Breaking up on youtube is not so hard to do (but not so smart either!)

Submitted by Lisa Steadman on April 17, 2008 - 8:54 am

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By now, you’ve probably heard about the youtube video of a scorned socialite trashing her ex for the world to see. If you haven’t, here’s the gist of it: Young, blonde, British socialite Tricia Walsh Smith thinks her husband, Broadway theater mogul Philip J. Smith wants to evict her from their posh New York apartment. Instead of handling things with dignity through a lawyer, Tricia takes her case to YouTube, trashing her ex’s reputation by claiming they never had sex during the marriage but that he is obviously having sex with other people since she recently found his stash of Viagra, porn, and condoms.

Tricia is playing the victim to the hilt. She claims her husband is trying to evict her, that their air-tight prenup has screwed her over, that her stepdaughter is stealing the money she rightfully deserves, not to mention the fact that her acting career isn’t going in the direction she’d like.

Wait a minute — actress? Is this whole thing staged? It’s definitely produced better than the average amateur video but the facts remain the facts. Tricia thinks she’s being a “warrior,” taking action instead of letting her hubby ambush her, but all she’s really doing is making her husband’s case for divorce that much stronger. (While making herself out to be a gold digger, admitting that she married her hubby knowing they would never have sex, asked him how much money she’ll get if he had a stroke, and calling his children evil because they’re trying to protect his assets.)

Here’s the thing. In an age when airing our dirty laundry online has become the norm, have dignity, decorum, and fairness gone out the window? When celebs routinely blog about their personal battles with other celebs, lovers, etc. on their MySpace page, people breakup via text messages or blog entries instead of face to face, and embittered divorce battles play out before the cameras before they play out in court (Sir Paul and Heather, anyone?), what’s next? Seriously, it won’t be long before America starts voting on whether or not two people should breakup, who gets what in the divorce, and who gets to play the villain.

While it’s tempting blog about, film, or in any other way air your personal battles online (the momentary sense of empowerment and justice can be quite satisfying), proceed with caution. And keep the following in mind:

Revenge is a dish best served privately
When we’ve been scorned, we all fantasize about seeking revenge on the person who’s hurt us. Especially if that person is a former lover. But while revenge fantasies are fun, revenge realities are dangerous, possibly involving cyber stalking, restraining orders, and/or jail time. Rather than spend any more of your energy on your ex, focus instead on your personal recovery and bright future. And keep the revenge fantasies just that — fantasies.

Your personal rant can and will be used against you
If you choose to air your dirty laundry online, be prepared for the consequences. Not only will the people you wanted to see your rant be able to view it (your ex, his friends, your friends, etc.), but plenty of others will too. Strangers will weigh in with their opinion (and not all in favor of you!). Plus, your ex may retaliate, either using the information against you in court (if you’re going through a divorce) or creating their own online rant that paints a very nasty picture of you. Is it worth it?

What comes around goes around
Just as we leave a carbon footprint on the earth, we also leave an online footprint based on our internet activities. This activity is easily monitored, by potential employers, future boyfriends or girlfriends, etc. All anyone has to do is Google you. Do you really want such petty behavior to come back and haunt you? Is the momentary feeling of self-satisfaction worth the long term consequences?

As for “poor” Tricia, her saga promises to continue to playing out online.