To Rebound or Not to Rebound?

Submitted by Lisa Steadman on May 18, 2007 - 9:52 pm

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Nothing can make a fab female feel more unwanted or unattractive than getting dumped, especially if we thought everything was going along just fine. Meeting someone new, on the other hand, can be exhilarating.  It can make us feel beautiful, desirable (and even downright naughty!), which may be exactly what we’re seeking post-breakup.  And while hooking up with someone new may delay the post-breakup pain you’re feeling, it will not mend your broken heart.

Let me say that again.  Rebounding after a breakup may be a quick fix, but it will not repair the emotional damage that your breakup caused.  It will not erase the memory of your ex.  It will not heal your heartbreak.  And it will not make you feel better in the long run.  Only time can do that.  If, however, you decide that a rebound relationship is in your future, the following are a few time-tested tips to help navigate this tricky terrain.

Honesty Is The Best Policy
When it comes to rebounding, it’s important to be honest with everyone involved and that means yourself, your friends, and the object of your rebound affection.  First, it’s important to figure out what you’re emotionally equipped to handle at this point.  Sometimes harmless flirtation is all you need to feel like your sensational self again.  Then again, you may have your mind set on a one night stand-style rebound. If this is the case, just be sure you know what you’re getting into. And be sure to tell a least one member of your Boo-Hoo Crew so that if they can’t talk you out of it, they at least know what (and who) you’re doing.  Keep in mind that sex with a stranger won’t make the memory of your ex any dimmer.  It will most likely just add to your confusion and/or create more internal drama.  But because being a fab female also means being pretty stubborn sometimes, a gal’s gonna do what a gal’s gonna do. Here are the do’s and don’ts of rebounding:

DO: see your rebound for what it is (a temporary quick fix), as well is what it is not (a replacement for your last relationship or a way to heal your heart)

DON’T: engage in unprotected sex, or lead anyone on (as in rebounding with a nice guy who’s looking for a girlfriend)

Location, Location, Location
If you’re serious about seeking out a rebound relationship, the following are some possible places to recruit your rebound guy:

Bars and Clubs
Happily ever after rarely starts on the dance floor at the club or on the bar stool next to you but a rockin’ rebound? Maybe!  Just be prepared for cheesy pickup lines and beer breath.

At The Gym
If you’re looking for a muscle man to distract you from your broken heart, sidle up to Bicep Boy and ask him for some workout tips.  It’ll give his ego a stroke (and possibly he’ll return the favor later!).

Online
We’ve all trolled for Mr. Right online but now’s the time to seek out Mr. Right Now.  A word of warning: avoid marriage-minded sites and instead look for more casual dating sites where you’re more likely to meet potential rebound candidates (and not lead anyone looking for a wife astray).

And when Rebounding, Always Remember…
Be honest about your intentions with your rebound guy
Jumping into another relationship doesn’t mean you’re over your ex
And always, always practice safe sex (Nobody needs a broken heart AND an STD!)

 Have a rebound story to tell? Share it here!