in the water. That is, until I took the plunge.
Setting my towel and car keys on a nearby rock, I waded into cool river water. And once I got deep enough, I completely submerged myself. When I resurfaced, I let out a Woohoo! The water felt great. I felt empowered and alive! And even though I’m not the best swimmer and the current was strong, I stayed in the water for as long as I felt like it. I just swam around, splashed, laughed, and felt pure joy in my heart.
Afterwards, I wrapped a towel around me, scaled the big rock, and just sat there, relishing in my accomplishment. I stayed there until I was warm and dry.
As simple as taking the plunge was, it was monumental because of what it meant to me. I had conquered a fear of sorts while treating my inner child to something she’d been waiting 36 years to experience. Talk about a high!
This isn’t the only plunge I’m taking these days. After getting back from New Zealand with Mr. XY, and spending one week in Los Angeles, I packed my bags and headed to Montana for my last single gal adventure. In a month, I’m getting married. Not only that, I just finished my next book and turned it into the publisher. And I just launched my first e-book Bad Love No More!. It’s all about taking the plunge and breaking free of limiting love beliefs.
I guess you could say I’m getting comfortable taking the plunge. Can I get a “Woohoo!”?
Every day, people go through breakups. That plunges them into a whole new journey in life. As difficult and devastating as breakups can be, they’re also freeing and fabulous because after the plunge, you discover so much about yourself. You discover your resilience, your fabulousness, your ability to survive and thrive and eventually move on with your life, etc.
If taking the plunge today taught me anything, it’s that sometimes the greatest obstacle in our path from Boohoo! to Woohoo! is ourselves. By getting out of our own way, we give ourselves permission to live, really live the way were meant to. We let go of fear. Stop holding on to what no longer works. In doing so, we reconnect to our authentic self, which ultimately leads us to the life were meant to live.
What plunge do you need to take to get where you need to go? Why not give yourself permission to let go and leap today?
And when you do, don’t forget to loudly and proudly exclaim, “Woohoo!”
Dating Tip of the Week: Embrace happiness today!
Submitted by Lisa Steadman on August 25, 2008 - 8:01 am
Do you say “My life will be happy when…”? Stop right now and love your life today!
Good luck and happy dating!
Breakup Tip of the Week: Take a mental health day!
Submitted by Lisa Steadman on August 24, 2008 - 7:41 am
Breakup blues got you down? You may just need to take a mental health day to get back on track…
Good luck and happy healing!
New: Upcoming Webinars!
Submitted by Lisa Steadman on August 23, 2008 - 7:30 am
Woohoo! Back by popular demand, the following webinars have been scheduled for the fall:
EVENT: Break Free of Bad Love Habits – For Good!
DATE & TIME: Wednesday, September 10th at 6:30pm Pacific
FORMAT: Simulcast! (Attend via Phone or Webcast — it’s your choice)
Click here for details
EVENT: How to Keep Your Breakup from Becoming a Breakdown
DATE & TIME: Tuesday, September 16th at 6:30pm Pacific
FORMAT: Simulcast! (Attend via Phone or Webcast — it’s your choice)
Click here for details
EVENT: 26 Secrets Successful Singles Know
DATE & TIME: Thursday, October 2nd at 6:00pm Pacific
FORMAT: Simulcast! (Attend via Phone or Webcast — it’s your choice)
Click here for details
EVENT: How to Get Published (Non-fiction)
DATE & TIME: Tuesday, October 7th at 7:00pm Pacific
FORMAT: Simulcast! (Attend via Phone or Webcast — it’s your choice)
Click here for details
Dating Tip of the Week: Embrace online dating
Submitted by Lisa Steadman on August 21, 2008 - 7:37 am
While it shouldn’t be the only tool in your dating arsenal, online dating is a great way to practice, practice, practice…
Good luck and happy dating!
Breakup Tip of the Week: Set a deadline on your pain
Submitted by Lisa Steadman on August 20, 2008 - 7:30 am
One of the best things you can do during your breakup recovery is set a deadline for your pain and suffering…
Good luck and happy healing!
Dating Tip of the Week: Create a New Love Vocabulary
Submitted by Lisa Steadman on August 15, 2008 - 8:08 am
Calling all savvy singles! Want to increase your chances of dating success? First, create a fun and fab vocab…
Good luck and happy dating!
Breakup Tip of the Week: Reclaim Your Space
Submitted by Lisa Steadman on August 13, 2008 - 8:20 am
Ready to rock your breakup recovery this week? It starts with reclaiming your fabulous space…
Good luck and happy healing!
Not So Single Gal On Safari, Part 4 (L.A., here I come!)
Submitted by Lisa Steadman on August 2, 2008 - 6:27 pm
In my usual travel fashion, I arrived at the NZ airport with heaps (my fave new word!) of time before my flight leaves. Already done with my OK Magazine, I thought I’d write one last blog entry about my time here. Truthfully, I thought I’d be chronicling my NZ adventures more regularly. Alas…work, book, life, and love happened.
When MR. XY first approached me about coming to the other side of the world, I was all for it. That is, after I rescheduled the rest of my summer plans. We knew it would be a life altering experience. We just didn’t know how it would affect us.
For me, living in New Zealand has been surprisingly healing. Actually, all of 2008 has been a bit of a magical mystery tour in terms of spiritual growth, enlightenment, and transformation. Unplugging from my uber-busy, overly scheduled LA life was the best gift I could give myself. Getting back to basics, taking time to live and love life, working with two wonderful teachers, and refocusing my energy to include Lisa the woman as well as Lisa the business owner and relationship coach was essential to my Woohoo! factor.
And yet I still accomplished amazing professional feats. I finished my second book. Am about to launch my very first e-book. Mapped out Book #3. Have continued coaching clients and working with my VA on my greater Woohoo, Inc. vision. (When I say I’m a recovering overachiever, I sometimes wonder about the “recovering” part)
Just as awesome as my professional achievements, Mr. XY and I pushed our limits on this trip, exploring this gorgeous country, and doing our best to live life to the fullest even when we were tired, cranky, and/or homesick. We met some fantastic new friends. Fell in love with rugby. (The All Blacks game last night ROCKED!) and got a taste of what our next big adventure will be like – our month long honeymoon in Paris. We know now we travel extremely well together, can live together in even the tiniest of quarters, and are able to give each other both support AND space, as needed. I think we already knew these things but they became abundantly clearer on this trip.
And now back to La La Land. I’m both ready and hesitant. I want to maintain my Zen and not lose focus of what’s important. LA’s a tough place. Nobody makes eye contact. Everybody’s in a rush to get discovered. And no matter how much you accomplish, it never seems like it’s enough. Can I avoid those pitfalls? Here’s hoping…
