What a business conference taught me about breakup survival

Submitted by Lisa Steadman on June 6, 2008 - 7:15 am

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I love learning new things. And yet I’m often surprised how the lessons I learn translate into different areas of my life. Take the lessons I learned at Mark Victor Hansen’s Mega Business weekend seminar. They’re business strategies, and yet they can be applied to breakup survival. Let me explain…

Lesson #1: Make a plan
In business, it’s important to have a solid business plan. For me, I’m creating content, products, and coaching programs to help people take their love lives from BooHoo to WooHoo! The first step of course is BooHoo, a.k.a. breaking up. When going through a breakup, you’ve got a have a plan. If your plan is to mope around the house, obsess about your ex, and constantly ask yourself what went wrong, you’re going to remain in a state of misery, right? Instead, if your plan is to heal and move on as quickly as possible, then you allow yourself the tears, moping, etc. but you also have a plan for moving beyond that. You create new boundaries with your ex, fill your free time with fun and nurturing activities, and ask for help when you need it.

Lesson #2: Surround yourself with a team
For years now, I’ve run my own business. And I’ve done an excellent job. But I’ve often struggled with having too much on my plate and not enough time to accomplish everything necessary to make my business run smoothly. Oftentimes, I sacrifice sleep, time with friends, and that much-needed relaxation because my business came first. It was only recently that I realized I needed help. Admitting that I can’t do it all isn’t a sign of weakness. It’s actually a show of strength. And so I’ve invested in a virtual assistant and part time typist to help my business run more smoothly. And wouldn’t you know, my business has taken off as a result!

The same thing goes for breakup recovery. In order to survive and thrive, you’ve got to have a support system in place. I call them your Boo-Hoo Crew, but you can call them whatever you want. By surrounding yourself with loving and supportive friends, you avoid the backslide into your ex’s arms (and bed), and have helped when your emotions take over. While my #1 tip for getting over a breakup is to distance yourself from your ex, the second most important thing you can do during your breakup recovery is get your support system in place. Together, you will not only survive but thrive!

Lesson #3: Dream B-I-G
I used to think that having lofty goals and dreams was a bad thing. That it meant I wasn’t being realistic. But truthfully, how can you ever accomplish anything if you don’t set your sights on what you really want? Just as I have a big dreams for my business, I had big dreams for my love life following my Big Breakup. See, I knew that in order to have a happy and healthy relationship future I had to believe that it was attainable. I had to believe I deserved it! And until I believed it, nothing would change. So I started dreaming big. I started dreaming of a love that was real and lasting. My perfect partner was somebody who could love and support me. Maybe he’d even like to travel. Maybe he’d even dream big! And you know what? I found him. Because I finally started dreaming big, I got real results. So can you. As you heal and move on from your breakup, start dreaming big about your relationship future. What do you really want? Even if you’ve never experienced satisfying love, give yourself permission to believe you deserve it. You absolutely do. Now go out there, and dream big!