Top 10 Reasons Why Dating an Entrepreneur Rocks
Submitted by Lisa Steadman on June 26, 2008 - 2:08 pm
A while back, Launching Queen Amy Swift of Ladies Who Launch invited me to weigh in on the top 10 reasons dating an entrepreneur rocks. Here’s a sampling:
1. We’re not waiting to be rescued. Rather than wait for some guy to come along before we have a home of our own, pay down debt, and plan for the future, as female entrepreneurs we’re actively living our dream lives on a daily basis. We don’t expect the guy in our life to take care of us. We’re just looking for someone who can enjoy the amazing journey with us.
2. We know what we want and aren’t afraid to go after it. What’s sexier than a woman who has goals, ambition, and actively goes after what she wants? Nothing! And the right guy will dig the fact that you not only talk the talk but walk the walk.
3. We like our careers (translation: we’re happier than the average 9-to-5′er). As launching ladies, our businesses most likely started with a personal passion. Even on the most difficult business day, we love what we do. That better equips us to be healthy and happy individuals, and healthy and happy individuals make for fantastic partners.
To read the full article, click here.
Not-So-Single Gal on Safari, Part 3
Submitted by Lisa Steadman on June 24, 2008 - 9:34 pm
OK, I didn’t mean to take an almost 2-week break between blog posts. Needless to say, I’ve been busy. What have I been up to? Oh, the usual… (note the sarcasm)
Appearing on New Zealand TV
The morning I arrived at the hotel in New Zealand, I was too tired to do much of anything other than watch TV while I waited for Mr. XY to pick me up for lunch. I spent most of that time tuned in to New Zealand’s version of The Today Show called Good Morning. After finding my book at the local Borders (who knew I was international?), I e-mailed the show producers to see if they’d be interested in having me on the show. I got an e-mail a couple days later, and appeared on the show last Friday. It was so much fun! I absolutely loved meeting everyone involved and had a ball. I must’ve done okay because they’ve asked me to come back again before I return home. Woohoo!
Working on my book
I case I haven’t mentioned it before, I love, love, love writing books. And even though my deadline is tight, I’m still thoroughly enjoying the process of writing this book. It’s no coincidence that halfway through my book, in a chapter about reclaiming your space, I change my space. Talk about life imitating art! The fact that I get to write while looking out at the New Zealand harbor? Bonus!
Finding my perfect red wedding dress
I admit it. I wasn’t looking forward to finding a wedding dress. I just lack vision when it comes to these things. Plus, I’m a short curvy girl who has trouble finding clothes that fit. Regular stores are usually too small. Plus size, too big. What’s a Relationship Journalist to do? I ended up seeking out expert help in the form of Sophie Voon, an awesome New Zealand designer with her own boutique. While I wasn’t crazy about forking over thousands of dollars to get a custom-made wedding dress, if anyone was worthy of my hard-earned cash, it would be Sophie and her team. While their sample sizes didn’t quite fit, I knew I was in capable hands. Imagine my shock and awe when the shopgirl pulled out the most stunning red dress I’ve ever seen, the only one like it in the store, just arrived the day before, and in my size. I put it on and it fit like a glove. Not only that, I felt like a Princess bride. (Cue the music, bird chirping) I went in for a fitting today and with minimal changes, will have my beautiful, perfect, dreamy dress for my beautiful, perfect, dreamy wedding day by the end of the week.
Living the dream
Over lunch the other day, Mr. XY asked what I was going to do with my afternoon. He had to return to work. I told him I was going to the gym and then writing all afternoon. He turned to me, smiled, and said “Nice life.” And unlike the old Lisa who would have felt the need to apologize, I simply smiled and said “Yes, thank you.” The truth is, this is my dream life. I created it this way. I am so incredibly grateful and thrilled with the results. But this is the funny thing about dreams. Your life doesn’t magically take away all those old issues and baggage. With so much of my dream life in place, the parts that aren’t perfect are even more glaring. I jokingly ask myself all the time, “If this is my dream life why aren’t my thighs thinner and my wallet thicker?” I also know that the chronic neck and shoulder issues are a result of pursuing a dream life that revolves around a computer. Just this year, I’ve become aware that in order to be the absolute perfect partner for Mr. XY, I have some work to do. And for the first time in a long time, I’m back in therapy. I’m not screwed up. None of us are. I’m just in for a tune up because that’s what healthy and happy people do. They recognize when they need help, and they ask for it. I enjoy being able to help others and in turn, I absolutely must help myself. By taking an honest look in the mirror, I get that much closer to other areas of my dream life.
I guess you could say my trip down under has been more than just a life adventure. It’s been a soul adventure, too. Woohoo!
Breakup Tip of the Week: Create a new night time ritual
Submitted by Lisa Steadman on June 22, 2008 - 7:34 am
This week’s tip is all about how to reclaim your evening so you’re not stuck thinking of your ex before bed…
Happy healing!
Three Dates in One Week
Submitted by LJMaggie on June 20, 2008 - 7:15 am
I’m a big believer in multi-dating! It definitely takes the pressure off any given date, as frequent contributor LJ Maggie can attest…
Not much has happened since I revealed my feelings to the crush. I have seen and talked to him in the weeks since but the relationship issue hasn’t come up again. And I am not one to wait around for anyone.
In trying to forget about the crush, I managed to line up three dates in one week. How it happened I am still not sure. And since I am a gambling woman I figured those were pretty good odds of one of them working out. Two of the guys I met on Craigslist (Hey I met the crush through Craigslist but then again I also met The EX there, too) and the third guy I met on Chemistry.
Date One (CL Guy #1): We met up at the local movie theatre to see the highly anticipated Indiana Jones movie. He used to work in movie production and I am a writer, sounded like a good date right? Well the movie and the date were not that great. Throughout the movie he would make random comments about the movie and touch my leg while doing it. It was okay the first couple of times but he did that a dozen times. Not exactly proper movie watching etiquette. I shouldn’t have totally dismissed him because of that but he also said he doesn’t like to wear anything other than T-shirts and shorts. Remember from my earlier posting, Back to the Game, I turned someone else away for that same reason.
Date Two (Chemistry Guy): We had been trying to figure out a good time to meet in person, we had been talking and texting each other for two weeks already. He had invited me to come over to his house and he was going to make me dinner. Going to a guy’s house on the first date is a little risky and mom would not approve (she actually didn’t when I told her the day after the date). But he is a single dad and from the conversations we had I just had this good feeling about him. When I got to his house there was a grilled feast that I wanted to eat all of but I remained a lady. We talked and watched a couple of movies before falling asleep in each other’s arms. It was a great first date. The next morning he had to leave for a couple of meetings but told me I could stay as long as I wanted and would call me later. He did end up calling me the following day asking for a second date.
Date Three (CL Guy #2): I should have cancelled this date. I did once before because I wasn’t sure about this guy and should have stuck with my gut. But being the nice person I am, I gave him a chance. This date was just as bad as the one earlier in the week, if not worse. We decided to meet at the movie theatre and just decide on a movie when we got there. There were only two movies that weren’t sold out when we got there. One was action the other was romantic comedy. I told him he could decide, shouldn’t be hard right? Well it was for him and I chose the movie which he ended up snoring in the middle of. Oh yes he was snoring and I had to nudge him to wake him up. We were watching an action movie, seriously how can you sleep in the middle of that? Oh yes I dismissed this guy.
The funny thing about the week was the only guy whose number I saved in my phone before the dates was the single dad from date #2. Must have been a sign.
Dating Tip of the Week: Demystify “The One”
Submitted by Lisa Steadman on June 16, 2008 - 7:22 am
After a brief travel hiatus, your weekly breakup and dating videos are back. Enjoy!
This week’s dating tip is all about letting go of your obsession with finding “The One.”
Good luck and happy dating!
I Let Him Hurt Me Again
Submitted by LJMaggie on June 15, 2008 - 2:14 pm
Frequent contributor LJ Maggie discovers that closure comes with a cost…
I broke the number one rule of getting over a breakup, “Stop all communication with THE EX.”
We broke up ten months ago and haven’t seen or talked to each other in eight. Yes I know I shouldn’t have talked to him after the break up but it happens, I had a weak moment.
But lately I haven’t talked to him and was really good about it until about three weeks ago when he sent me a message online. I thought enough time had gone by and we could be civil with each other. We were having a great conversation and he was being really nice. Before I knew it I was inviting him to come over the next morning. I honestly didn’t think he would show up but at 8am he was there and we were cuddling like we used to. I won’t lie it was nice to feel his arms around me again. Feel his touch and soft kisses on my back. We ended up laying there for two hours before both of us had to leave for work. On my drive in he called to tell me how nice it was to see me and he had noticed I was losing weight and looked good. Coming from him, this was huge because he rarely said anything like that when we were together. I thought “Wow maybe he has changed and we could do this again.” All I could think about all day was the morning we had spent together and it made me smile. Maybe we could try this again.
But he squashed that thought as quickly as he put it there. The day after that morning we were talking online and the conversation was good aside from his usual annoying comments. Then he admitted that he is still with one of his exes. Someone he was with before we met. What he had never told me until that afternoon was he has been with this girl for two years.
What???
If he was telling the truth he had been lying to me since the first day we met. We dated for six months and broke up ten months ago. You do the math. He was seeing someone when we first met even though he told me he had been single for six months. When I asked him if he was being serious, he said yes it was all true. I told him thanks for finally admitting that he is a liar and a cheat. I also told him he has no regard for people’s emotions and I never wanted to see or talk to him again. It was then I realized he will never change and will continue to do this to women as long as he can get away with it. It is a game to him, messing with emotions and he never feels he is in the wrong. It was the last little knife he was driving into my heart but I am not letting it affect me. I am getting past this and erasing him from my life for good.
Not-So-Single Gal on Safari, Day 4
Submitted by Lisa Steadman on June 12, 2008 - 3:07 pm
Here are some things that are the same in any country…
Lattes: They may call them flat whites, but they still are absolutely delicious and my favorite way to wake up! Lucky for me, soy milk is also universal.
Breakups: Watching the local morning news, breakups have been a topic of conversation every day since I arrived. Maybe I’ll try to get on local TV. But I digress… What I love is that this proves breakups are universal. Rather than thinking at any given time you are the only one feeling the tremendous pain and agony of a broken heart, you’re not alone. If everyone else can get through it, so can you!
Sex & the City movie: The night before I flew to New Zealand, I took my girlfriends to see Sex & the City. It was a total Girls Night Out in the theater! I took Mr. XY to see the film a few nights ago here in Wellington and it was the same experience. Girlfriends going to the movies together. Love that!
The Gym: I’m kicking my own ass at the gym here. Strangely, I love it. That’s definitely different. What’s not changed is the fact that I make a million and one excuses NOT to workout before I give in and go.
My Writing: Same goes for my writing. A million excused followed by sitting down in front of a beautiful view of Wellington Harbor and W-R-I-T-I-N-G.
Gotta run. Need to shower and change before meeting Mr. XY and his colleagues for lunch. G’day!
Not-So-Single Gal on Safari
Submitted by Lisa Steadman on June 11, 2008 - 7:24 pm
The very first breakup story I ever wrote was about the importance of traveling as a way to heal your heart. After my big breakup I went to Greece, hoping to get over Mr. Ex in a very Shirley Valentine way. What ended up happening is a different story. Mr. XY and I reconciled upon my return.
After our final breakup, I traveled to Montana for the summer, rediscovered who I really was, and changed my life forever. I even briefly wrote a blog entitled Single Gal On Safari chronicling my Montana adventures as a savvy single gal. Needless to say, I’m a big believer in the healing power of travel.
Now that there are no more breakups in my future, travel has other meanings. It fulfills my thirst for adventure, expands my mind and my comfort level, and is something that I happily share with my fellow adventure junkie Mr. XY. Which sort of explains why as I write this I’m staring out at a breathtaking view of the harbor in Wellington, New Zealand. Mr. XY is here on business and I’m here to finish my next book, The Breakup Workbook.
Surprisingly, being away from friends and family is tough. Trying to stick to my brand new food rotation diet to weed out food sensitivities is even tougher. Fortunately, we have a little kitchen in our hotel room which will make things easier. Needless to say, on Day #3 of my adventure, this not-so-single gal on safari feels out of her element. Thank God there’s no language barrier. I’d really be in trouble then!
I did discover a little piece of home earlier today when I found my book It’s A Breakup, Not A Breakdown at Borders. I had no idea my book was in other countries! Admittedly, I got a little choked up carrying my book to the register as I offered to autograph it. Tears were short lived, as the clerk told me not to sign the book until she’d looked it up to see if copies were selling well. I had to laugh — not even in cold hearted Los Angeles do they say that to your face. But I get it. If I sign the book and it doesn’t sell, they can’t return it. Fortunately for me, four copies of my book have sold in the last two weeks. Which is pretty good, considering the book’s been out for a year now. Maybe my royalty check won’t be so laughable next time. Here’s hoping…
Stay tuned for my ongoing adventures. For now, it’s back to the book writing. G’day, Mates!
The importance of dreaming B-I-G!
Submitted by Lisa Steadman on June 6, 2008 - 8:58 pm
Recently, I attended Mark Victor Hansen’s Mega Business weekend seminar. I was hoping to learn a thing or two about growing my business WooHoo, Inc., a business I started to help people transform their love lives from BooHoo to WooHoo! The speakers were absolutely amazing, and covered a variety of topics. I came away with three important lessons, which I’ll share in a minute. What surprised me is that these three lessons not only apply to growing a business, but they also apply to healing and moving on from a breakup. How cool is that? The lessons are as follows:
1. Make a plan
2. Surround yourself with a team of people to help you
3. Dream B-I-G
Click here to read the full article.
Sounds simple enough, right? It actually is. But even with these clearly stated goals, it’s surprising how often we get in our own way. Case in point: Mr. XY received a phone call a few weeks ago about an exciting two month job opportunity in New Zealand. The pay was great, travel was covered, start date immediate. All he had to do was say yes, get on a plane, and go.
Guess what? Mr. XY almost turned down the job. I almost wanted him to! After all, we had the next two months planned. I had seminars to attend, a cabin in Montana reserved where I could go and finish my book in peace, and he was lining up several other short-term gigs in the Los Angeles area. Changing our plans would be a pain in the ass.
And then we looked at the big picture. We both love to travel, can both work from anywhere, and have created lives that give us incredible amounts of freedom. So why were we chaining ourselves to Los Angeles? By taking our blinders off, we realized New Zealand was an amazing opportunity. It perfectly aligned with our dream life vision. If we could work from anywhere and did love to travel, why not go to New Zealand for two months? Really, what was stopping us?
As I write this, Mr. XY is on the other side of the world loving New Zealand. I join him on Sunday. We were quickly and easily able to reschedule seminars, cabin rentals, line up a cat sitter, etc. Sure we had to change our immediate plans, but if our overall plan is to say yes to adventure, then it was up to us to honor that. And so we did.
With that in mind, here’s wishing you continued success in your own life. Make a plan, surround yourself with supportive people, and above all, dream big!
Want to bury your breakup?
Submitted by Lisa Steadman on - 7:36 am
Let me start off by saying I am in no way affiliated with the site I’m about to mention. It’s called exmarkstheplot.com. Basically, you can bury your ex, your old self, your old relationship, etc. in cyberspace. It’s an interesting idea — acting as a widow following a breakup — and one that I am writing about in my upcoming book. However, I’m not sure how I feel about the $6.95 cost. The truth is, you can bury your breakup in the comfort of your own home for free. All you need is an old shoebox and a Ken doll. But it’s an intriguing idea and one I wanted to share.
So if you feel the need, check out exmarkstheplot.com and put your ex to rest in cyberspace.
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